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i hit my boyfriend. his past is killing me. killing us.


celesten10

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This is a 6 year relationship on/off, for many different reasons and locations. We keep coming back to each other, he says it's true love, i'm not sure what it is, but i can't seem to get out of it. i love him. i don't know how or why, it is destroying everything within me, the jealousy i have for him, i didn't experience it with any others. IT's the number of girls he's slept with during our "breaks", the one thing i cannot handle.

 

The last break lasted 6 months probably (feb-aug), yet we were still keeping contact. He took a month trip to thailand where he just partied his ways around, and then here in our small little summer town.

Today i just found out, during this so-called break, this past summer, He slept with one of the chicks i was socializing with on saturday. Here i am, getting a ride from the girl who had a one night stand with my boyfriend and i had absolutely no clue. She knows we're back together too. I sensed a strange vibe between them. intuition.

 

I began to interrogate about his summer flings and he confessed about "her". According to him: it happend only once, at the beach. "he was drunk and did nothing wrong", "we weren't together". He's begging for another chance, called all day, emailed saying he is a changed person now, matured, and has shown it the last couple of months being with me (which is true). We've been spending time together every single day for the past 2 months, trying to build a healthy relationship, it was going so great.

I still could not bear this new information, i was paralyzed for 10 seconds, my hands were shaking.

 

During our break, i was stupid enough to just sleep with 2 people. certainly not at the same time.

I just can't give in as fast as he can and don't understand how people can. (9 individuals in a matter of 7 months?)

 

We were in my car, i was driving. My jaw dropped. I flipped out, i took my jacket off, and began punching him in the arm, once twice , three times. i wanted to hurt him, but it wasn't the same. i was in such a pungent pain, it was unbearable.

 

I am now so utterly embarrassed to even show my face around town, thinking people already knew this and i was the last to find out. I mean, yes, we were on a break. Yet, I feel i need to catch up somehow, or end it for good, just to mend my heart. But how? i am extremely depressed, i am hurting him, i am hurting myself. i feel this is the end of my true love. help.

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IT's the number of girls he's slept with during our "breaks", the one thing i cannot handle.

 

The last break lasted 6 months

 

During our break, i was stupid enough to just sleep with 2 people. certainly not at the same time.

 

([he slept with] 9 individuals in a matter of 7 months?)

 

utterly embarrassed to even show my face around town, thinking people already knew this and i was the last to find out.

He slept with 9 girls, and you're saying that if he'd only slept with 2 then you're relationship would be perfect? That all your problems would go away if only you both had equal numbers? Everything would be peachy-keen then?

 

From an outside perspective... he slept with 1.5 girls a month. Really not that many.

 

I think if you're relationship is on again, off again.. then maybe it's time to cut the chord. If what he's giving right now is NOT good enough for you to be happy with him, then stop wasting both of your time. It's not about the numbers... you feel betrayed, but can't fault him for sleeping with others without being a complete hypocrite. So you tell yourself it's "the number" of women he slept with.

 

Finding out your partner slept with a chick who drove you home is hurtful. Personally, I wouldn't care if he'd only slept with that one person... I think it's rude for a partner to continue associating with someone he slept with (while on break with you) and then put you in a situation where you have to interact with her one on one. That to me is bogus. I wouldn't care so much about the number... it'd be the WAY that he dealt with our relationship after the fact. And placing you in situations where you're FORCED to see first hand a woman he screwed.............. well... I'd be pissed.

 

But you aren't going to get him to understand what's bugging you unless you understand why you feel the way you do. And there's no way to work on a problem, when you aren't sure what the problem is. Playing "catch up" with sexual partners is not the solution. Unless you enjoy 1 night stands and being treated like a hole.

 

On the flip side.. maybe by him sleeping with 9 other women, he is now completely commited to you, and dedicated to making this the best relationship he can. Maybe it only took you 2 guys to figure that out toward him... but it took him a few more times than it did for you.

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6 yrs.? and still no commitment. You should cut the cord definetly! If he hasn't straightened up by now chances are he never will. Do yourself a favor and find someone else. I know it's hard but you deserve better.. Good luck

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