Jump to content

What do I make of this????? (WTF Part Deux)


SoCalCatman72

Recommended Posts

SoCalCatman72

Briefly:

 

If you confess your feelings to a girl, and they tell you that they are not interested, then a week later they are no longer avoiding you, and in fact seems like they want to be around you, but they are acting very nervous and fidgety, does that mean they may be having second thoughts, or am I just reading way too much into it.?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude, Ask her what the F is ^... Tell her she is acting strangely and call her out on it.

 

How old is this woman??

She is acting like a teenager.

 

She needs to get her crap together.. All the head games, all the body language and she is eating your Large Chocolate bars and not replacing them espcially when she doesnt ask.:lmao:

 

She seems to be playing head games with you and she needs to stop it if you and her are going to co-habitate under the same roof..

 

Damn I wish I had her email addy.. lol.... the woman needs to get her womanhood in check, get her head straight, and be open and honest and stop with the dang games.

 

I think you need to call her out.. Don't let this go on for as long as you did the last one.. Tell this woman that she is messing with your head by her body language, her looks, her behavior and even the way she talks to you...

 

If she just wants to be friends and roommates then tell her to start acting like it..

 

Take control of this situation and get it in order before it falls apart more.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
SoCalCatman72

Pada, you are so sweet.

 

I was hoping you would respond, you always tell it like it is :) . Yeah, I agree, she's my age, but from what she's told me in prior conversation, she's been really badly hurt by many of her prior relationships. In some ways, I think she's a bit suprised that I handled the situation like a man, and not an emotional child.

 

Oh well, IMO, I wrote the letter, she declined. The ball's in her court.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Darling.. It's driving you nuts.. You can't focus, You can't concentrate. Your on high alert regarding everything about her....

 

Dude, you're procrastinating again... STOP IT..

If you leave the ball in her court you are going to turn yourself into a nervous wreck...

 

Grab your kahokneis again and tell her to straighten up her shyt because she is making the house tense....

 

You opened yourself up in your letter and now SHE is the flake who is acting up. Tell her to get her act together because its making you uncomfortable...

Link to post
Share on other sites
destination_unknown

If i had turned down my roomate for a romance I might be a little nervous for a while afterwards, i.e. conscious of not touching them in coversation/passing and trying explicitly not to give them "signals" - she's probably just nervous about not leading you on. I'm sure once she see's that your not going to be leaving candy/teddies/severed heads outside her door she will be ok. Once she see's that your cool with you guys not hooking up. If its still akward after a few more weeks I'd just say to her - "Hey <insert name here>, i hope were still friends after my mad moment declaring feelings for you! " I guess, kinda make a joke out of it and let her know you are ok with being friends.

 

Hey what happened with the Korean girl you met online? (think it was a korean girl you mentioned anyway!)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
SoCalCatman72

Hi Destination.

 

Well that's the thing, it's not awkward, but it is a bit wierd. Oh well, I'm not going to lose sleep over it, I've lost too much already from the preceeding fiasco.

 

The Korean girl must have got scared or something. She wrote me and said that she was not renewing her account or something like that.......whatever, I think I was just too much man for her to handle. :p:cool:

 

It's ok, there's still the girl at CVS, though she's only 19 :eek:, and the girl at Starbucks who always tries to talk to me, but keeps getting interrupted by customers needing their decaf nonfat lattes. :laugh:

Link to post
Share on other sites
If i had turned down my roomate for a romance I might be a little nervous for a while afterwards, i.e. conscious of not touching them in coversation/passing and trying explicitly not to give them "signals" - she's probably just nervous about not leading you on. I'm sure once she see's that your not going to be leaving candy/teddies/severed heads outside her door she will be ok. Once she see's that your cool with you guys not hooking up. If its still akward after a few more weeks I'd just say to her - "Hey <insert name here>, i hope were still friends after my mad moment declaring feelings for you! " I guess, kinda make a joke out of it and let her know you are ok with being friends.

 

Yep. I agree.

 

Probably nothing more than some lingering awkwardness on both of your parts.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
SoCalCatman72

Hey guys, thought I'd drop an update :cool: .

