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Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 7th April 2019, 7:37 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by smiley1 View Post
I can't see any narcissism? Just negativity and nothing too major in my view.
I mean in the sense that she has a very entitled attitude and in any scenario she is only ever concerned about herself, and also has a tendency to expect others to drop what they're doing to accommodate whatever purpose she has for them. She's lost a lot of friends in the past few years through being this way. Another thing that's less important but has become very obvious is that even though she's over 60 now, and has gained a lot of weight from drinking heavily, she obviously thinks she's still hot stuff, (ie: frequently mentions proudly that she doesn't look her age - she's right, looks older than her age). I won't even start about the goings on involved with her sporadic romantic encounters or the rage when she gets the inevitable rejection.
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Old 7th April 2019, 7:41 PM   #17
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I think it's time to let this friendship go.
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Old 8th April 2019, 5:09 AM   #18
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But didn't she drop everything to visit her brother in ICU? I think she must have some empathy there. Anyway, she sounds irritating, self absorbed and difficult to be friends with.
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Old 8th April 2019, 7:50 AM   #19
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I mean in the sense that she has a very entitled attitude and in any scenario she is only ever concerned about herself, and also has a tendency to expect others to drop what they're doing to accommodate whatever purpose she has for them. She's lost a lot of friends in the past few years through being this way. Another thing that's less important but has become very obvious is that even though she's over 60 now, and has gained a lot of weight from drinking heavily, she obviously thinks she's still hot stuff, (ie: frequently mentions proudly that she doesn't look her age - she's right, looks older than her age). I won't even start about the goings on involved with her sporadic romantic encounters or the rage when she gets the inevitable rejection.
My goodness, if you feel this way about her it's way past time for this friendship to end.
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Old 8th April 2019, 9:37 AM   #20
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If she was a he and he was your boyfriend it would’ve been over a LONG time ago.

Would it be difficult to drop her? Will you end up being in the same place at the same time quite often or do you not run in the same circles?

Maybe you should make a pros/cons list and at the very least you may want to scale it way back if you aren’t prepared to end it entirely.
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Old 8th April 2019, 10:06 PM   #21
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But didn't she drop everything to visit her brother in ICU? I think she must have some empathy there. Anyway, she sounds irritating, self absorbed and difficult to be friends with.
A fairly common behaviour in narcissistic people is that they will do things which paint them in a favourable light because it's about their image. It's not unusual to find them in situations where they can be seen to be helping others. I didn't say she had Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (which is where there is no empathy for others at all), just narcissistic traits to the extent that she can be very irritating.
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Old 8th April 2019, 10:12 PM   #22
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If she was a he and he was your boyfriend it would’ve been over a LONG time ago.

Would it be difficult to drop her? Will you end up being in the same place at the same time quite often or do you not run in the same circles?

Maybe you should make a pros/cons list and at the very least you may want to scale it way back if you aren’t prepared to end it entirely.
No, we live in different states so avoidance wouldn't be an issue. I hesitate to end the friendship because we've been friends for such a long time and had some great times together, but I do hear what you're saying. Most people get wiser with age, but some people just get stupider, and as I get older it gets harder to observe stupidity and keep my opinions to myself. I think maybe, when it arises, I should just say what I think of her behaviour towards me and bugger the consequences
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