Guest Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 I've been dating this guy for a month and half and things have been good. But this week... The last time I talked to him was last Sunday and we had a good lighthearted conversation. I haven't heard anything from him all this week. I gave him a call on Thursday to see how his week was going and it went to v-mail so I left a brief message. I found I had missed a call from him the next morning but he didn't leave a message, so yesterday afternoon I left him a message saying sorry I missed your call hope things are good and I'll talk to you later. Haven't heard anything from him and I'm pretty bummed right now and confused. I don't get what happened between Sunday and now... I really want to try him again now because I want to know what's up, but I won't since I just called him yesterday. Don't I have a right to an explanation? Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Stop calling him first off. Apparently, he is not that into you. He seems not to be talking much to you at all. Let him see that you are focused on other things at the moment and not him. I made this mistake 2 times with 2 different guys. Once they stop talking to you for a long period of time you should just give up. One of my ex's didn't talk to me for a week... he called he was finding himself... oh yeah whatever... Then the next ex pulled his famous disappearing act on me 2 times. He fed me some bull**** excuse and I let him come back to me.. Then we dated for about a month and 3 days before my birthday he just up and stopped talking to me. So, I wouldn't waste my time with someone that will not even return your calls. You will never get closure from this situation, you just need to let it go and move on. I know it sucks.. but in the long run you are better off without him. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 I've been dating this guy for a month and half and things have been good. But this week... The last time I talked to him was last Sunday and we had a good lighthearted conversation. I haven't heard anything from him all this week. I gave him a call on Thursday to see how his week was going and it went to v-mail so I left a brief message. I found I had missed a call from him the next morning but he didn't leave a message, so yesterday afternoon I left him a message saying sorry I missed your call hope things are good and I'll talk to you later. Haven't heard anything from him and I'm pretty bummed right now and confused. I don't get what happened between Sunday and now... I really want to try him again now because I want to know what's up, but I won't since I just called him yesterday. Don't I have a right to an explanation? Sounds like he is not intrested, so best thing to do is to just move on from this, stop calling him too. If he is intrested then he will contact you instead, if not then forget about him and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Stop calling him first off. Apparently, he is not that into you. He seems not to be talking much to you at all. Let him see that you are focused on other things at the moment and not him. I made this mistake 2 times with 2 different guys. Once they stop talking to you for a long period of time you should just give up. One of my ex's didn't talk to me for a week... he called he was finding himself... oh yeah whatever... Then the next ex pulled his famous disappearing act on me 2 times. He fed me some bull**** excuse and I let him come back to me.. Then we dated for about a month and 3 days before my birthday he just up and stopped talking to me. So, I wouldn't waste my time with someone that will not even return your calls. You will never get closure from this situation, you just need to let it go and move on. I know it sucks.. but in the long run you are better off without him. I know, you're right... I'm just taking this pretty hard because after some pretty bad dating experiences, I met him and I thought things were really looking up. I've read "He's Just Not that Into You" and "Mars and Venus on a Date" yet I still feel a bit shellshocked. This is going to be hard... Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 I know, you're right... I'm just taking this pretty hard because after some pretty bad dating experiences, I met him and I thought things were really looking up. I've read "He's Just Not that Into You" and "Mars and Venus on a Date" yet I still feel a bit shellshocked. This is going to be hard... It's going to be really hard. You jsut have to stick with no calling him. Then if he does call you don't answer it. Show him what he shows you. I made that mistake in answering the phone after a few days of not talking to my ex. It's like they know you will keep falling for it. I read "He's not that into you " as well. That book makes some very good points but there are some points in the book that they don't come across.. Like a guy can be busy with work and things and might not have every second of the day to call you. Obivously, Since you really haven't talked to him in a week... That shows that he doesn't care about you. He is not even thinking about you... You know what sucks since I have been in that situation more then once. I have to try and talk to my boyfriend everyday because if I don't get to talk to him for a whole day I start to freak out because I just don't want what hapepn in the past to happen agian... but I really don't need to worry about that.. Link to post Share on other sites
