Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Platonic > Friendship

Best friend/roommate trying to seduce?

Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Like Tree1Likes
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 5th March 2018, 12:07 PM   #1
Established Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: California
Posts: 595
Best friend/roommate trying to seduce?

Okay, I will give background on the friendship below. Basically my best friend is renting a room from me for a few months. She is getting her things in order before she moves out of State for a year. Then she will likely move back.

I have noticed that she occasionally leaves her bathroom door open when she is showering/bathing. She did this last night while I was sitting in the living room watching TV. The bathroom door is literally right above the living room and mostly visible from down stairs/the living room. The upstairs is like an open loft that is partially visible to the living room below it. She knows I am down stairs and in the living room when she does this. My question is, do you think this is being done intentionally to tease me or is it more of a “he’s my best friend” i’m Comfortable with him.

We have been friends for many years. We have been best friends since we were 18 and we are now in our 30’s. Neither of us have been married or had kids. I have had small crushes for her on and off over the years. I have never told her that Inhave had feelings for her on and off over the years. Nothing has ever happened between us, not even a kiss. But she was in a relationship for the last 10-12 years which sort of made that not an option. She just became single 2-3 years ago.

Her moving in with me has made those feelings for her pop up again. The feelings stem from the fact that she is my best friend. Now that we have been living together I look at how things are and think this is what I want any future relationship to be like. I do plan to tell her, but not while she is living with me. I don’t want things to get awkward when she is living with me.

She has made statements that make me feel like she is trying too allude to more with me. For example we were talking about what type of woman I need in a relationship and she said that it was her. But on the flip side she will also say things that are “your just a friend” and solidifying that boundary.

She is the type that plays a lot of games especially hot/cold when dating. Which is another reason I want to date her, I know the games she’ll play and can put an end to them (something she wants).
Dork Vader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th March 2018, 12:17 PM   #2
Established Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,804
To answer your question about her leaving the shower door open to tease you or because she's comfortable with you I don't think there's any way to know without talking with her about it.

You mention you're not going to talk with her about your desire to be more than friends while she lives with you because it may make her stay there more awkward. However, it seems to me, her stay will become more awkward if you don't talk about it. Just my opinion, maybe not on target for you, but I'd appreciate it if I were her, if you were transparent with me.
LivingWaterPlease is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th March 2018, 6:01 PM   #3
Established Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 19,214
I think she's leaving the door open because it's nearly impossible to get your hair done right in a steamy room.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th March 2018, 8:54 PM   #4
Established Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: SE Australia
Posts: 468
She's so comfortable with your friendship and you two living together that she can trust you enough to keep the bathroom door open. And she's one of those people who doesn't care as much about accidentally being seen - some friends really don't care about getting changed in front of opposite sex friends. Conversely, even people in committed relationships often keep the door closed even around their partner (myself and my partner included). Unless there are other signals I wouldn't read anything from it.

She hasn't realised that you have feelings for her, obviously because you haven't said or done anything to suggest that. You guys are deeply compatible as friends, and that often builds a great relationship, but there at least needs to be attraction on both sides which isn't happening here. It's quite an awkward situation to be in - where she's renting the room from you, and she's a great friend so you're not in a great position to ask her to leave without telling the truth.

Last edited by snowboy91; 5th March 2018 at 8:56 PM.. Reason: clarity
snowboy91 is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Best (new mom) friend's boyfriend tried to seduce me... and I liked it friendzone1 The Other Man / Woman 43 8th June 2015 4:16 AM
Asking out my roommate's monkey00 Dating 5 29th November 2008 5:42 AM
best friend and roommate? Becks84 Friendship 1 30th April 2004 11:54 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:09 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.