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2nd boyfriend....!!!


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I love someone who has a boyfriend already. Though I didn't express my thought to her. But I care a lot to her in different angle and she gives feedback too. Sometimes she says "you are taking care of me like my father", sometimes say "you are taking care of me like a husband" sometimes like a boyfriend, like a brother, like a mother, like a friend etc.

 

Well, I want to spend my whole life with her whatever she loves me or not. I wish I will pass my life with her like a 2nd boyfriend, like a 2nd father, 2nd brother, 2nd friend and all of 2nd. What do you think about this "2nd"?? Is there any definition of this or does "2nd" has any existence???

Edited by Halua
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So let me get this clear. She currently is dating another guy? If this is the case then you need to just be the best friend you can be until that relationship ends. Unless she is in an open relationship with this guy and they are both OK seeing other people don't pursue her that way. If she breaks up then pursue her and from the way she talks about you she will become your girlfriend.

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Yes, she is in open relationship with a guy. Seems they love each other more honestly, so there is no chance to break their relation. They will get married soon. I haven't headache in this issue. I just want to spend my whole life for her without showing my emotions. Whenever she needs something I'll go to her to solve. And everything seems a 2nd one to me.

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Lotsgoingon

Dude, I am speechless.

 

No offense ... but really work on your self esteem and allow yourself to have some higher expectations of life. You do realize that the "second" partner is usually miserable, right?

 

And you're misreading her words ... The words you want to hear ... the only words that count are "I am deeply attracted to you. I want you. You feel make feel so good." And even those are meaningful only it accompanied by deeds and actions.

 

Instead you are hearing, "you treat me nice." "You are kind." "You look after me."

 

You treat me nice ... does not equal ... I want to be in a relationship with you.

 

If you treat me nice = I want to be in relationship with you ... then you would see all the guys in the world treating women super nice. Men would have embraced this as a mating strategy 200,000 years ago.

 

All kinds of women have treated me nice ... doesn't mean I wanted to be in a relationship with them ... and indeed, to the extent they were treating me nicely in order to be in relationship with me ... they weren't really treating me nice. They were just being strategic ... Most likely you're just being strategic ...

 

Relationships work when people REALLY just want to treat a person nicely ... Not treat them nicely in order to stand out.

Edited by Lotsgoingon
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I think her telling you you're taking care of her like a brother, father, etc. is her gently telling you it's not appropriate and that it's unusual how you're acting knowing that she is engaged. Believe me, her husband isn't about to put up with you hanging around.

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