GodofNietzsche Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 It's going to be really hard. You jsut have to stick with no calling him. Then if he does call you don't answer it. Show him what he shows you. I made that mistake in answering the phone after a few days of not talking to my ex. It's like they know you will keep falling for it. I read "He's not that into you " as well. That book makes some very good points but there are some points in the book that they don't come across.. Like a guy can be busy with work and things and might not have every second of the day to call you. Obivously, Since you really haven't talked to him in a week... That shows that he doesn't care about you. He is not even thinking about you... You know what sucks since I have been in that situation more then once. I have to try and talk to my boyfriend everyday because if I don't get to talk to him for a whole day I start to freak out because I just don't want what hapepn in the past to happen agian... but I really don't need to worry about that.. I have a question, since I was in a similiar situation. When these two previous ex's of yours weren't calling you, were you not calling them as well? Or were you trying, and they weren't responding? I have an ex that just would never call me of her own volition and after several months of this I got tired. I know I'm the guy, but this is not 1950, and if women want equality, then they must take on equal (or at least balanced) responsibility. One sided relationships get tiring..... Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 I'm a late bloomer, and when I first started dating at 24 I went out with a woman 7 times I think, once every 5 days or so. It took 2 weeks to get an 8th date. 2 weeks went by and she turned down my offers (sick, final exams), and a couple days after those she was then going to go on vacation for 2 weeks. She gave me the dates. It had been 2 months since I asked her out. I was convinced she was blowing me off, and didn't feel I deserved to be treated that way. I responded to her last email "you're sending me some mixed signals. I'd like to talk about it; I understand you're busy and going out of town but it's important to me." 3 weeks went by, she was supposed to have been back in town for 5 days, and I heard NOTHING! Being a naive late bloomer (or not so naive since I figured she was blowing me off), I fired off a "if you didn't want to date me, you could have told me" email, "after all, we work in adjacent departments on campus and are going to run into each other." She didn't know what I was talking about. She persisted she did want to date me and felt my response was a red flag! I learned from this, oh yes, I learned. Bottom line, you don't know what is going on with this man. All you can determine is WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO YOU. His behavior is not acceptable to you. You don't have a right to closure. You have a right to be treated with dignity and respect and if you are not, you end the relationship. You do have a right to ask him for an explanation, but understand, he has the right NOT TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I have a question, since I was in a similiar situation. When these two previous ex's of yours weren't calling you, were you not calling them as well? Or were you trying, and they weren't responding? I have an ex that just would never call me of her own volition and after several months of this I got tired. I know I'm the guy, but this is not 1950, and if women want equality, then they must take on equal (or at least balanced) responsibility. One sided relationships get tiring..... Oh I called my ex's. I just gave up after a certain point. One Ex talked to me on the friday before my birthday and then never talked to me agian after that. I mean it was a move that I really never saw coming... but I should have been prepared for it. Link to post Share on other sites
roxxi Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I have a question, since I was in a similiar situation. When these two previous ex's of yours weren't calling you, were you not calling them as well? Or were you trying, and they weren't responding? I have an ex that just would never call me of her own volition and after several months of this I got tired. I know I'm the guy, but this is not 1950, and if women want equality, then they must take on equal (or at least balanced) responsibility. One sided relationships get tiring..... Hi there. Don't mean to hijack this thread, but I'm new here and actually just posted a message about being in a similar situation. As a girl, calling a guy and not getting a call back (it's been a week now since we last talked) how long do you try or call back before saying it's over? Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Hi there. Don't mean to hijack this thread, but I'm new here and actually just posted a message about being in a similar situation. As a girl, calling a guy and not getting a call back (it's been a week now since we last talked) how long do you try or call back before saying it's over? Well it depends... On my part, One of my ex's didn't call me for a week because he was trying to find himself or some crap... but we talked after that and dated for another month then broke up. So, I didn't give up on him too fast.. I did read your thread... How many times did you call him? How many times does the phone ring before it goes right to vmail? I would call him one last time and just tell him your worried about him and wanted to see if he was ok, and just say no matter what the cause may be please give me a call so, I don't have to sit and worry anymore. If he doesn't call you a few days after that then give it up. Link to post Share on other sites
roxxi Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Well it depends... On my part, One of my ex's didn't call me for a week because he was trying to find himself or some crap... but we talked after that and dated for another month then broke up. So, I didn't give up on him too fast.. I did read your thread... How many times did you call him? How many times does the phone ring before it goes right to vmail? I would call him one last time and just tell him your worried about him and wanted to see if he was ok, and just say no matter what the cause may be please give me a call so, I don't have to sit and worry anymore. If he doesn't call you a few days after that then give it up. I've called him twice. Once last week just calling to say hi, and the other time on Saturday night. It rings probably three times before going to v-mail.... It's possible I guess that something happened to his phone and maybe I should give him my number too just in case he can't access it? I think you're right. I'll give him a call this evening and at least that'll ease my mind. And I need to phrase it in those terms. My previous messages were very casual...perhaps too casual that didn't require a response. I miss him, but probably shouldn't say that right? Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I would just say... Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while... I really hope everythign is ok. Here's my number if you don't have it on you or something ***-**** Just add in ther ethat you would like to hear back from him... That should be good enough. Link to post Share on other sites
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