patooks Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Hi All. Got a situation. A bit of a long read, but it's doing my head in and would like others input. A Married client at my work sent me a message on FB about 1 week ago, I had no idea who it was at first until I saw her name. She said along the lines that she was looking to make new friends, and branching out and though it seemed stalkerish she wanted to be Friends. I was taken back a bit and said ok, no problem. She said we could take her and my Dogs for walks etc, which sounded good to me. Nothing seemed out of the norm, we took the Dogs out and met other people a few times. We text most nights, just getting to know someone better, nothing out of the norm. Well a few days ago she messaged me saying she had something awkward to tell me, I wasn't sure what she was going to say. She told me her Husband had threatened to leave her over our convos, which there was absolutely nothing bar Friendship in them she said and def only Friendship on my part, he has low self esteem and was seeing something there that wasn't, he eventually came around she said. So she said if she could see me that night and see how I felt about it all, so I said ok, we spoke for like 45 mins she said their relationship was a bit rocky ( Love life not great etc , they have 2 young Daughters ) I thought it was all sorted after that. Then tonight I get a message from her saying she needs time to focus on her Family and doesn't want to drag me into her problems and she needs to self heal and will be offline for awhile and appreciates the offer of Friendship ( she messaged me out of the blue about it Friendship first ) and she thought all was sorted but it isn't. I found out she's in her mid 20's ( married for like 4 years now ) I just turned 40 if that matters, and she also said her Husband has only reacted like this about me maybe because I'm single, her other male Friends he has no problem with, is she a tad bit crazy maybe ? Any input I'd appreciate. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Delete her from FB. Go back to being professional & work. She's more then a tad bit crazy. Why would a women jeopardize her marriage to befriend a single man almost old enough to be her father? This had red flags from the outset & you needed better boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I kind of feel like she's just trying to get out of the prison her husband has put her in and thought maybe having friends would help, and that maybe she was just desperate and that's why what she did was odd. I hope she has someone close she can confide in. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 You were being groomed for an EA and probably a PA. Run away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 You were being groomed for an EA and probably a PA. Run away. This^^^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Whatever future interactions you may have with her, keep it confined to the workplace and not outside of it. It's entirely possible that her marriage is indeed rocky, but it's just best to leave her alone. Her husband may not just have low self esteem, he could be jealous and possessive. Engaging in a friendship with anyone married can always be risky, so be on guard. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 What? She couldn't make a female friend? is she a tad bit crazy maybe ? Chances seem high. Keep your distance and assume she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author patooks Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 I forgot to add she wanted to catch up with me yesterday at the Dog Park, I agreed. When I met up with her, she said her Husband doesn't want us interacting anymore, she even said that their love life is non existent at the moment. And he's in a way controlling her, telling her who she can be friends with and what not. He's going to counselling at the end of the month and she said she doesn't know what will happen then or after. She's a cool person, nothing has suggested to me she's into me so I'm not sure what his problem is, as I haven't done anything to suggest I want her either. So until things are sorted she wants a no contact rule apart from seeing me at work, she's not happy about it, but she doesn't want to anger him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 (edited) I forgot to add she wanted to catch up with me yesterday at the Dog Park, I agreed. When I met up with her, she said her Husband doesn't want us interacting anymore, Yet here she is meeting up with you at the dog park. She sounds like trouble to me. she even said that their love life is non existent at the moment. I hope you told her that that is between her and her husband and that you should be dragged into their bedroom (figuratively of course)? And he's in a way controlling her, telling her who she can be friends with and what not. Well she is making him paranoid and concerned about the condition of their marriage. She is overstepping romantic relationship boundaries with you. He's going to counselling at the end of the month and she said she doesn't know what will happen then or after. Is she seeing a therapist as well? Perhaps that would be a good idea because the "trouble" vibe is wafting off of her. She's a cool person, nothing has suggested to me she's into me so I'm not sure what his problem is, as I haven't done anything to suggest I want her either.She sounds like trouble. Her husband asked her to keep her distance from you and the first thing she does is asks you to meet her? pffft. Trouble! So until things are sorted she wants a no contact rule apart from seeing me at work, she's not happy about it, but she doesn't want to anger him anymore.Good! Now, IMO you should keep her real and when/if she asks to meet you again, tell her you don't think its a good idea and you don't want to be in the middle of their marital drama. Edited June 12, 2019 by Beendaredonedat 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 Just cut off any non-professional contact. You don't need the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 So she's miserable, but she hasn't left him. So I imagine she's looking for someone to take care of her and monkey branch to before she has the nerve to leave him for whatever weakass reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 She's looking to you as an escape from her issues with her marriage. Her husband is right to be bothered, she wants an EA at the very least with you and likely would be willing to take it further. Why are you still meeting with her or texting with her? My guess is it's an ego stroke to have a younger woman pursuing you. Stop it - she's a mess and will be nothing but a big headache for you. Interact with her only as necessary for valid work reasons. Edit - I see you cut the contact. Good! Keep it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
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