Jump to content

my boyfriend is 12 yrs younger than me


trulycute

Recommended Posts

i am dating a man that is 12 yrs younger than me..(i'm 36, he's 24).....he is an old 24, an old soul you could call him....i'm a young 36 and do not look my age....we have a lot in common and like a lot of the same things...

 

he's very stable with his place and a good fulltime job and is unversity educated....we have a lot of fun together and talk for hours on end about everything and anything....we enjoy quiet moments and share great pleasure in upcoming times together....

 

this is also a long distance relationship (we live 50 minutes apart)...he treats me like gold, calls everyday and texts, tells me i'm beautiful and always goes out of his way for me....i've never been happier...he is everything that i look for in a man and more....i have yet to even analyze anything about the relationship....

 

and yes the sex is fanastic, we waited a month before we were intimate, we even fell in love with each other before the sexual part happenned.....i love him dearly and i know he loves me too....

 

we both want the same things in life and i would marry him tomorrow if he asked me....i feel like i have finally found what i've been searching for and can now stop looking around the corner and i know he feels the same way....

 

so my question is.......what are peoples opinions on older women and younger men having a relationship?....

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sweet.

 

I was just talking to my bf the other day about how women in their 30's should date 20 year olds so the sex drives would be closer to compatible.

 

Only things I've noticed as a big problem are the issues of marriage and children. Young guys aren't ready. Women in their 30's are usually feeling the time clock winding down. Causes pressure on the relationship. So, I suppose if you aren't concerned about either of those two issues, then the age difference shouldn't be a problem.

 

By the way, if that's you in the avatar.. you look really young. I would've never guessed you to be in your 30's.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Walk.......yes that is my bf and I in the display picture and thank you very much for the compliment......

 

actually we have talked about having children....sooner than later of course...lol...he knows i don't have all the time in the world either, he says he's ready for it though....i already have a 9 yr old but would love more....he had a long term relationship with a woman that had 2 children.....that is another thing we have in common, the fact we want to get married someday and have that family hopefully together....

 

and yes "this" is Sweet...:love:

Link to post
Share on other sites

You love him and he loves you, you two are happy together, GO FOR IT! Don't worry what anybody else thinks. Seriously...Live your life for yourself, not by the expectations of others (friends, family etc).

Link to post
Share on other sites
so my question is.......what are peoples opinions on older women and younger men having a relationship?....

 

If you are happy and comfortable, and he is happy and comfortable, it doesn't matter what other people think about your age difference. They don't walk in your shoes, and life is a long walk; your shoes should be comfy!

 

Good luck in your happy future together!

Link to post
Share on other sites

RE:

 

Trulycute,

 

Beautiful picture. Remember, finding a man who is in-sync with you is a gift.

 

Love Prevailed. Savor the coming years -and be happy.

 

Best Wishes,

Sand&Water

Link to post
Share on other sites

Can I ask how long you have been seeing each other? I hit it off with a younger co-worker at my former workplace and we lived together for 4 months but like another poster mentioned the marriage & kids thing was not even vaguely on the cards - he's 22 and I'm 29 - we've recently broken up / are having a break. He has some issues to sort out and so our relationship couldn't progress till he does so. I'm not sure what is yet to come but if I do continue to see him on a long-term basis, I'll need to be sure in myself that if I miss out on marriage (a second time) and motherhood it, isn't something I'll particularly be crushed about. It is really energizing (sex aside) to be with a younger guy - mine brought a sense of fun to my life because I was beginning to become especially bitter and jaded about life after a divorce and string of go-nowhere relationships for the past 5 years. Who cares what people say - your happiness is what counts the most and I tell you - this little s@#t who I am having troubles with at the moment really pierced this seen-it-all, done-it-all's heart that's for sure! I miss him heaps at the moment :) All the best to the both of you!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think if both of you are fine with your relationship, then, don't pay attention to others. A friend of mine shares the same situation as yours - he is 23 and she is 36 - they are happily together but friends and the family pass comments here and there - they are all fine with. So, prepare for the best and the worst like in any other relationships.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

we've been seeing each other for a couple of months now.....we have talked about living together, getting engaged, babies, getting married--all that stuff, actually just this wknd we both agreed that if things do progress as well as they are now then the above things would obviously happen.....

 

he's wonderful and in my eyes gorgeous b/c of the his inside too....he's romantic and just amazes me everyday with his wisdom and knowledge...no matter where we are (whether walking together or in bed sleeping) his hand always finds mine.....he says that almost everyday he has to pinch himself b/c he can't believe that this is all real...

 

my mom always said i would know when "he" came along, and i "know" now.....lol..its funny too i've been engaged twice before and came close a few other times but have yet to feel this way about someone...we both agreed that the "honeymoon" stage for us will always be there and i believe that to be true.....

