Sand&Water Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 **Keep in Mind: The man, in the questions below, knows the woman is truly a Rare Find! [He Cares about her & She Stimulates his mind]** Can a man, that is romantically interested in a woman, walk away from her because she is emotionally distant? Does Emotionally Distant/Inaccessible = Lack of Care in a man's eyes? In other words: IF a man is truly interested/"in-like" with a woman, even if she is emotionally distant, wouldn't he still stick around? Genuine Man: Would he stick around, show that he cares about her and hope that she will gradually open-up over time? Player: Would he just stick around for a month or three, then leave because he tried to get what he wanted but couldn't -and so he just gave-up? I would GREATLY appreciate any answers. Thank you in advance. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Emotional distance can be too draining to pursue, IMO. Maybe a genuine man would stick around, but a player wouldn't last three months, he would move on, as he is a player and an emotionally distant woman isn't "playing" his game. The genuine man might keep an emotionally distant woman on his short list, but would probably still pursue others. he may find someone interested in him and that would negate a list at all. If this is about you, personally, weigh the pros and cons of leaving the genuine man in limbo. All of a sudden I realize I am assuming there are two men. If you suspect a player, I would follow that sense until he proved himself to be genuine. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I agree with DDL - emotional distance, even - or rather, especially - from someone you care very much about, can be incredibly draining. No one likes to feel constantly tested or held at arm's-length, and ultimately it would be difficult not to wonder if the emotionally distant partner isn't just stringing you along. It sounds like you're trying to decide if a particular guy is a player or is genuine, based on whether he'll stick around despite feeling frustrated...and my answer is: that's probably not a good metric to use. Even a genuine guy might get fed up with a constant feeling of distance; that wouldn't make him a player. Instead, it could just mean he's decided he needs to take care of himself, which is also worthy of respect. But why maintain the emotional distance, is my question? Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 **Keep in Mind: The man, in the questions below, knows the woman is truly a Rare Find! [He Cares about her & She Stimulates his mind]** I believe you;) Can a man, that is romantically interested in a woman, walk away from her because she is emotionally distant? Yes it is more then usual. Does Emotionally Distant/Inaccessible = Lack of Care in a man's eyes? Yes, b/c it is "lack of care" in the matter of fact. He can have doubts if it is b/c she is shy or whatever but in the end of day...she is just cold. In other words: IF a man is truly interested/"in-like" with a woman, even if she is emotionally distant, wouldn't he still stick around? Question is...Can he be trully interested with a woman if she is emotionally distant. Probably not so much....thats why he probaly wont stick around. Genuine Man: Would he stick around, show that he cares about her and hope that she will gradually open-up over time? It depends if he sees some hope that it will get better. If she is fighting it. Its important to let him know you are interested in him....but it seems to me its the core of the problem init? That she cant let him know she cares b/c she is emotionally distant. At least try....small hints. Call him time to time. 'Id like to see you' or 'I had a great time'. Dont forget most Men are emotionally distant themselves, they have to b/c of enemies. And women can be the most dangerous ones;) So dont hope he will open up first. Player: Would he just stick around for a month or three, then leave because he tried to get what he wanted but couldn't -and so he just gave-up? You are missing the point. Player is a man faking real interest or using other skills to bed a woman he is not really interested in (lets say 60% of interest level max). If he is really interested he is not Player anymore. He is skillful Man then:) I think Player would gave up sooner but it depends on his interest level and his attitude. If he is able to date multiple woman at a time, he can wait years only to get a one night satisfaction. If he is dating you, makes time for you it is a sign he is interested. If you hold your cards too close to your chest for too long he will give up. Can you be more specific? Link to post Share on other sites
LuminousZ Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Even a genuine guy might get fed up with a constant feeling of distance; that wouldn't make him a player. Instead, it could just mean he's decided he needs to take care of himself, which is also worthy of respect. Serial Muse identifies a good point. I recently informed my girlfriend of five months that I love her very much, but I love myself MORE. If she isn't able to be more sensitive to my feelings I am leaving and I'm not one to look back. So, Sand&Water.., to answer your question, "Can a man who's romantically interested in a beautiful woman walk away if she's emotionally distant?" Absolutely. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 It sounds like you're trying to decide if a particular guy is a player or is genuine, based on whether he'll stick around despite feeling frustrated...and my answer is: that's probably not a good metric to use. Even a genuine guy might get fed up with a constant feeling of distance; that wouldn't make him a player. Instead, it could just mean he's decided he needs to take care of himself, which is also worthy of respect. I agree. And Id like to add that Player is more likely to wait b/c he knows these games and has plenty of other oportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
