Ladies: All first dates, no second dates

[socialight]

I understand a willingness on most people's parts to go on first dates with a wide range of people, just to see what's out there.

 

But what does it take for a women to go on a second date?

 

I am stuck in a huge rut now, getting all first date and no second dates. It's pretty bad, I have gotten second dates 4 times on 12 of the first dates where I wanted a second.

 

I don't do anything creepy, I act like gentleman, I pick up the tab, I call a few days later . Nothing, zilch.

 

So what do you look for --- what has to happen to be willing to go out a second time? Does it help when, after a good 1st date, you don't hear from the guy for the next 48-72 hours? Be honest!

 

Clues please, I obviously need help!

[HeadlessZebra]

I don't know, are you boring them to tears?

[socialight]

no, definately not. Good amounts of laughter, hair flips, usual body language. I can say with confidence that I am a good date, fun person, good listener, etc all.

[Waldin]

no, definately not. Good amounts of laughter, hair flips, usual body language. I can say with confidence that I am a good date, fun person, good listener, etc all.

 

ohh really so you are a good date?!.. can help me... co's i have a date?! sir?!!

 

what tips you give me...

 

thanks

[Krytellan]

I guess it's possible they just dont find you attractive either physically or emotionally (or God forbid both). *shrug*

[moman]

You're probably trying too hard....girls can pick up on that and lose respect for you.

[DanielMadr]

I understand a willingness on most people's parts to go on first dates with a wide range of people, just to see what's out there.

 

But what does it take for a women to go on a second date?

 

I am stuck in a huge rut now, getting all first date and no second dates. It's pretty bad, I have gotten second dates 4 times on 12 of the first dates where I wanted a second.

 

I don't do anything creepy, I act like gentleman, I pick up the tab, I call a few days later . Nothing, zilch.

 

So what do you look for --- what has to happen to be willing to go out a second time? Does it help when, after a good 1st date, you don't hear from the guy for the next 48-72 hours? Be honest!

 

Clues please, I obviously need help!

 

Could be playing hard to get...pretty common, especially if you are good looking and a catch. Try them a few more times.

 

Kiss them after first date...if they hesitate, you are 90% out for sure.

 

Could be bad luck (all serial daters) or you are not that entertaining.

[DanielMadr]

You're probably trying too hard....girls can pick up on that and lose respect for you.

 

Yep, thats the biggest obstacle of dating. One sign of weakness (nervousness, open heart, too kind) and you are out. Be more laid back and dont try to be funny too hard.

[Pyro]

I understand a willingness on most people's parts to go on first dates with a wide range of people, just to see what's out there.

 

But what does it take for a women to go on a second date?

 

I am stuck in a huge rut now, getting all first date and no second dates. It's pretty bad, I have gotten second dates 4 times on 12 of the first dates where I wanted a second.

 

I don't do anything creepy, I act like gentleman, I pick up the tab, I call a few days later . Nothing, zilch.

 

So what do you look for --- what has to happen to be willing to go out a second time? Does it help when, after a good 1st date, you don't hear from the guy for the next 48-72 hours? Be honest!

 

Clues please, I obviously need help!

 

You are just not her type. She probably didn't feel the chemistry. Don't take it personal. You can't expect every single girl you date to want another date. The same thing applies to us all.

[Meggedy]

Maybe the 48-72 hour thing is throwing you off. If I had a really good time on a date, I would be psyched if the guy called the next day, just to tell me the same thing. All these rules are crap. If you were into her, call her the next day. I promise you that she will not think you are weak, insecure, or whatever else guys think we think (unless she's incredibly shallow and a complete and utter waste of your time). By 3 days later, I am figuring the guy isn't going to call, and if I liked him, I have already started to "get over it," convincing myself that it wasn't that great after all. By the time he calls, I'm lukewarm at best. Try ditching the "rules" in general for a few dates and see where that gets you.

[Art_Critic]

I think you are picking the wrong women to go out with.

 

Just because a woman says yes doesn't mean she is right for you..