 

i feel free and alive more than i ever have before....i wish everyone could feel this way too...i wish this for everyone!....

 

THANK YOU to everyone who responded to me, i appreciate all the postings....you guys are great!!....some of my "friends" who i hate to say may be jealous have said that this is just a sex thing and a fling....that's offense to me and i just ignore the negativity and will make a note not to invite them to the wedding...lol...

 

i like the saying that someone said.."life is a long walk, make sure its a comfy one"--how true that is...

Link to post
Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah
so my question is.......what are peoples opinions on older women and younger men having a relationship?....

I see nothing wrong with it. Just like if a 20 year old girl was dating a 32 year old man, I see nothing wrong with it because they are legally adults and can make their own descisions (others will probably dissagree with that). So you and your guy are both old enough to make your own descision.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I see nothing wrong with it. Just like if a 20 year old girl was dating a 32 year old man, I see nothing wrong with it because they are legally adults and can make their own descisions (others will probably dissagree with that). So you and your guy are both old enough to make your own descision.

 

While I agree that I see nothing wrong with the original posters age and her BF's age.. Someone 20 years old cannot sign a legal document without their parents or legal guardian.. So buying a house as a couple is out.. so is buying or doing anything as a couple that requires a legal signature..

 

 

i am dating a man that is 12 yrs younger than me..(i'm 36, he's 24).....

 

I personally use the 10 year rule.. growing up watching the same cartoons is a gauge that I use.. basically meaning that we have enough in common to make it thru the long haul.

 

At your age now though what do you think he will want out of life when you are 45 and looking older ( you cannot be ageless ) and he is 33 and starting to really look good as men seem to look more distinguished at this time ?

 

He will be getting the eyes from women in their 20's.. Do you think he will be the type that will stick it out for the better good ?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

i have thought about when we are much older and i honestly can say that i have no worries about him looking at or checking out women in their 20's--he doesn't like women in their 20's now and absolulety not women his own age--just not on the same level as him...he's 24 in age but not in mind, he's much closer to the 30's.....

 

i think he will still think i'm hot (his words) as i get older and he falls even more in love with me....women also live longer too so i think it'll be all good....if i'm everything he wants in a woman and more then he's not going to be looking elsewhere....

 

btw Art Critic, love your saying, "One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else"..so very very true

Link to post
Share on other sites
i have thought about when we are much older and i honestly can say that i have no worries about him looking at or checking out women in their 20's--he doesn't like women in their 20's now and absolulety not women his own age--just not on the same level as him...he's 24 in age but not in mind, he's much closer to the 30's.....

 

i think he will still think i'm hot (his words) as i get older and he falls even more in love with me....women also live longer too so i think it'll be all good....if i'm everything he wants in a woman and more then he's not going to be looking elsewhere....

 

You have only been dating him a couple of months and it is a LDR.. You can't fully know what he is really like or what he will be like in the future ?.. You don't even know him yet...

 

Just spend your time getting to know him right now..Don't worry about your age.. and by all means keep your eyes open.. you already are looking at your relationship thru rose colored glasses.

I'm not saying you guys aren't meant to be together.. just give it time..You both have a whole life time that you have lived before meeting to show each other all about..

Link to post
Share on other sites
love your saying, "One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else"..so very very true

 

Thanks.. I think it is soooo true too..

 

Good Luck with your guy..and don't worry about the age.. 12 years isn't that much of a gap that it won't work out...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Older woman/younger man? No biggie!

My ex husband was 6 years younger than me... and we had great chemistry.

 

It's not about age, it's about the connection. I'm 36, and I have always dated younger men. It really isn't a big deal.

 

If he's mature- and he has his crap together, there's no reason to not be with him!

Don't fixate on the age- it truly doesn't matter.

D

Link to post
Share on other sites

wow a couple of months and u guys are talking about getting engaged and stuff? ur still in the honeymood phase..just give it a couple months and u'll start to get to the people underneith. just dont jump to the absolute conclusion that he's the one. thats the mistake u are making, not the age. get to know him better and then discuss marriage and children.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it is only natural to have discussions of children and marriage in the early stages, you both want to be sure you're on the same page, right?

 

I also think it takes at least a full year to get past the masks we all tend to wear in the beginning. We tend to be on our best behavior when we are with our SO and living together before marriage is a great way to see the real person behind the mask.

 

I would be especially careful with a fairly big age difference, but I still think it can work and damn the torpedoes launched by those who aren't involved in your personal relationship. Make them all eat crow.;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to be honest with you. I have went through seveal periods in whih I am very attracted to older women. The sex is great, they are more mature, etc. I truly, at the time felt I loved these women. I dated some for over a year.

 

Now I am 31. I think of myself at 41. Do I want to be with a 55 yr old woman? or a 35 yr old woman at that age. That is a 20 year swing. No way do I want a 55 yr old.

