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Ex-Guy Friend behavior


SweetMisery

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SweetMisery

Okay so I know this guy from Highschool-College for years but we only recently started hanging out as friends 3 years ago. Through the course of our friendship we have problems. Different perspectives on how the friendship was defined. How I thought he should behave how he thought I should. I felt he wasnt giving enough and we didn't get each other. So through the course of the friendship we would often say it was over only to have one of us reestablishing contact and we would become friends again. I guess our main thing is we are different in everyway possible. We are both stubborn and him more so. Anyway, we decided to end the friendship back in sept bc I confronted him with some things that people were saying about how he had some issues and I needed to stay away from him. It seemed he liked to have complete control over the friendship.

 

He seemed hurt and he kind of twisted things around saying that after all this time he was shocked that I didn't know who he was and how he never ever mistreated me. He was basically playing the misunderstood victim card. I felt bad for having not given him the chance to defend himself but at that point he was so defensive he wouldn't listen to me. He said our friendship was over.

 

So at this point I was majorly confused. Was he bad for me or just misjudged? I decided that I needed to give my friend the benefit of the doubt and tried to email him on a few occassions telling him that I was confused and remembering some good times with him. After no response and one drunken call I finally decided that it was best I move forward with my life. I guess I just felt that it was mostly my fault for the problems we had over the years bc he really worked me emotionally with him being the victim. what I felt was always small to what he felt. I had betrayed him by discussing our problems with my girl friends and writing in a journal about my struggles dealing with him. I guess that was worse to him compared to how he hurt me.

 

Anyway after about 4 months of not talking on the phone and a couple emails that I sent him about accomplishments in my life. He sent supportive replies but still reinterated that we couldn't be friends. But an occassional email from me now and then would be fine bc hed still like to hear about my life.

 

Well finally it sunk it with me. The friendship needed to be over bc I wasnt going to settle for telling someone about me life if we were not friends.

So I sent no response and slowly and surely deleted everything that reminded me of him.

 

However, a month ago I got an email from his brother invited me to see him play. I knew he was going to be there but I opted to go to show support for his brother. So I went we saw each other and he was there with his gf and such and we didn't speak. Now nearly two months have passed and yesterday afternoon on my way home from work the phone rings. I thought it was a family member and didnt want to answer while driving.

 

But it was him. So I called back. Got vm. I was brief saying I was returning the call. Didn't ask for a call back.

 

Well I got a call this afternoon from him. When I answered he was friendly saying hey and said he wanted to see how I was? Does this sound like a call an ex-friend would make? As the convo continued I was more confused. He asked me a million questions and when I was brief with my answers he asked more trying to provoke a more detailed response (conversation). His tone confused me in a way he sounded happy and in other way he sounded like he was drunk or tired. This was about 4 in the afternoon. I was polite though bc I was just shocked. I was trying to process the call.

He just wanted to hear all about me. So the call basically freaked me out bc I don't know what it means?

 

Any ideas? Why would he call after so long?

 

I was trying to figure out how to answer his questions. He was firing them at me. Ultimately I was the one that had to end the convo bc he kept wanting to talk. This is completely out of character for him. He's always the first to say good bye. But I explained I was at work still and he said he didn't know that, and I just sort of said bye. I didnt know if I should say that I would call him back or what not.

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whats wrong with me

seems to me that he saw you (wherever his brother was) and now wants to be in your life again.

 

Can you handle all the drama of that guy? if not dont call him back

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