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Whats the proper etiquette when making plans with friends?


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Old 22nd February 2019, 9:09 AM   #1
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Whats the proper etiquette when making plans with friends?

Okay, not sure if this is some “gaslighting” excuse or not, but this has happened with 2 people. We made plans to meet up, a time a location. We texted hours before on the same day we were suppose to meet up like during the morning because our plans were in the evening. We make set plans and I’m on my way to the place we are meeting up at, well, they don’t show up and I send a text, then they tell me, “I didn’t think we were hanging out this evening because I didn’t hear from you throughout the day.” I’m like wtf? If I made set plans a time and location, then it’s a solid plan, the only reason I would send a text would be if I don’t plan on going at all. Seems they were putting the blame on me. What? So I’m suppose to send a “reminder” text like an hour before are meet up and send reminder texts every 15 minutes until then???? Absurd! Am I in the wrong?
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Old 22nd February 2019, 9:23 AM   #2
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That's bogus.

If you texted that morning, the plans were confirmed for that night. They were rude for not coming.

If you are inclined to keep these people in your life. I would never again get in car or even leave the house without one last confirmation.

For example, if you are supposed to meet after work at 6 but it will take you 1/2 hour to get there I'd reach out at 5:15 -- I need to be on the read by 5:30 to meet. Just confirming we are still on. I would not get in the car until they responded. If they don't get back to you until 5:45 you answer needs to be -- I can either be late because you didn't respond in a timely manner or we can cancel. However, if they picked cancel or acted all huffy, I would never again make plans with them.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 1:30 PM   #3
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Sounds like at least one of them is just wanting to pull something mean on you. What I'd do is start asking one by one until you find out which one is trying to sabotage you and exclude you and then dump that person
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Old 23rd February 2019, 1:06 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
That's bogus.

If you texted that morning, the plans were confirmed for that night. They were rude for not coming.

If you are inclined to keep these people in your life. I would never again get in car or even leave the house without one last confirmation.

For example, if you are supposed to meet after work at 6 but it will take you 1/2 hour to get there I'd reach out at 5:15 -- I need to be on the read by 5:30 to meet. Just confirming we are still on. I would not get in the car until they responded. If they don't get back to you until 5:45 you answer needs to be -- I can either be late because you didn't respond in a timely manner or we can cancel. However, if they picked cancel or acted all huffy, I would never again make plans with them.
Yeah, the next time I make plans with anyone, I will send a “confirmation” text or call an hour before meeting up. And if they don’t answer, I will just make an excuse and be late instead of me going out of my way assuming they will be there.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 1:21 AM   #5
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Yeah, the next time I make plans with anyone, I will send a “confirmation” text or call an hour before meeting up. And if they don’t answer, I will just make an excuse and be late instead of me going out of my way assuming they will be there.
Please don't. D0nni was talking about if you need to keep socialising with these people. If you're meeting someone else who genuinely wants to see you, they'd never behave this way. One confirmation on the morning of the event is all it should take.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 2:30 AM   #6
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Please don't. D0nni was talking about if you need to keep socialising with these people. If you're meeting someone else who genuinely wants to see you, they'd never behave this way. One confirmation on the morning of the event is all it should take.
I’m just going to write off these so called fake friends. I would rather have no friends and do stuff on my own then having to rely on someone just for conversational purposes.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 8:48 AM   #7
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Some people just suck. I have two dear friends who can't be on time no matter what. They are now better with me if I am picking them up because I have left both of them when they weren't ready. When meeting somewhere, they still show up late, I'm talking hours. I know that about them & just plan around it, not relying on them. They aren't bad people or fake friends. They are just flaky.
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Old 1st March 2019, 5:18 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
That's bogus.

If you texted that morning, the plans were confirmed for that night. They were rude for not coming.

If you are inclined to keep these people in your life. I would never again get in car or even leave the house without one last confirmation.

For example, if you are supposed to meet after work at 6 but it will take you 1/2 hour to get there I'd reach out at 5:15 -- I need to be on the read by 5:30 to meet. Just confirming we are still on. I would not get in the car until they responded. If they don't get back to you until 5:45 you answer needs to be -- I can either be late because you didn't respond in a timely manner or we can cancel. However, if they picked cancel or acted all huffy, I would never again make plans with them.

Same thing i was going to say. Very rude for them to not show
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:30 PM   #9
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I’m just going to write off these so called fake friends. I would rather have no friends and do stuff on my own then having to rely on someone just for conversational purposes.
Fair weather friends unfortunately do exist and they are hard to spot until you come across their path and they show you their true intentions or view of their connection to you, by their actions. Sorry this happened to you.

I agree that you should write off these so-called fake friends b/c they showed you that they really don't respect you. So, these are not people you should invest any more thought into.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:40 PM   #10
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this is a common conundrum between friends and even lovers. trying to get people together in the same place at the same time is like pulling teeth. it's even harder now a days cause you can easily send a text message cancelling or changing the plans at last minute. its ridiculous
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:54 PM   #11
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this is a common conundrum between friends and even lovers. trying to get people together in the same place at the same time is like pulling teeth. it's even harder now a days cause you can easily send a text message cancelling or changing the plans at last minute. its ridiculous
^^This. Technology has made manners a requirement now if you want to maintain a relationship with someone. They have zero excuse to not text you or use instant messaging to tell you they have to cancel, they will be late, or they forgot, or whatever the reason is they give you. They owe you a text. If you get the silent treatment when you reach out to someone, well, that is a sign the person doesn't consider your feelings or time their priority. Nothing flaky about that, b/c its just rude not to consider someone else's feelings.
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Old 10th March 2019, 11:25 PM   #12
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Sounds like BS to me. These people are not only not your real friends, but they don't have any respect for you. I dead ass would not initiate communication with these people again. That's beyond shady to me smh.

As an aside, try posting this question on the RGUE app (pronounced "argue") to try and get some additional perspectives.
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