 

All's good, no more acting strange. We had some nice, light conversation. I made a couple of yummy steaks :D , watched TV and she went to bed. I decided to test the waters by casually mentioning the 19 yr. old cashier at CVS while discussing my quitting smoking (I broke down and bought a pack today, but tomorrow's a whole new day). She said I should ask her out :p

 

I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and despite the kind advice, I've realized that I don't want a woman who plays games. I know she's intelligent enough to know where I stand (duh, I gave her the letter), and that those type of feelings can be ignored, but they don't dissapear overnight. Furthermore she knows that I admire her strength and courage as an woman determined to take on the world on her terms (it was in the letter) and now that the ball's in her court, it's up to her to make a decision. I say it how it is, and I don't play games and I'm definitely not going to chase a bone for someone's amusement or reassurance. I've always had respect for her, and I respect her statement that she isn't interested in me, unless she tells me otherwise. As my favorite line goes;

 

"I want a woman that, when and if the world goes to hell will be in the trenches with me, loading magazines and bandaging wounds, not worrying about her makeup bag and why her cell phone won't work"

 

So guys, that's it. I've promised myself there will not be any more roommate threads on my behalf.

 

On a positive note, the past 4 months of working out are paying off. My shoulders are actually wider than my belly and I can see the shadow of a six pac :D :D :D gives me a great boost of confidence, gonna go out and turn on the mack....oops gotta get rid of the old pickup first :p.

 

Thanks so much all you who have supported me through this, and given me such kind advice and guidance, especially pada, otter and enigma.:love:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks so much all you who have supported me through this, and given me such kind advice and guidance, especially pada, otter and enigma.:love:

 

Ah Thanks SCC for the acknowledgement..:love:

I had a difficult time posting during this time, as my posts were being moderated, BUT I'm back and will do my best not to get anymore infractions.

 

I do hope she stops with the awkward actions. It's very frustrating to feel like your getting mixed signals... Games sux.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
SoCalCatman72

Ok, so I wasn't going to beleaguer this subject any more, but right now I'm so angry I can't think straight.

 

I got home from three days of volunteering as a camp counselor yesterday afternoon, had a couple of beers and went to bed as I've gotten about a total of 12 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. At about 9pm, I'm awakened by a knock on my door, so I get up, get dressed and go downstairs, where she's standing in the living room. I say hi, ask her if she was knocking, and before I can say another word, she starts going off about how my cats peed on her mattress, and that I need to replace it before I leave. (the bed I'm sleeping on is one of hers, I have my own bed, but she didn't want to move this bed out of the room I moved into, so I put my bed into storage and have been using hers).

 

So I went into my room and looked at my bed. The sheets and comforter were fine, so I lifted them up and yeah, there was a stain on the mattress. However the sheets were fine, so this must have been an old stain, and the only way one would see it is if they were to have lifted up the comforter, sheet and mattress pad.

 

I'm just standing there in shock, and the thoughts running through my mind are in this order;

 

1. WTF were you doing poking around in my room??!!

2. WTF were you doing lifting up my sheets??!!

3. Knowing that I was asleep, and that these camps do not allow for any significant amount of restful sleep, why did you decide to wake me up to yell at me about this, as opposed to leaving a message, a voicemail, a text mail, an e-mail, or anything that wouldn't have disturbed my precious beauty sleep.

4. I am a responsible and clean roommate, I have always paid rent and bills in a timely manner. My checks to her have never bounced. I spend a good deal of money every month, of my own free will, keeping the fridge stocked and household supplies on hand. A mattress would be about $300 - $400 max, and you have no viable reason to believe that I cannot or will not pay for a replacement.

5. Cats are cats and accidents happen, in fact when your cat peed on your bed, as I recall I took your comforter into the laundromat and sat there for over an hour washing and drying YOUR freaking comforter out of the goodness of my heart!!!!!!

 

So, being sleep deprived, suffering from a bit of a head cold, and angry, I just said "ok" and went back to bed. Now this morning, I am furious. I have always respected her, her feelings and her privacy, and I get treated like garbage.:sick:

 

It's just a classic case of boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy confesses feelings to girl, girl rejects boy, girl thinks she can walk all over boy because he has admitted to having feelings for her.:mad:

 

I'm so frustrated, currently considering looking for a new place to live.:mad:, and have put the cats in my room so she can't find another excuse to yell at me. I'm going to buy a lock for my room this afternoon.

 

Sorry for venting on you guys, thanks for listening.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't take this and run with it, man!

 

Take soem days to calm down and tell her that you know she wanted to tell you this stuff but that was really not the best time to tell you. Maybe she could have been more considerate and waited until you had had some sleep. That really was a bitchy thing to do.

 

If she stays in bitch mode, then I would consider finding another place. It does seem weird, though. Weird weird weird.

Link to post
Share on other sites

So you moved into her place?

 

If so, it might explain why she still feels at liberty to continue treating it as her home and property and consider you a 'guest' in her domain. Not that she has the right to go snooping through your personal space (looking for boogie men, paraphernalia, the condition of her things, or God knows what), but I suspect it might be the result of her becoming increasingly more uncomfortable with the guy she's sharing her home with. Especially since she's already voiced her concern about your drinking and/or possible relapse (???)… and lets not forget that tiny little issue about you admitting to having more feelings for her than just a platonic roommate.