 

You need to be more discriminating and pick women that fit you better. by the way that is what dating is all about.. finding who you are compatable with by dating and making adjustments.

 

It now is time for some adjustments..

 

Are you picking these women by their looks first ?

 

I read your other thread on this same subject..and posted on it as well.. it doesn't seem to be anything you doing.. just the wrong women you are picking.

[Art_Critic]

Does it help when, after a good 1st date, you don't hear from the guy for the next 48-72 hours? Be honest!

 

don't use the 3-5 day rule.. that only works if the woman is dating other guys at the same time as you.

If she isn't then she thinks you don't like her.

 

If you have a good time on a date don't be afraid to tell a girl that either the next day or the day after..

[Meggedy]

You're probably trying too hard....girls can pick up on that and lose respect for you.

 

I swear, no disrespect, but this entire concept is so incredibly wrong. Unless you're dealing with an immature (and I use the term loosely, I'm in my mid-twenties) woman, we are done chasing you. We want to know you're interested in us. It does not turn us off when you are interested in us and not afraid to show it. I PROMISE. There is a fine line, though. Showing your interest - calling the next night after a great date and scheduling another one. Trying too hard - calling every night and then starting to stop over, and then sending her flowers, and....you get the idea. And it doesn't creep us out because we don't like hearing from you, getting flowers, etc - it creeps us out because we're afraid that you're a stalker. That's when we lose respect for you. When we begin to question your sanity, not when we think you're actually trying. We respect you for trying as long as you don't go batsh*t on us.

 

The chances are much better that these women are blowing you off because you tried really hard to appear as if you weren't trying at all - Mr. Cool - rather than them picking up some "weakness" because you actually show that you like them.

 

My theory is that some (very smart) man made this concept up at some point in time, and disseminated it to the men's media, which has brainwashed you guys into believing it. That very smart man, who knows better than to listen to his own crappy advice, is the one getting all the ladies, because the rest of you well-meaning gents are still buying into this.

[moman]

I swear, no disrespect, but this entire concept is so incredibly wrong. Unless you're dealing with an immature (and I use the term loosely, I'm in my mid-twenties) woman, we are done chasing you. We want to know you're interested in us. It does not turn us off when you are interested in us and not afraid to show it. I PROMISE. There is a fine line, though. Showing your interest - calling the next night after a great date and scheduling another one. Trying too hard - calling every night and then starting to stop over, and then sending her flowers, and....you get the idea. And it doesn't creep us out because we don't like hearing from you, getting flowers, etc - it creeps us out because we're afraid that you're a stalker. That's when we lose respect for you. When we begin to question your sanity, not when we think you're actually trying. We respect you for trying as long as you don't go batsh*t on us.

 

The chances are much better that these women are blowing you off because you tried really hard to appear as if you weren't trying at all - Mr. Cool - rather than them picking up some "weakness" because you actually show that you like them.

 

My theory is that some (very smart) man made this concept up at some point in time, and disseminated it to the men's media, which has brainwashed you guys into believing it. That very smart man, who knows better than to listen to his own crappy advice, is the one getting all the ladies, because the rest of you well-meaning gents are still buying into this.

 

Nah, you just read the wrong dimension of my post. He is probabaly trying too hard to be likable instead of being HIMSELF.

 

There's nothing wrong with showing interest and wanting to be with someone. It's wrong when you lie/exaggerate to get a girl to like you and many people do that. I've done it a time or two to disasterous results.

 

The best way is to be yourself, be calm/cool/collected, and see what happens.

[Meggedy]

Nah, you just read the wrong dimension of my post. He is probabaly trying too hard to be likable instead of being HIMSELF.

 

There's nothing wrong with showing interest and wanting to be with someone. It's wrong when you lie/exaggerate to get a girl to like you and many people do that. I've done it a time or two to disasterous results.

 

The best way is to be yourself, be calm/cool/collected, and see what happens.

 

Gotcha. On this, you're absolutely correct.