Reminding friend of plans

[Belle23]

I asked a friend of mine to join a group of us in going to an event/festival in my city. Their response was, “ cool, remind me.” I feel like other friends have done this to me at times as well. It makes me feel like they’re not really all that excited to hang out. A part of me doesn’t want to be rude and just remind them, but the other side of me feels like if you really wanted to hang out you wouldn’t need the reminder.

 

Does anyone have any input? Should I really be reminding my friends of plans? Or am I overreacting?

[preraph]

Some people aren't organized and need reminders. So just remind her a few days ahead and see if she goes or not. A few days ought to give her time to be able to go. So if she doesn't, probably, she's not interested. If she says remind me again after the reminder, tell her, Lonnie, this IS your reminder.

[FMW]

I agree with you. If they are interested it's up to them to make a note of it if they can't remember.

 

Send her an email (as soon as it's convenient for you), something like "Here's the time and place if you're able to come". I wouldn't do anything more than that.

[stillafool]

Probably these friends have so many other things going on in their lives that they need reminding. I wouldn't read too much into it. If you're a really busy person it's hard to keep up with everything without an appointment reminder. If they don't show after you remind them stop asking because they probably don't want to hang out.

[Dodgersfan11]

I asked a friend of mine to join a group of us in going to an event/festival in my city. Their response was, “ cool, remind me.” I feel like other friends have done this to me at times as well. It makes me feel like they’re not really all that excited to hang out. A part of me doesn’t want to be rude and just remind them, but the other side of me feels like if you really wanted to hang out you wouldn’t need the reminder.

 

Does anyone have any input? Should I really be reminding my friends of plans? Or am I overreacting?

 

I don't think you're overreacting. I never had to tell someone to "remind" me of going. I write things down on my calendar or put a note on my phone if someone invites me out. I mean, what, I'm sure they remember important events when someone invites them out. Imagine if they were invited to a wedding or funeral and they tell that person to "remind" them. Yeah, I would think that is a bit rude.

[basil67]

I'm unorganised. I will remember an event which is a few days away. And I will remember that more distant events are happening but I may forget what the actual date is. I know it's difficult for those who are organised to understand, but it's a thing.

[Whodatdog]

Im a bit disorganized and very busy, but I remember an appointment or date if its important to me. Im not sure Id be inclined to remind someone about doing something with me.

[guest569]

I'm a bit like this when friends ask me to attend something that is weeks or months away and I am not able to confirm just yet. If it's the type of thing where you have to buy tickets ahead of time then I will get my things together. But more casual stuff I don't plan in advance.

[mavendark]

I have the same problems. It bugs me so much that people can't remember when you've invited them to things. Sometimes I feel naggy and annoying for having to remind someone more than twice for a specific event. I just usually remind them about three times, depending on the person. Once the first time I tell them about the event, once a week before the event, and if they still haven't decided, the day before the event. At that point I'm just assuming they're not going to go.

 

Part of me feels like if they really want to hang out with me, they'll make an effort. They'll remember the first two times I remind them. And if they don't and are always wishy washy about it, or need constant reminders, then it's obvious that I'm not that important to them.

 

I only had a couple of times when the scenario was flipped, where the other person was reminding me of the events. And I can honestly say that it's not because the event was not important, but rather I just happen to have a lot going on on my mind or on the job that week and I just didn't want to put the brain power into thinking about it and organizing it (because I know and trust that my friend will remind me).