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dating for 4 years...

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Old 31st October 2006, 1:54 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 27
dating for 4 years...

hi, i donno how to start this actually..

i have been dating this guy for 4 years, the first 2 years was fine and i can tell he likes me and he do have feelings for me.. but i think i have make things difficult for him, throwing tantrum to him, cos he always keep a distants to me and don't really communicate with me more.

i don really know are we consider an item, sometimes he said that i am his friend, and sometimes he said i am his lover. things getting worst this year, ever since he started his new job, he told me that i am somebody to him and he needs me to be with him to get his new job. everything is the other way, he don't call me so often as before, and don't really wanted to go for a trip with me anymore.

he never said he loves me during this 4 years, so do i. but deep down, i do love him very much. i never tell him cos i am just afraid that i will scare him away from me, yet the situation now seems like he don't really care abt me anymore. he keep saying that i am a great friend to him, and i mean the world to him.

i have a friend wedding dinner over at HK on 1st jan, and i asked him to company me to HK, i know he wont attend the dinner with me, ibut i hope he can go HK with me to have fun there, i will go to dinner myself. then he said "why would i go to the wedding dinner with you?" what does he means??? is this very clear that he have no feelings toi me at all? all the things that we do together are casual? he did text me "you are starting to be a pain" what is this?

i am very sad that he said that to me... and i decided to text him that i have falling in love with him long ago, but he didnt respond to my text at all! its been almost a week, there is no text, no email, and no calls from him... does it means that we are over?

any idea why he react like this? i totally lost... i really love him deeply.
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Old 31st October 2006, 8:39 AM   #2
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I hate to be the one to say this...

People tell how their feeling through words and actions. If he isn't saying the words, then their actions will tell you. In this case, he's saying he doesn't want to be with you the way you want him to. From what you posted, I would say the guy doesn't see you as anything other than a casual friend. I think you two stopped dating 2 years ago, and he neglected to tell you back then.

You sound like such a sweet girl too. I hate to see someone getting hurt like this. But I honestly believe he doesn't love you. His text message about being a pain in the ass was probably his way of saying you were asking more from him then he wanted to give. ie: be the bf he was supposed to be. I don't feel he wants to be your bf, so he's trying to tell you that there isn't anything there.

I think you should just call him, tell him you can't see him anymore. Save yourself the heartache. End things with him. Free yourself to find someone who is going to love you fully. Who isn't afraid to show you all the love and happiness you deserve. Dating someone shouldn't be about having to hide your feelings for 4 years. You've been waiting a very long time for someone to love you, don't you owe it to yourself to find that? (this guy isn't it.)
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Old 31st October 2006, 12:37 PM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 27
thanks walk!

i think you are right... but there are certaints things i dun get.. why is that he don want to stop everything when he realise that he don want to have a thing with me?? why is that he is still kept doing bf gf things with me? his mood is keep changing depends on his day...

i have been trying stop myself from falling so deep, but no help.. no matter how bad he broke my heart everytime, i will take him again the next time he call me... i did wanted to cut contact with him, but i can control myself to contact him again..

its been a week that he never call, think he will not call me again becos of my "love sms"... but if he do contact me again, do you think i shd answer? i kind of know he will say "hello, hows things, just call to say hello and see how you are doing." i will happy that he call me, but i am sad cos he treat thing so casually, like nothing happen...

its so hard to let go and get over. always have a little hope deep down, hope that he will change his mind one day. do you think he will?

thank you so much Walk.
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