JamesKo Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 (edited) Hey guys, thanks for helping in the previous post I made. She rejected me saying that she doesn’t date coworkers even though we were just students and were on the verge of graduating. She led me on and like really led me on (won’t go into details now) and when I became straightforward with her, she rejected me. She then missed the attention that she was getting from me, so she initiated contact with me again. And I was just being crushed by the fact that she never wanted me in that way and was just using me so I ending our so called friendship. We have the same group of friends but me and her haven’t spoken to each other for over a month now and it’s just been total awkward between us. We don’t talk to each other and give each other silent treatments. And yesterday at our final group hangout, after saying our goodbyes, she came to talk to me and this is what is said to her: “Just before Christmas we were strangers, and for a tiny period of time we became so close to each other, I really got to know Sara as a person but then we became strangers again. As much as I wanted to get to know you maybe we were just meant to be strangers after all. I only go after the things I want in life and if I can’t get those things, I just pretend they don’t even exist. And if our paths do collide in the future, I’ll make sure we always remain strangers because that’s what we always have been. Take care”. I said this to her today and left. For a moment I felt good but inside I was tearing apart, because this was someone I really started to like after such a long time and this rarely happens. I miss her, I won’t deny that but I accept reality as well and maybe I respect myself way too much rather than going on my knees and becoming needy, becoming her friend and watching her date other guys from the sidelines. Was just wondering if I said something harsh to her but I really wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading and understanding. Edited June 4, 2018 by JamesKo Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyKatLady Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Freedom of speech is on your side I suppose. You know how to do you best and if this was the best way to handle your situation then you have my support. Such as it is. I read many things in between the lines of your post but it came across as sincerely a part of you so...you did what was best for your part and you. Life is learned in stages and through our interactions and outcomes with others. Sounds like you are mostly over it and looking for other pursuits to interest you better. My biggest breakdowns in communication have always stemmed from a lack of Finesse. I have a big old bossy mouth. Haha. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 The two of you have the same group of friends? Telling her that you'll treat her as a stranger will be super awkward if you're at a party together. Are you comfortable with finding a new group? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JamesKo Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 The two of you have the same group of friends? Telling her that you'll treat her as a stranger will be super awkward if you're at a party together. Are you comfortable with finding a new group? We are graduating and we all know this for a fact that the group won't last. People will get busy in life and therefore we had this final group hangout for the last time, where we all came and wished each other good luck for the future. I won't be seeing her again. I actually just didn't finish our friendship, I even left a door open for her. I told her clearly, I wanted to date her and get to know her better and if she ever becomes interested in that, she has my number and she can always shoot me a text. It's been over a month now, no text whatsoever and I already knew this beforehand that she would never text me regarding the date because she was never really interested in me. So why should I be friends with a person who rejected me because she simply wanted attention and wanted to feel good about herself by boosting her ego ? There was no point in remaining friends with her because even if I had stayed friends with this person, I would had been heartbroken. And the moment we had graduated she would had been out of my life anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 She was friendly again only because she was seeing if she was losing you as a friend, which is all she ever thought of you, apparently. Her leading you on is just her social personalilty. I wouldn't have told her anything. But at least now she knows for sure she can't just be friendly acquaintances or anything with you, and she's not interested in more. So she's out of your life except for any awkward social things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JamesKo Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 She was friendly again only because she was seeing if she was losing you as a friend, which is all she ever thought of you, apparently. Her leading you on is just her social personalilty. I wouldn't have told her anything. But at least now she knows for sure she can't just be friendly acquaintances or anything with you, and she's not interested in more. So she's out of your life except for any awkward social things. I agree with you on almost the entire thing. However, her leading me on is not her social personality. She likes the attention, she likes having a fan around. She doesn't do this with anyone else, how come ? I can go in details here but I won't. I know what happened, I know that she led me on only so that she could boost her ego and talk about herself and her problems. She never saw me more than a friend, that's alright and I never wanted her friendship and stood up for myself. Life is too short and I won't settle for less. She lost me as a friend the moment I started seeing her true colors. No doubt she is a nice and friendly person but once you get to know her, it's all about her. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 There are people who just like a lot of attention, that's for sure. Better luck next time. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 I agree with you on almost the entire thing. However, her leading me on is not her social personality. She likes the attention, she likes having a fan around. She doesn't do this with anyone else, how come ? I can go in details here but I won't. I know what happened, I know that she led me on only so that she could boost her ego and talk about herself and her problems. She never saw me more than a friend, that's alright and I never wanted her friendship and stood up for myself. Life is too short and I won't settle for less. She lost me as a friend the moment I started seeing her true colors. No doubt she is a nice and friendly person but once you get to know her, it's all about her. You may be right, but I don't see how you could know that she doesn't do this with anyone else. She simply may not do it with everybody, but I'm sure there's others. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 Meh, no harm done. You're young and will quickly move on. Nice job on not doing the needy clingy Link to post Share on other sites
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