I Lost A Dear Friend To Brain Cancer Today!

[greyskies]

This woman was the most awesome person I have ever met and when I met her a little over a year ago she was healthy and happy and living life to the fullest. And as I got closer to her I started noticing things that I didn't see in the beginning. Like she just stopped taking care of herself and she started acting a little stange but I thought it was just her and that I was getting to know her more and more as we hung out. But these strange behaviors got worst and worst. But I just didn't even think she might be sick.

 

Well like 3 weeks ago she had a really bad headache and they did a MRI and found massive brain tumors that they said they could not do anything for her that it was to far gone. Well she was just her old self for a few days but then each day she got worst and had lost some of her sight and memory was almost gone and she reverted into a little girl at times. They said she had 3 months. But she died 3 days later. It is so hard for me to believe this wonderful lady is no longer here. I feel so selfish for wishing she had not died. Had hung on just a little longer. She wanted to go on a picnic and I wanted to do that with her. But I was to late. My heart is broken and I feel like a part of me is gone. She inspired me and mentored me. Now she is gone. Thank you for listening. RIP Vicki G.

[Juliet]

My Step mom went through the same thing. She had a severe headache and started slurring her words. My dad thought she was having a stroke so he brought her to the hospital. They did a MRI or C-scan and it revealed cancer. They thought it spread from another area of her body because brain cancer is so rare.

 

Well after all the tests nothing could be found. They decided to operate. She had 2 tumors so they removed the largest one. It turned out she had the most aggressive form of brain cancer.

 

After the operation she was not the same. The cancer location was in her speach center of her brain. She reverted back into a child at times. The steriods they put her on to reduce the swelling caused so many health problems for her aswell.

 

We only saw glimpse of who she was here and there. They sent her home from the hospital like that! I think 2-3weeks had past since the operation when she died. She died the day of her radiation appt...She never lived long enough to receive her first treatment.

 

This was the end of August. The vase of birthday flowers I bought her out lived my Step mom for weeks. I have been trying to support my dad ever since but it has been hard on everyone. She was in our family for 20yrs. The grief comes in waves..it's horrible. My dad is doing better now. We still are in shock though..it happened so fast. It's hard to absorb. I know what you must be going through.

 

I know it hurts and seems so unfair:( I am so sorry..

Chin up and be strong hun.

[933KJL]

I just lost my mom to Alzheimer's last Monday so I know how you are feeling. Keep your chin up as Juliet said and be thankful that she was a part of your life and know that you were a good part of hers--no matter how short.

 

Be thankful that she did not suffer and know that she is at peace. Never forget, but I am not sure that dwelling is the answer. Mourn the loss, remember the good, and move forward with the memory of your friend. A friend of mine (David Uosikkinen)was in a band called the Hooters back i the 80s (and yes LS Mods, I do have permission) and he wrote a beautiful song that I actually had him record for my mom. It helped me, maybe it will help you--I think it is extremely beautiful.:

 

See the stars that shine and give us light

One less star is in the sky tonight

Words alone won't keep our tears away

But I know that star will shine again someday

 

And heaven laughs when we say good-bye

It ain't so far to the other side

Someday soon we will meet again

Say it over and over and over 'til then

 

Dream tonight about a last embrace

Close my eyes and I will see your face

Dreams alone won't keep our tears away

But in my heart I know we'll meet again someday

 

And heaven laughs when we say good-bye

It ain't so far to the other side

Someday soon we will meet again

Say it over and over and over 'til then

 

And so we laugh when we say good-bye

It ain't so far to the other side

And heaven knows we will meet again

Say it over and over and over again

 

From everlast to everlasting

From sea to shining sea

How much did we take from each other

Here's one from the heart and more one for free

 

And heaven laughs when we say good-bye

It ain't so far to the other side

Someday soon we will meet again

Say it over and over and over 'til then

 

And so we laugh when we say good-bye

It ain't so far to the other side

And heaven knows we will meet again

Say it over and over and over again

 

Say it over and over and over again...

