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She keeps dating taken men


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Old 21st February 2019, 9:50 AM   #1
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She keeps dating taken men

One of my friends is always dating married or taken men. She gets them to break up with their partner then winds up dumping them. This has been going on for like 8 years. Our female friends talk about her behind her back. Is this an issue for women?
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Old 21st February 2019, 9:52 AM   #2
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It isn't someone I would keep as a friend.
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Old 21st February 2019, 9:56 AM   #3
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She's my friend. Not my lover. Do you have anything to share about the subject?

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 21st February 2019 at 12:24 PM.. Reason: Redact quote of prior post
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Old 21st February 2019, 10:03 AM   #4
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You asked if this is an issue for women - and as a woman, I wouldn't maintain a friendship with someone who felt it appropriate to repetitively date married and/or coupled men. As far as I'm concerned, there is something wrong with people that do that and I wouldn't be able to be their friend.
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Old 21st February 2019, 10:12 AM   #5
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Ok. Thank you for sharing.

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Old 21st February 2019, 10:52 AM   #6
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Maybe your friends need to stop talking about her behind her back and tell her to her face that what she is doing is wrong.
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Old 21st February 2019, 10:56 AM   #7
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I've mentioned it. But the ladies won't. But share where this keeps coming from? It's obviously a pattern.

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Old 21st February 2019, 11:28 AM   #8
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She's an angry person, probably hates men and other women and doesn't like to see people happy.

Who really cares, though. How long before she goes after your man?

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Old 21st February 2019, 11:36 AM   #9
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I'm a guy who dates women.

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Old 21st February 2019, 11:50 AM   #10
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It is not uncommon. Your friend is an emotional hostage taker. If she were firebombing churches, she wouldn't be your friend, but firebombing relationships and families is OK with you. Interesting. It would be one thing if she fell in love with one taken man, but repeatedly doing it means there's more to it.

She is seeking to punish others because for some reason, she wants to punish herself. Instead of finding an available man, she fished in a pool of taken things. She's like a thief casing a house or store for valuables. She doesn't want to find her own valuables because she only values what other people own. She wants what they have because she doesn't value her own experiences or and wants to experience the power of destroying something. Ironically, she's lacking in self-worth because she believes, deep down, that other people hold all of the power. Taking what they have is her way of feeling better about herself. She shows no shame and lets you and the "ladies" know so that she feels less invisible.

Something about her childhood was not right. Perhaps her mommy didn't like her or perhaps her dad liked her too much and it created resentment between her and her mother. I'm not talking about sexual abuse (although that is possible), just the normal messed up dynamics of a mother that also has incredibly low self esteem and wants to compete with her daughter. She couldn't figure out a way to express that frustration with her mother so she uses this behavior to hide the intense fear of abandonment. She is weak, so she hides that weakness by trying to pretend she's strong.

And what better way to show that you're strong than to go on a crusade?

Things ain't right with your friend.
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Old 21st February 2019, 11:52 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dateme View Post
I've mentioned it. But the ladies won't. But share where this keeps coming from? It's obviously a pattern.
She's a woman who is obviously afraid of commitment that is why she goes for MM, taken men and then dumps them when they are free. She likes the chase and when she has them she loses interest. This is not an issue for women in general, just some.
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Old 21st February 2019, 12:25 PM   #12
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It is not uncommon. Your friend is an emotional hostage taker.<snip>
Wow. Good assessment. Her dad was super strict and over protective. He wouldn't let her cuss, dress sexy, drink, date a lot of guys, or get tattoos. Now she does all of that. I never thought of that. Hmmm. Interesting. And she's super insecure. Well we're all going to continue being her friend.

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Old 21st February 2019, 12:26 PM   #13
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She's a woman who is obviously afraid of commitment that is why she goes for MM, taken men and then dumps them when they are free. She likes the chase and when she has them she loses interest. This is not an issue for women in general, just some.
That's exactly what it seems like. Once she gets them she's done. She seems to enjoy the courting process and the being in love. Not the actual duties of it.
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Old 24th February 2019, 12:40 PM   #14
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This isn't an issue with women in general but an issue with your friend. Plain truth is she is selfish. She may get a high from taking what is not hers to take. She may not stop until she sleeps with the wrong man. I have slept with many men during my marriage, and I could count so many women who have never cheated.
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Old 26th February 2019, 8:06 PM   #15
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Closest thing to it is a younger friend who was only interested in the men her friends were interested in and she had no ethics about it whatsoever. I honestly think with her at least when it began, she didn't trust her own judgment and so she followed the lead of her friends, but I have cut her out of my life. I put up with it because it didn't get too close to home (actually, it did but I didn't find out until 20 years later) but yup, she's still a poacher in her middle age. I finally cut her out when she started living with my best friend's first husband.
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