So maybe it's partly my fault...

[Pronto]

I'm new to this kind of thing, but here it goes...

 

I've been best friends with this person for a couple of years now. We used to do a whole lot of things together, and all that jazz, until I would say December. I noticed we were kind of drifting apart, and I really didn't want that to happen. So, I had a talk with a close friend about it, and they told me to accept things as they are for now. You know, settle for just friends, since he probably has other things on his mind. Now, I don't usually handle these kind of situations well, and this is when things kind of got worse. I took their advice. When I passed him in the hallway, I looked down at my feet. I don't know why, I just did. I have some insecurities, I guess. Whenever he'd come to talk me and another friend of mine, I would pretend I was sort of distracted by work. I guess that was all my way of giving him space, and it didn't really work. Not to mention the fact that I really regret it now. All it did was probably made him not like me anymore, because now he's ignoring me. We share a lot of the same friends, too. So, you can only imagine how bad I feel when he comes to talk to them, act as if I'm not there, and so on. Then again, that was what I sort of did, but I didn't do it because I didn't want to be his friend anymore, it was because I thought I was giving him the space he needed. The real reason I'm writing this? Well, a couple of nights ago, he asked a friend of mine to tell me how sorry he was, that he was being a real jerk, it wasn't fair to me, and blah blah. This was all on AIM, and I guess he couldn't work up the nerve to call me or something, but I guess that was the second best thing for him. This is what really gets me, though. Next day at school, I'm sitting with my friend, we'll call her Jamie. He comes over, and starts talking Jamie. He completely ignores me, and I'm left really upset. The friend on AIM did tell me not to get my hopes up, and that actions speak louder than words. Mind you, I trust this friend a lot, and I can say with confidence she wouldn't lie to me about something like that. It's been a couple of days now, and no sign of improvement really. I kind of regret the way I handled it, but like I said, I don't handle these situations well. I can't even work up enough nerve to say anything to him alot of the time. What do you guys think I should do? Should I go ahead and approach him myself? Or not? If so, how should I go about doing that?

[jonny87]

Hey, I'm really sorry that this is obviously upsetting you so much. It sucks when friendships change and seem to be ending. I'm in a very similar situation.

 

I was friends with a girl at work for two years and then we tried to start dating. It didn't work out, and I almost (probably have) ruined our friendship by the way I acted afterwards. We don't work together anymore, and we don't really talk to each other anymore. Last night we talked on AIM for the first time in a long time. It was a pretty short conversation.

 

Sorry for hijacking your thread there!

 

My advice would be to just talk to him face to face. It sounds like you two have been communicating through other people rather than each other. That's never a good thing. If the friendship is valuable to the both of you, you'd talk to each other about it. Don't let it escalate to the point where there's resentment on both sides. I think that's where I am with my (former) friend. And it sucks.

 

Just talk to him.

[Pronto]

Haha, it's okay. Thanks for the advice!

 

He actually called me the other day. He asked me why I have been ignoring him, and I told him why. Telling him all that made me feel great. He apologized, and we had a lovely conversation. The next day, he came up to my locker and we talked. He invited me to the movies, which was last night. I thought it was going to be just me and him, but it wasn't. It was with him and his friends. I know these people, but I'm not friends with them or anything like that. It's not that I don't like his friends, it's just that I don't think we have anything in common. What kind of scares me is that they seem to have waaay more in common with him than I do. So, we're at the movies, one of his friends, Ashley, she's all over his arm and all that stuff. Honestly? I felt sort of jealous... Did it show? Hah, I hope not. At least, I don't think so. It was seriously awkward for me, though. I don't sit by him in the theatre because I guess I wasn't as pushy as those other girls...but eh. I didn't want to seem desperate for his attention or anything. I wanted to keep my dignity by the end of the night...Lol. So, here I am, kind of off to the side thinking what the world I'm doing there. After the movie, we went to this bookstore. That was when I kind separated myself from the group and looked at some books. Then here he comes to talk. He wanted to know why I was quiet the whole night. I was surprised he noticed. I told him there was no reason, but really? It was because I didn't want to compete with these girls for his attention. I kind of regret not telling him that. It was just that we came out of this rut not too long ago, and I don't want to go back to us ignoring eachother again. I just want things to be like the way they used to be. Where's that great person I met a couple of years ago? We never used to even have these problems...I guess I'll think about what I'll say Tuesday. Any more advice would be appreciated, guys. Really.