Jump to content

In between best friend and roomate!


Recommended Posts

Here is the story in a "nutshell" :rolleyes: :

 

My new roommate moved in the city at the end of july. At the time I was not in town, so I asked a couple of friends to meet her at the airport. After 2-3 weeks, I came home just to find out that things were not going great between my closest friend and my roommate. They had not known each other before and I knew that they wouldn't be very close friends, as they have very different personalities. So, I wasn't that surprised.

 

Then, my roommate, being very bad at interpersonal relationships did some stuff that pissed off my friend, who then started acting distant towards the roommate. My friend lives close by, so we take the same bus to school. When all of us meet on the bus, they don't talk to each other and I don't know how to behave! Who do I talk to?!?!?

 

We sometimes go to grocery shopping together and apparently my roommate thought that my friend wasn't friendly to her at all. I think she feels left out since I spend more time talking to my friend when we are all together.

 

I don't want to have this too long, so I'll fast forward: last week my roommate started acting weird to me. She wasn't talking to me at all. One time, she was having breakfast and I was preparing myself breakfast, I tried to talk to her and she just replied with a one-word sentence and that was it. I started getting pissed off at her, because I really hate when people act like that. I also thought it was out of blue because nothing had passed between the two of us. So, a couple nights later, I ask her if she has any problems with me and reluctant to talk, she says "Yes and no". I very kindly approach her and she tells about it. So: she is mad at my friend for not being friendly. She claims that my friend doesn't even say "Hi" when they see each other on the bus for example (which I don't think is necessarily right). She doesn't really know why my friend acts the way she does and she thinks that she has done nothing wrong to her. She also thinks that I am "not totally faultless but may be like 30% faulty" (!!!!!) because I have not done anything to stop this. So, I tell her that they are two adults and this is something between the two of them and I am not directly related to it, hence I will not do anything about it. But I tell her that we can call my friend and then they can talk about their problems while I sit in my room. She says that even if they talk they can't resolve their issues because she doesn't want to, since she believes she has put up with it enough. But she says that she's curious to know why my friend acts this way. I tell her that I don't know the details but even if I did, I wouldn't tell her because I don't want to get involved with their problems.

 

I talk to my friend too, she says that if I want her to talk to my roommate she would do that. I tell her to wait a little bit to see how things go with my roommate.

 

Since the talk, things have been going well between me and my roommate. Well, up to tonight! I had dinner (out) with my friend, she wanted to use the bathroom in my place, I say fine. My roommate happens to be at home. My friend says hi, rommate just nods. When my friend was leaving she says "bye" and so does my roommate. After my friend leaves my rommate comes and asks me if I have talked to my friend. She says "So what did she say?" I tell her that she would come and talk to her if she wanted that. She says "But what did she tell?" I ask "Do you want to know why she behaves like that?" She says "Yes". Then I tell her that if she wants to know that she should ask her, not me. I tell her that I do not want to carry words from one to the other, I don't want to feel "in between" the two of them. She pushes a little bit more, I get really annoyed and I finally convince her to talk to my friend.

 

So, now I will talk to my friend to set up some time for "the talk".

 

Thanks for reading thus far. :) So, the question is "What do I do now?" What if the thing gets ugly during their talk? Suppose they decide not to talk to each other again and we all meet on the bus. What do I do? Who do I sit next to? Who do I talk to?

 

Oh, I hate this thing so much! Why can't people act like adults? Why is my roommate putting me through this?

 

Thanks in advance for the replies!

 

P.S. I read through my post and it sounds like they are teenagers. Well may be knowing that one is 25 and the other 26 would help!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Well, sorry about that! But the situation is a little bit complicated, I didn't know how to explain it with fewer words.

 

In just a few sentences, the situation is:

 

My rommate and my best friend don't get along and my roommate is trying to push me in between the two, thinks that I am also responsible because I have not done anything to sort things out. They are going to have a talk tomorrow. What if things get ugly, what do I do? I don't want to choose sides!

Link to post
Share on other sites

hmmm i read ur summed up version. reminds me of a problem i once had when i had two friends and they secretly didn't like eachother and only told me. I just acted like whatever and let them settle it. eventually i lost one friend and kept the nicer one... mainly cuz he was a jerk.

 

just keep quiet and let them duke it out themselves. its not ur battle...

 

bring popcorn and some coke... sit back and enjoy. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...