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Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 1st March 2019, 9:32 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
and the behaviour won't reflect well on you.
How does being assertive and standing up for oneself not reflect well on oneself?

(I get that the terminology 'give them a dose of their own medicine', and the thoughts-emotions behind that attitude, are not the highest that can be reached, but,
at least it is the baby-step to assertiveness, whether or not the other person gets it.)
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Old 1st March 2019, 9:37 PM   #17
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I don't know what is going on here from the original post. Are you a hen-pecked husband?
I was confused, as well alphamale.

The original poster is a woman who is having difficulties with another woman friend.
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Old 1st March 2019, 9:52 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Ronni_W View Post
How does being assertive and standing up for oneself not reflect well on oneself?

(I get that the terminology 'give them a dose of their own medicine', and the thoughts-emotions behind that attitude, are not the highest that can be reached, but,
at least it is the baby-step to assertiveness, whether or not the other person gets it.)
Giving one a dose of their own medicine is aggressive and the only outcome is more negativity. Assertiveness is a positive approach designed to solve the problem without making it worse.

I can't see how aggressively can be remotely connected to learning how to use assertiveness in solving problems.
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Old 1st March 2019, 9:54 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Ronni_W View Post
How does being assertive and standing up for oneself not reflect well on oneself?

(I get that the terminology 'give them a dose of their own medicine', and the thoughts-emotions behind that attitude, are not the highest that can be reached, but,
at least it is the baby-step to assertiveness, whether or not the other person gets it.)
Being assertive in response to a problem would reflect very well on the OP. But let's be clear that assertiveness involves a thoughtful response designed to improve communication, solve a problem and recognises everyone's needs.

Giving one a dose of their own medicine is not assertive. It's aggressive and retaliatory. All it would demonstrate is that the OP is no better than the one she complains about. It's got it's uses if she never needs to see this person again....but as they are both part of a group, a thoughtful approach is warranted.

Last edited by basil67; 1st March 2019 at 9:56 PM..
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Old 1st March 2019, 9:57 PM   #20
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Giving one a dose of their own medicine is aggressive
Already addressed the terminology, basil67. An assertive tone is NOT the same as an aggressive tone. However, if you think about it rationally and reasonably,
"doing unto others as they do unto you" is still not actually, inherently aggressive.
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Old 1st March 2019, 10:15 PM   #21
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Already addressed the terminology, basil67. An assertive tone is NOT the same as an aggressive tone. However, if you think about it rationally and reasonably,
"doing unto others as they do unto you" is still not actually, inherently aggressive.
Perhaps change the word 'aggressive' to 'negative'. It's probably only going to further exacerbate the situation. I can't offer anything else. All I can say is that I'd never use this technique towards someone who I needed to be on good terms with.
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