[greyskies]

Hey thank you so much I am still hurting but I know in time it will get easier. I am just beating myself up because I had the oportunity to se her before she died but said I was going to go this week-end up there and she didnt last that long. I feel so bad about that. What can you do but regret it forever. huh? The song was beautiful thank you for taking the time to send it to me.

[933KJL]

Do not regret not seeing her. Remember her for the way you knew her. I saw my mom just a week before she died and was not able to get back to FL when they said she had stopped eating to be with her, bu I know she knows I cared and that is enough for me!

[HotCaliGirl]

I am sorry you didn't get the chance to take your friend for a picnic greyskies, and Juliet, your sudden loss of your stepmother sounds very tragic, I wonder if she would've lived longer without the invasive operation which on top of the cancer was something she had to also recover from...and 933KJL the recent death of your mother is also sad, but the song lyrics are beautiful.

 

It reminds us of how fragile life is and it could go at any time with little or no warning. My favorite relative got engaged to a wonderful man a couple of months ago, then 2 weeks ago she found out she has pancreative cancer with very little time left, a shocking blow to all of us as she has been very healthy and so full of life and now we don't recognize her. It is comforting that we are not alone going through difficult times. I too regret not doing things with my relative, she'd always ask me to go places with her but my schedule has always been full and I rarely took the time out for her which I now regret and it makes things harder...

[quankanne]

this is a very sad post to read, and you all have my sincerest condolences on the loss of your loved ones.

 

it's been almost two years since my mom died, and from time to time I'm struck with regret that maybe I could have done even more to let her know how dearly I loved her. But unless we ask point-blank ... and because we understand separation is imminent, we really can't ever know if someone understands just how much we do love them. The biggest hope we cling to is that those times we cherish and hold so dearly to our hearts will have given them the same joy it's given us. And that's something we've got to hope in, otherwise we become eaten up with regret – if your mom, and your stepmom, and your friend, and your relative are anything like my mom ... well, that's something they definitely wouldn't want for us.

 

as KJL says, "Mourn the loss, remember the good, and move forward with the memory of your friend." Because I believe that when all that is said and done, the love you've shared with that person will shine through everything else.

 

hugs to you all,

quank

[greyskies]

I have written hundreds of post on here and I have gotten a somewhat supportive answer some completely ignored. And I'm glad that hasnt happened this time cuz I truly need to deal with this pain.

 

I cant stop crying I think of the good times and the fun and laughter. And I cry because they are gone forever. This women was so special she sent me hundreds of email in a little over a year letting me know she thought I was awesome and jokes and words of wisdom. I learned a great deal from her and I know she will be watching over me from heaven. I am just sad because its not like we knew she was ill she just got a headache and then gone like that. It scares me to death. I panic when I get a headache now and if someone else gets one. How can a person go so long without knowing they have cancer in their brain. Before its to late?

[HotCaliGirl]

I panic when I get a headache now and if someone else gets one. How can a person go so long without knowing they have cancer in their brain. Before its to late?

That's the scary thing about cancer - in most types, you don't know you have it until you start experiencing the symptoms, and usually when you start experiencing the symptoms, it is already in the later stages. For example, pancreatic cancer my relative got diagnosed with - it is almost impossible to diagnose until you start experiencing pain there to get it checked out, at which time few make it past six months the most. Same with colon cancer, by the time the person starts experiencing the symptoms, it is in the later stages with a bad prognosis and may have already spread elsewhere.

 

The best thing to do is to enjoy life while we have it and not worry about the shortness of it. You are fortunate to have met your friend. In the short period she was in your life, you learned a lot from her and I'm sure your friendship was a comfort for her in her last year. Try to see the positive side of the experience, that is the only way you will have hope and be able to deal with the pain...At least you got to have her long enough in your life to exchange all those emails and form a bond and relationship with her, which is something special you can keep after she is has left.