 

I feel it is fun, and should be enjoyed for what it is, fun. Sometimes people have to throw in the "love" to make things even more fun. But to be honest, A 24 yr old man cant be a father to a 9 yr old, and want to marry a 36 yr old. he doesnt know what he wants. Right now he is thinking with one head...

 

 

 

 

i am dating a man that is 12 yrs younger than me..(i'm 36, he's 24).....he is an old 24, an old soul you could call him....i'm a young 36 and do not look my age....we have a lot in common and like a lot of the same things...

 

he's very stable with his place and a good fulltime job and is unversity educated....we have a lot of fun together and talk for hours on end about everything and anything....we enjoy quiet moments and share great pleasure in upcoming times together....

 

this is also a long distance relationship (we live 50 minutes apart)...he treats me like gold, calls everyday and texts, tells me i'm beautiful and always goes out of his way for me....i've never been happier...he is everything that i look for in a man and more....i have yet to even analyze anything about the relationship....

 

and yes the sex is fanastic, we waited a month before we were intimate, we even fell in love with each other before the sexual part happenned.....i love him dearly and i know he loves me too....

 

we both want the same things in life and i would marry him tomorrow if he asked me....i feel like i have finally found what i've been searching for and can now stop looking around the corner and i know he feels the same way....

 

so my question is.......what are peoples opinions on older women and younger men having a relationship?....

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

yes we have discussed marriage and children b/c we want to see if we are compatible in that area--a very important area.....its not going to happen tomorrow though, but someday in the future....of course i agree its very important to discuss such serious issues at the beginning, need to know where the other one stands....

 

whenever someone is happy, there will always be naysayers.....but the way i look at it, i'm happy, he's happy and that is very hard to find nowadays....so why not enjoy it for what its worth and take each day as it comes.....

 

we have both had serious relationships where we have lived with other people so we both seem to know what we want in a SO...

 

thank you to everyone for the nice compliments and encouragement....

 

yes it has only been a couple of months, but how long does it take for a couple to see that what they have is worth the long haul and there's a future there?....every couple is different....we do live 50 minutes away but we see each other 3 times a week, and every other wknd we spend the whole wknd together and the opposite week, we stay over one night (b/c of both our work schedules) and we communicate everyday...

 

i don't think i am seeing this relationship through rose colored glasses, we are very open with each other and he has had no walls up at all, he was the first to pursue me for a relationship and to tell me he fell in love....and b/c of his patience, kindness, and love i was able to fall too....he has more maturity and consideration then most men that i know that are my age....

 

we are taking our time and not rushing into anything and looking at all the things that are involved in a serious relationship....i'm not sure if he's the one, only more time will tell me that...all i know is that he's with me right now and this is absolutley wonderful and i'm so staying here with him to see where it can go....

 

oh and to the guy who thought that my bf was my son....not sure if that was an insult to me or to him?.....that's okay though, i'm sure other people think that too...no wonder people look at us when we're holding hands in public, and i thought it was b/c we're so cute....lol....

Link to post
Share on other sites
so my question is.......what are peoples opinions on older women and younger men having a relationship?....

 

I'd first ask you a question. Why would you care what anyone else's opinion was? I can't blame you though, I've asked the same question here before. I don't see the age thing as a big deal at all. Ten years or a little more to me is fairly minor. The only point I'd bring up is the fact that you have a child already. I'd wonder if at some point, a couple years down the road, he might think he's gotten into more than he should have. One minute he's a free single guy and the next he's married with a child right off the bat. Please don't think I'm trying to offend you. That's just me. Some guys may not care.

 

Side issue. I'm a guy just a hair older than you, and since I'm single with no kids, I'm only interested in women who are the same. These days I rarely find a single woman over 24 who does not have kids, so that means I pretty much hang out with girls 18-23. It's funny how everyone says there's a double standard when it comes to age differences, that older guys and younger women are fine but the reverse is unacceptable.

 

I've posted here on LS about asking out a girl who was 20 and I was 28 years younger and poeple acted like I was a monster or something. And they were all women. Then, in following threads one of the biggest critics mentioned that she was in her late forties and dating a guy in his late 20's! Double standard huh?

Link to post
Share on other sites

trulycute...my current BF is 26 and I am almost 31 (I also have 3 children - thats right three - 13, 10 and 8). We have been together just over a year and our relationship has only gotten better and stronger. I realize that your age difference is greater but really...who cares...if you're happy and he's happy then don't let anyone else interfere.

Initially I let the age difference thing become an issue for us but then I decided why bother?? This man makes me happier and more alive than any other relationship ever - including a 10 year marraige.

No matter what the outcome I will be better for have experienced this and I would never trade that for the world.

Good luck!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...