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Is he worth my time?


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 31st January 2019, 11:58 AM   #16
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Is he a good friend or not?

Hey!

I don’t have alot of friend since I had to cut ties with most of them that I tought was my friend but many of them was fake. I only have one friend left but I’m starting to questioning if he’s really a good one or not?

We have had 2-3 minor arguments but it’s not a big deal because it’s normal. Friends have arguments and they get back to each other.

Most recently as you can read on my thread is that he compared me to mr.bean and I did not took that joke very well. Most of the advice I got was not to think much but he’s also not serious when meeting up.

Yesterday we planned to go on a gaming event which is today, but he said that he was exhausted after coming home and I said sure just rest and have a nice day.

A hour later he said this: «Hey are you still there? Maybe I’m coming»

Now I’m wondering is he really exhausted or not? He’s not serious.

Also! he got mad at me for not answering my phone the other day. I sent him a message and said I call you later I’m busy. He’s opinion is that I could answer because he was not going to talk much... like wtf dude he could sent me a message on snapchat lol
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Old 31st January 2019, 3:48 PM   #17
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tagalz View Post
Hey!

Yesterday we planned to go on a gaming event which is today, but he said that he was exhausted after coming home and I said sure just rest and have a nice day.

A hour later he said this: «Hey are you still there? Maybe I’m coming»

Now I’m wondering is he really exhausted or not? He’s not serious.
I'm overthinking way too much. I need to calm down.
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Old 31st January 2019, 8:53 PM   #18
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Hey, I think you are good. What you've mentioned seems like pretty normal stuff between friends.

As to the Mr. Bean comment - I'm a woman, but I've heard guy friends say things to each other that seemed pretty mean to me, but they were truly just joking with each other. My xH told me one time it's just what guys do.
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Old 1st February 2019, 5:42 PM   #19
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Talking Is he worth my time?

Hey again lol!

Okay forget these other threads that I’ve posted of me overthinking but this might be a good thing to consider. I will explain.

Usually it’s only me that initiate contact and ask him to hang out. It’s almost never him that asks so that left me wondering is he really worth my time? Is he really interested?

Therefore I’m going to test him. He knows my schedule meaning he knowns my working days and when I have a day off. So I’m not going to contact him for about 2-3 weeks and see if he asks me.

If he doesn’t then I will not contact him anymore. What do you readers think?

Last edited by Tagalz; 1st February 2019 at 5:45 PM..
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Old 1st February 2019, 5:46 PM   #20
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that's a good test
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Old 1st February 2019, 5:48 PM   #21
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Agreed
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Old 1st February 2019, 6:03 PM   #22
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It can also be my fault since I took he’s joke seriously... the mr.bean comment
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Old 1st February 2019, 6:25 PM   #23
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That's a good idea. You will find out if he cares any. Also, you will keep a habit from developing where it's always you who has to initiate. Give him that space and see if he initiates. If he does, that's what you want, so be sure and be bright and happy about it (but not gushing and grateful) and say something to reward him, like, "What a good idea. Thanks for asking." In other words, the basic reward good behavior, don't give attention when it's bad.
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Old 8th February 2019, 10:17 PM   #24
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Update!

Hey!

A late update!

He called me few days ago and was asking me what I've been up to lately. We had conversation about football but no more than that. He asked me when I have a day off and I said sunday so he said cool let's go and hangout.

I said no because all the shops are closed and we just end up freezing outside. When I asked him to come over to my place to play games he was like no it's boring there. We ended up with agreeing not to meet on sunday.

Then he asked me when is your next day off after sunday. I said this wednesday. If he's not contacting me then I wait 1 more week and then the test is over
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Old 9th February 2019, 1:31 PM   #25
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Is this some kind of supposed friendship that you're 'testing' for some odd reason?

If it is, it just sounds awful on both counts.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 13th February 2019 at 3:21 PM.. Reason: Redact quote of prior post
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Old 9th February 2019, 11:12 PM   #26
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I'm testing because I am the only one who asks him to hangout which is me showing interest to actually spend time with him.

If he don't contact me then I know that he's not interested in being with me. I believe it is important for both parts to show interest in a friendship and right now it's just me and not him showing interest.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 13th February 2019 at 3:21 PM.. Reason: Redact quote of prior post
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Old 10th February 2019, 10:31 AM   #27
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Completely get this. I had “friends” at my prior job. I tried reaching out to them initially when I left and then pretty much left them alone for 3 months and maybe only one got in touch. I think it’s a good approach. It really irritates me when all the initiation comes from me and otherwise no one else would hang out/talk.
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Old 10th February 2019, 4:50 PM   #28
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Well, when he DID ask you out, you had a bad excuse and said no (the shops are closed. Really?) No wonder he isn't lined up to ask you out all the time. You have to do something HE wants to do sometime, not just what you want to do. At least he's outspoken enough to say he's bored hanging out at your place. Do you two have any common interests?
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Old 10th February 2019, 6:23 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tagalz View Post
Therefore I’m going to test him.
Tagalz,

You are needing to spend waayyyyy too much of your time and Energy on this guy!

If he doesn't contact you for Wednesday, then you're going to make another excuse for why you need to make another test.

What is blocking you (your mind) from already accepting that you are not as important to him as he is to you? <-- Sorry to be blunt,
but you really do need to start thinking about this 'relationship/friendship' in an entirely different way. For your own sake, and for your own mental-emotional-social health and well-being.
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Old 13th February 2019, 3:11 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by MetallicHue View Post
Completely get this. I had “friends” at my prior job. I tried reaching out to them initially when I left and then pretty much left them alone for 3 months and maybe only one got in touch. I think it’s a good approach. It really irritates me when all the initiation comes from me and otherwise no one else would hang out/talk.
Hhaha yes! It's about showing that the interest is there for both parts. I think that's important in a friendship
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