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Friend Confusion!!

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Old 21st March 2007, 9:16 PM   #1
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Friend Confusion!!

Okay, sorry this is kinda long, but please bear with me and read and respond! So there's this guy that I've been VERY close friends with for about 4 years now. I won't go into all the details, but let's just say that I know he finds me attractive and we have fooled around a bit. Nothing ever changed by being FWB and it was never awkward. We have always hung out, esp. alone, and talked about everything.

Most people tend to think that we are dating when they see us together, but we never have, we don't even like talking about it. I know what I'm about to say is going to make it seem like he "wants to have his cake and eat it too" or that he's a player, but I promise that he is not. I know him very well, and he is not a player or a jerk like that. He is truly a great guy, and has always treated me with respect.

So, my problem is that for about the past 10 months we have been several states apart (we graduated college and had to move away). He keeps telling me that I know him so well, or all too well, and says that we have always had this unspoken connection (which I admit we do) and that he misses me so much. Also that we should always tell each other EVERYTHING, except stuff that isn't need to know (i.e. weird bodily functions, etc.)

He's also asked if the guys at my work have been all over me yet and if not they should 'wake up and smell the roses' and asked if I was interested in anyone. Well, the thing is I just found out that he has been seeing someone for a little while now (she 'sparked his interest'). He said that this girl "X" is a nice girl, and that I'd approve of her, love her, and get along with her really well because X and I are very similar. Also that he can't wait until X and I have a chance to meet. Lastly, he said that X is more like me than Y in most every meaningful category (Y is a minor crush from a couple years ago).

So, I know that was long, but what are your thoughts? I know me and him are just friends, and that's really all I expect to be with him, but when we were still in college together I sometimes got the feeling that he liked me as more than a friend. Please don't ask what my feelings are, don't worry about them, please just concentrate on the guy. Thanks soo much!!
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Old 22nd March 2007, 12:21 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2006
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I'm sorry, but if he's dating someone else and encouraging you to date around as well, he doesn't want you like that. You're his friend and confidant, nothing more. It sounds like he may have had feelings for you at some point, since this girl is so much like you, but not anymore.

Sounds like you guys have a great friendship, though, and sounds like he really values that. If it's important to him for you to meet her (and if you don't want to come across as the bitchy competition), I'd go meet her and make nice with her as well.

He thinks highly of you, but you're just not that girl.
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Old 22nd March 2007, 7:29 PM   #3
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Thanks for the response; that's what I thought too. Although it is kinda odd that he kept saying how much "I" would like her, but never once mentioned anything about how HE feels about her, except for the very first time when all he said was that she basically sparked his interest. Anyway, thanks!
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