Porn_Guy Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Can a man' date=' that is romantically interested in a woman, walk away from her because she is emotionally distant[/i']? S&W...it depends on why she is emotionally distant or lacks empathy. For example, if she is emotioanlly distant cause she loves some other man then he should walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
StayClose Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 From a man's perspective, an emotionally distant woman looks exactly like a woman who "just not into" him or likes him "just as friends" or deliberately plays games. A "genuine" may hang around for a while, but only until until he meets someone else who is more emotionally available. A player will not stick around so long. If he can't break through her defenses within 1-3 dates, he'll move on to the next target. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sand&Water Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 RE: I made a mistake. I made a mistake! Only after the man, in the above situation, left did I realize what I actually lost. A Genuine Man. -But he has made mistakes too! Believe me I didn't mean to hurt him. I have only hurt myself, in this process. I am the emotionally distant woman. I can't control it. I just can't. It is a part of me. What Am I To Do Now? I don't know IF I will EVER be able to get him back. I am busy at the moment. I will definitely reply to all the messages with the details, later on. I have a PLAN, but I'm not sure how effective it will be. Thank You All For The Feedback. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
someone2 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I am currently involved in a similar situation. Well, at least I believe I am! There is a good chance she is REALLY not interested in me at all. This thread made me think that maybe she is just emotionally distant? Maybe I am delusional? It is a very complicated story. But anyway, I'd say you probaby still have a chance to get this guy back. I have no idea what it is like to be emotionally distant (since I am not), but just try to slowly get back into this life, and give him a very gentle signal and see what happens. I know this would work on me in my current situation Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 From a man's perspective, an emotionally distant woman looks exactly like a woman who "just not into" him or likes him "just as friends" or deliberately plays games. A "genuine" may hang around for a while, but only until until he meets someone else who is more emotionally available. A player will not stick around so long. If he can't break through her defenses within 1-3 dates, he'll move on to the next target. 100% on the mark, thats how i look at it also. dating or even attempting to be with someone who is emotionally available is very draining. it takes 2 to tango, even having conversations is a 2 way street. The last date i went on was with a girl who appears emotionally unavailable. Do I know why she is or when she's planning to be available? no i dont. But ill give her a few more tries, and if nothing changes, it wouldnt be worth pursuing. If you think about it, it can be disrespectful and in worst case scenario also be a form of emotional abuse (to the one that is available). People can only tolerate so much before they move onto other opportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I think it depends. If she was just that way naturally, and I was aware of that, then I'd wait for her to open up. But otherwise it would just look as though she wasn't interested, and I would probably move on. Link to post Share on other sites
fallendisguise Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 S&W since you've figured out he is a genuine man, he probably walked because he figured you were always going to be emotionally distant. And yes, that is enough to walk away. I just did the same thing myself. It was extremely draining and quiet honestly awful when you feel the other person doesn't care the way you do. But, since I have been in that situation, I can say you probably could get him back. However, it may not be easy. You are probably going to have to open up. I am not sure why you are emotionally distant, so I don't know if that is something you would be ready to overcome. In other words, if you do get this guy back you are going to have to overcome that or he will just walk away again and may be done with the whole thing entirely. Since he stuck around, you know he cares. He tried. I would lay all the cards out on the table and explain why you are emotionally distant and that it may take time for you to overcome that, but you are interested because you want him back in your life. BUT, before you try to get him back, I would ask yourself if you are really ready to be more emotionally available. If not, you could hurt him really badly and possibly yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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