 

I could be wrong … but if I could imagine being in her situation, I might be feeling suddenly nervous and vulnerable (if not painfully awkward) about the guy I was sharing my place with.

 

How long have you two been roomies? :confused:

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
SoCalCatman72
So you moved into her place? If so, it might explain why she still feels at liberty to continue treating it as her home and property and consider you a 'guest' in her domain.

 

Well, it's an apartment, and I pay almost half the total rent for a room that's about 10' X 12' and my own (unattached) bathroom, which also doubles as the guest bathroom. I responded to an advertisement for a roommate, so if she thinks that it is her home and despite the fact that I pay rent, have a roommate contract that states "individual privacy will be respected", we might have some legal issues at hand regarding me being a "guest" in "her domain", besides which, she has the right to serve me with notice for any reason or no reason at all. However I didn't see anywhere in the contract that she has the right to invade my privacy.

 

but I suspect it might be the result of her becoming increasingly more uncomfortable with the guy she's sharing her home with. Especially since she's already voiced her concern about your drinking and/or possible relapse (???)… and lets not forget that tiny little issue about you admitting to having more feelings for her than just a platonic roommate.

 

Ok, so why would she be so dammed uncomfortable then? About the drinking/relapse, well when I moved in, she had her (former) boyfriend over every night, I mean EVERY night, and we would stay up for hours drinking, when she broke up with him, she suddenly decided to stop drinking at home every day, and I guess for some reason I'm supposed to do whatever she does??????!!!!!!. Relapse fears, c'mon. I've been clean 23 months, (2 years 14th of next month), show no signs of relapse, and she knows how much I hate that old lifestyle and the people who come with it. I really suspect that the e-mail about supposed fears of relapse was just an excuse to find out where I was that particular weekend. I mean a guy staying out one night, does not constitute a relapse. And the "tiny" issue about feelings, well I thought that was over and done with. We agreed to forget it, I thought we were doing quite well overall, (see Aug 16th post), and I thought this girl was mature enough to be able to take things at face value. Which is a non issue at this point because after last night the only feelings I have are frustration, dissapointment and feeling violated. It's not like I have any porn or sex toys in my room, in fact I think I live a pretty clean life.

 

I could be wrong … but if I could imagine being in her situation, I might be feeling suddenly nervous and vulnerable (if not painfully awkward) about the guy I was sharing my place with.

 

How long have you two been roomies? :confused:

 

I've been giving her plenty of space, getting up early and going to work before she is up. Not staying up all night talking to her, or even waiting for her to get home. I've been keeping myself busy with ministry and my life, and moving on emotionally. I'm not in any way acting sad, pathetic, wounded, pining, begging or anything else, just giving her space and being a good roommate.

 

We've been roommies for 5 months prior to this being an issue.

 

Oh well, I'm referencing mattress prices online, and I'm going to leave a cashiers check for her tonight. I've fired up my roommate finder profile and am just going to go with the flow.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I've been giving her plenty of space, getting up early and going to work before she is up. Not staying up all night talking to her, or even waiting for her to get home. I've been keeping myself busy with ministry and my life, and moving on emotionally. I'm not in any way acting sad, pathetic, wounded, pining, begging or anything else, just giving her space and being a good roommate.

 

And, maybe, right there you have the problem? :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
hardcharger7

After she said she wasn't interested in you, did you start to ignore her?

 

I told a girl that I liked her and she said she wasn't interested, and after I told her sometime after that I was no longer interested in persuing her, she then had become interested in me, a few weeks later. After about 2 weeks she was persuing me.

 

I had defintiely made a mental note of this, for future reference.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
SoCalCatman72
After she said she wasn't interested in you, did you start to ignore her?

 

No, I simply decreased the frequency with which we were within sight of one another. When we did have a few moments together, we talked and whatnot as usual.

 

Regardless, last night I got an e-mail apology, which after a few e-mails back and forth, I said that we needed to talk face to face, gave her my schedule, told her I was sick, took some medicine and a Jack & Coke and went to bed.

 

9pm, get a call, she says she's not available at the times I said were best, so could we talk now. I'm pretty woozy, but I agree to talk anyways and stumble downstairs (advantage roomie). She said that she was just checking on the mattress. I clearly stated that I didn't want to be in a position where I was going to get walked on because I was open about my feelings. She seemed confused, brought up the letter, said she didn't want to talk about the letter.

 

I think this whole thing is an ideal candidate for Occam's Razor - All things being considered equally, the simplest solution is usually the correct one.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...