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How do Guys, get rid of Guys who seem like Obsessive friends?


circusfood

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i'm 28, have an "sort of friend" who is bugging me. Were both guys.

 

BASICALLY....we're not super, super, close friends....We went thru a similar

situation over a year ago, where Both of our girlfriends Broke up with us.

 

Since I knew sorta knew this dude (thru my ex) and we both had been hit with break-ups and our girls were hanging out with each other and going off on some "i'm still young, I don't want to settle down, Keep My options open" kind of trip, me and this dude started hanging out more...going to a few concerts together, talking about our break-ups, trying to understand why, I let him crash on my couch, since he had no place to stay, after the break-up, i was an ear to hear his problems..(even though, i could see why she left him....) He bought me a cd or two, as a nice gesture, bought me dinner for letting him crash on my couch, etc.

 

Long story short, I don't have TONS in common with him, He can be kind of a jerk, but is a "talker" and always blabs about how he loves to help the community, how he lives by strong morals, How he's a caring person, A Love your Brother kinda guy, How his new girl is so much better than his Ex, etc etc. (he still talks about his ex, a lot. Why talk about it, i've already moved on...)

 

His personality is very ABRASIVE at times and he cracks jokes and insults at the expense of others, way too much. That's just his way. Not sure if it's a defense mechinism for being self-concious or what. It get's VERY annoying. He's just a loud, obnoxious, nosey, busy body kinda guy.

 

SO ANYWAY: I don't like him around my friends... or around my new Girlfriend. All he does is make fun of them and he just acts like a jerk, but always says he's just Joking. He likes to get all buddy buddy with my friends and make fun of my girlfriend to be funny to her face and just try and be The Life Of The Party.

 

I sort of stopped calling him over 7 months ago, but he always calls (ALWAYS) and asks to hang out or grab dinner etc. He always asks to go on double dates too. Sometimes I blow it off, make up a story or I'll just give in and go hang with him.

 

Recently he had been calling A LOT and I didn't call him back. His last call he said, "Yo Brotha i want to hang, Cuz you know, You're still my brother, so I'm going to call everyday until you call me back, cuz i'm annoying like that so, yeah, give me a call yo!"

 

I just want the dude to get a clue, but I don't want to hurt his feelings...For some reason he really feels like were best buds, And maybe that's my fault for helping him out or for hanging with him way back when, but I just don't care for the guy, he's not "Friends for life" material. I haven't called him back and that was 3 weeks ago, he hasn't called since..yet i still feel like a prick at times, for not calling him back..

 

Am I an a**h*** for not calling him back or ignoring him?

I don't owe him anything and he doesn't Owe me anything.

But at times i feel like a pu$$y for not manning up and just

telling him to take a hike.

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Am I an a**h*** for not calling him back or ignoring him?

I don't owe him anything and he doesn't Owe me anything.

But at times i feel like a pu$$y for not manning up and just

telling him to take a hike.

 

No, you're not an a-hole for not calling him back. The guy just sounds like someone not worth your time.

 

If you tell him to take a hike, he may not understand why, and he may ask you to explain. You'll have to prepare for that. You may also have to prepare for his offer to change, and then you'll have to decide whether or not you still want to hang out with the guy.

 

Me, I'd just avoid him, tell him I'm busy with my new girl, job and so on, and not feel a bit of shame over it. Eventually, he'll get the picture.

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I tend to be straight up. I think he's just clueless as to how he acts. I'd approach him and tell him, "hey, you're a dick. I don't like you all that much. You treat my friends like s***, as well as my girl. If you want to hang out with me, you're going to have to stop acting like a dick, or find yourself someone else to hang with....bro."

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i'm 28, have an "sort of friend" who is bugging me. Were both guys.

 

Am I an a**h*** for not calling him back or ignoring him?

I don't owe him anything and he doesn't Owe me anything.

But at times i feel like a pu$$y for not manning up and just

telling him to take a hike.

 

If you say you must be an A$$, then I suppose you are. Bro, this isn't a girl where you have to be careful with words. He's a man, just tell it how it is.. along the lines of : "Bud, there's a lot of things I don't like about you, I don't think we should hang around that much." He sounds like a psycho, so be careful, this is the only way to go besides ignoring him.

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