polynesiagirl Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 I had a very good friend who happens to be married. We both are doing night classes at a local community college so we spent time studying, etc together. We would email each other 1 time a week, and see each other 2 times a week on average. We had a very good relationship and I think we were close, but not in an appropriate way. Well I went away for a holiday and now I am back my friend has distanced himself from me. He wont talk to me like we used to. He will say hi, but he always says that he is busy and has to go. I had class with him the other night and he talked to all of the girls except for me. I have asked him if anything is wrong and if I did something, but he says that he is busy. The other night we were hanging with friends and he went to say bye to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I went to touch his arm and he pulled his arm away before I could touch him. Its like he doesn't want me to touch him. I don't know what I have done, especially since he wont tell me. I am sad to loose a good friend. We have bee friends for 1 year now. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Do you know his wife, or does your wife know about you? Perhaps he was starting to develop feelings for you, perhaps his wife now has a problem with your friendship, perhaps it has nothing to do with you. If you have even the slightest feeling that your friendship might be causing him problems in your marriage, I suggest that you don't insist trying to ask for explanations - you already have a very good one, and you know it has nothing to do with anything wrong you might have done. Otherwise, ask him again what is going on. If he won't tell you again, tell him that if he wants to distance himself from you it's okay and there is really nothing you can do, but feel free to remind him that not giving you an explanation or telling you why is very immature and is surely not what a friend would do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynesiagirl Posted September 8, 2006 Author Share Posted September 8, 2006 I really don't know what is up with my friend Tonight I saw him (we hang with the same group of people), I sat down with my friends and didn't know whether to say hi, so he comes up to me and squeezes my toe, the rest of the night we didn't talk, when I left he came and gave me a hug and then told me it was good to see me. I didn't know how to respond so I hugged him and said it was good to see him too but I pulled away from him. I was hurt when he started acting like he did, and I don't know if I should allow him to be close with me again. I want friends that are consistent, and I know where I am with them. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I was hurt when he started acting like he did, and I don't know if I should allow him to be close with me again. I want friends that are consistent, and I know where I am with them. He'll probably stabilize. It might be that's he's developing feelings for you that he doesn't want to or knows he shouldn't. If he's developed romantic feelings toward you, he may just want those to "cool down." They won't cool down if he's spending much time with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynesiagirl Posted September 8, 2006 Author Share Posted September 8, 2006 thanks 4 the 2 who have given me feedback. I suppose now I have 2 get used 2 a new type of friendship and or association dynamic. I'm not gonna push the issue with him and let things b. should i let him be my friend, or allow him into my area of trust? i think ill play it safe & keep away, & keep him @ arms distance. Am I immature 4 feeling like this and not wanting friendship? i dont want 2 b hurt, honestly i am hurt by this. & once some1 hurts me i push them away so im not ever hurt again. Link to post Share on other sites
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