Did sex ruin it for us?

[Grace68]

I've known this guy for 3 years. He used to be my boss. He moved out of state last year and recently moved back. One of my friends ran into him and he told her he was going through a divorce. I contacted him to tell him I was sorry and we began emailing, texting, talking on the phone for hours, I would hang out at his house, he was at mine, etc. He started talking about things we would do together, meeting his parents, meeting my parents, etc. One night one thing led to another and we had sex. He seemed perfectly fine the next morning, but then things seemed to hit a brick wall. He was in a bad accident and hurt his leg severely. He was on major pain meds and slept basically for a week straight. He called me the Friday before Thanksgiving and told me that since he'd missed a week of work he really needed to play catch-up at his new job. He said he felt he was being unfair to me because he needed to spend all his time catching up and that maybe we should have waited to get together until after the holidays and things at work had settled down. I didn't hear from him again until Thanksgiving day when he sent me a few text messages. I haven't heard from him since. I sent him a text message yesterday telling him hi and that I was thinking about him. He didn't respond. Can someone tell me what's going on here? I refuse to chase him and I'm giving him as much space as he needs. I'm not sitting around waiting for him to call and I'm trying to stay as busy as possible. Am I doing the right thing? Also, his divorce won't be final until the first week in January---she filed. Could this have anything to do with it?

[konfuzd]

Sorry hun, I know you have feelings for this guy, but simply put you are his rebound and he's not even divorced yet.

 

It's really easy to fall for all of the things he is telling you, but I think he's really just looking for someone to take over the affection he was not getting from his soon to be ex wife.

 

I'm not saying that there is no chance for you to form a relationship, but he's got a ton of stress in his life, a divorce and a serious accident!!! He may be fishing for a relief to this stress, which you offered up to him, but without any time for him to heal physically and emotionally, you will never know what his true feelings are.

 

Let him contact you in his own time, if you do care for him, don't add more stress to his life by demanding his attention.

[Grace68]

So, if I totally "disappear", will he think I'm not interested or should I even care at this point since he has so much stuff going on?

[konfuzd]

Sorry to be so blunt here, but you can't expect to be a priority in his life with all the other things he has going on.

 

There is a chance that he is just using you to help him through tough times. There is also a chance that he does want a relationship, but the truth is that it really is beyond your control, and there's little you can do to influence his frame of mind.

 

If I were in your situation, I'd just carry on with my life, maybe drop him a line once in a while, just to tell a funny joke, or something lighthearted to let him know you're thinking of him, but don't bring up anything to do with a relationship, or asking why he hasn't contacted you or anything of the sort. Let him come to you in his own time, if that is what he wants.

 

Good luck, I wish you the best, but don't have any expectations at this point, it's the only way to avoid dissapointment. Trust me, I know from experience. I've been the rebound girl before, and it is not a fun place to be.

[Green]

who cares if he has alot of stuff going on, just let him know how you feel and leave it at that, and ask to know if you can expect to be seeing him