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What are his intentions?


Dayna3d2

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Let me start by giving you some history...

 

 

This guy has been in a relationship for 3 years, live in for one, and the just broke up 3 weeks ago. She moved out because he slept at my house... (nothing happened, I live down the street from a bar and he was too drunk to drive so he slept on my couch.)I also recently stopped seeing someone.

About 6 months ago when I met him there was clearly a mutual intrest. They had broken up a few days before that so we didnt act on it becuase I was sure they were getting back together. He agrued that they wouldnt and that he wanted to be with me...i told him to wait, they got back together.

 

 

This time seems different. He stops by to say hello on his way home from work, sends me messages to say good morning and good night. And we have had pleanty of cuddley nights on the couch. We havn't slept together because I told him I wanted more than just a bootycall. When I ask him about her he says he can't promise that they won't get back together but he doesn't think so. I think thats why he doesnt mind waiting for sex. He's also very sweet...tells me Im beautiful and how he can't get enough of me and misses me when Im not around. At first I thought it was just sweettalking to get laid but if he doesnt mind not having sex what is he after? Is he actually that into me and just taking time to move on from her...or I am just a fill in for affection untill they get back together?

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I would say that this theory:

I am just a fill in for affection untill they get back together?

 

has many clues that strongly support it, such as this:

he says he can't promise that they won't get back together

and this:

He agrued that they wouldnt and that he wanted to be with me...i told him to wait, they got back together.

 

I think you yourself have a very strong grasp on what he is up to. The fact that you did this:

so we didnt act on it becuase I was sure they were getting back together. He agrued that they wouldnt and that he wanted to be with me...i told him to wait,

 

You know what you are about. You understand the situation. I think your theory is bang on. Dont fall for it.

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Thank you for the advice. I think us hanging out like we are will be alright for awhile, i just wont take it to the next level physically. Thats when i tend to go head over heels I i think in this situation i will be getting myself in too deep.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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She showed up and said she wanted to work things out. All i got was a text message saying that he didnt know what to do. I ran into him later that night at a bar and he said he was sorry he hadnt called and that he just didnt know what to say but that he didnt want to do anything to upset me. I told him it was too late and that i was angry. he came back with the i love you baby and you're so beautiful comments. Like an idiot i fell for it, again, only to find out the next day....after not getting a phone call...that she had moved back in.

Yesterday morning he called but when i answered he hung up. He called back later that evening and said that he cares about me more than anyting in the world and that he just can't be with me "right now" but that he wants to be "friends." I told him that there are too many feelings involved and that I can't see how that would work when I know damn well that i want more. I havnt heard from him since.

Was I wrong to say that? It's killing me not having him around even as a friend but i give in to him far to easily and i know somehow i will end up the girl on the side and i cant handle that. This whole thing is making me an all around miserable person...i want to call him so bad but i need more than half of him.

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I know you care about this guy, but he's playing you hard. If you don't feel you have the self control to not be sucked in by him, then stay far away from him. (that isn't a slight against you.. I don't have the self-control in some situations to do what I know is right.)

 

Honestly.. he hung up when you answered cause his gf walked in. He couldnt' call till later when she'd probably gone to bed, or she was doing something else. He has no intention of leaving this girl. And he's doing her a greivous wrong by allowign her to believe he is fully committed to making his relationship work. How could you ever trust a man like that? Even if he was with you, how could you know he wouldn't do the same to you? Telling you to your face that he loves you, while telling the other girl the same thing.

 

Call him up and tell him to leave you alone, or you'll tell his gf everything. If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have gotten back together with the other girl. He doesn't want you... he wants to use you.

 

And if I were the other girl. Call me and tell me what's going on. I never want to be so ignorant of something like that. To think my partner is really trying to work things out, but really he's using me as a security blanket that puts out. Seriously, if you ever get in a situation where I'm the "gf", give me a call and let me know what the scumbag I'm dating is doing behind my back.

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