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-   -   He blocked me everywhere (https://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/friendship/652853-he-blocked-me-everywhere)

Nadine123 15th February 2018 4:28 PM

He blocked me everywhere
 
Hello all, I hope you're having a lovely day.

First, sorry about my English it isnt my first language.

The story is that me and this guy have been really great friends for about three years. We even travelled to Europe together for 3 months and had an awesome time.

When we both back home, I started seeing someone (who turned out to be a complete psycho) but that isnt the story here. We were both camping and one night he touched my a**, which is harrassment. I blew off on him and he then claimed it was a mistake and he meant to touch my back instead. I believed him because honestly I have never seen anything bad from him.

The next three days he became extremely rude and aggressive. Looking for a fight for no reason at all so I decided to pack my things and leave and go back home. I didnt tell him I was leaving because to be honest I was very upset from his behaviour. He had his own car and everything so there was nothing to worry about in terms of leaving him there. I didnt think about it again and he didnt contact me. 3 weeks ago our of curiousity I check his fb page and I find out that he blocked me on whatsapp, instagram, fb, his business page, and even from commenting on his business page (a bit too extreme) lol. I wasnt going to contact him any way but I find his behaviour really surprising.

I then found out that he is going around spreading rumours about me. I will never see him again as we both live in different places but Im just a bit confused as in why he would act like this.

preraph 15th February 2018 7:05 PM

He tried to touch you and you said no, and so now he is rejected and mad and his pride is hurt. He's probably thinking why did you go camp with him if you didn't want to have sex. I don't agree with that, but he probably thought it might happen. Why waste another thought on him? It's over. Block him too so just in case he's trying to look at your social media. All you have to say if anyone brings it up him saying bad things is "I rejected him." That's it. Everyone understands how some people get.

basil67 15th February 2018 8:29 PM

For starters, his actions would not classify as harassment. Harassment is far more significant than a friend clumsily hitting on you once.

Did you know he had a crush on you before you went camping with him? Did you tell him you thought his actions were harassment? If you answer "yes" to either of these questions, I can understand why he's cut you out of his life.

Nadine123 16th February 2018 8:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by basil67 (Post 7539183)
For starters, his actions would not classify as harassment. Harassment is far more significant than a friend clumsily hitting on you once.

Did you know he had a crush on you before you went camping with him? Did you tell him you thought his actions were harassment? If you answer "yes" to either of these questions, I can understand why he's cut you out of his life.

Hi basil, thank you for your reply.

As I mentioned in my first post, I told him what he did wasnt okay but he said he meant to touch my back instead. No, he never said he had a crush on me.

What do you mean you understand why he cut me off? I didnt do anything to him.

TaxMan 16th February 2018 12:47 PM

Chances are he feels rejected and embarrassed and hurt and is shielding himself from having do deal with those feelings. That's just my take.

basil67 16th February 2018 4:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nadine123 (Post 7539432)
Hi basil, thank you for your reply.

As I mentioned in my first post, I told him what he did wasnt okay but he said he meant to touch my back instead. No, he never said he had a crush on me.

What do you mean you understand why he cut me off? I didnt do anything to him.

I said that I understand him cutting you off IF you were aware of a crush or if you told him that his actions were harassment.

If you did neither of those things, I guess he's gone away because he wants more from you than you're wanting to give.

William 17th February 2018 12:16 PM

Did some off-topic cleanup and I'll remind members to stay focused on the topic of a friend apparently blocking the thread starter everywhere after a trip. Thanks!

Cookiesandough 17th February 2018 7:56 PM

"great friends" uh huh. More like pretending to be a great friend. When you reject his sexual advances he figures he has no more need for contact with you, hence the blocking out of his life. Some friend.

introverted1 23rd February 2018 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nadine123 (Post 7538989)
Hello all, I hope you're having a lovely day.

First, sorry about my English it isnt my first language.

The story is that me and this guy have been really great friends for about three years. We even travelled to Europe together for 3 months and had an awesome time.

When we both back home, I started seeing someone (who turned out to be a complete psycho) but that isnt the story here. We were both camping and one night he touched my a**, which is harrassment. I blew off on him and he then claimed it was a mistake and he meant to touch my back instead. I believed him because honestly I have never seen anything bad from him.

The next three days he became extremely rude and aggressive. Looking for a fight for no reason at all so I decided to pack my things and leave and go back home. I didnt tell him I was leaving because to be honest I was very upset from his behaviour. He had his own car and everything so there was nothing to worry about in terms of leaving him there. I didnt think about it again and he didnt contact me. 3 weeks ago our of curiousity I check his fb page and I find out that he blocked me on whatsapp, instagram, fb, his business page, and even from commenting on his business page (a bit too extreme) lol. I wasnt going to contact him any way but I find his behaviour really surprising.

I then found out that he is going around spreading rumours about me. I will never see him again as we both live in different places but Im just a bit confused as in why he would act like this.

So you abandoned him on your trip and now you are wondering why he blocked you?

Hopen 7th March 2018 10:59 PM

Then let him be. It's his loss. Just go on and be an amazing person without him.

Dork Vader 8th March 2018 4:13 AM

There are a lot of unknowns in this post. But I will say this.. If you snapped at him and got rude with him when he touched your bum, then I might be able to understand why he's cut you out of his life. Now by no means am I saying you should put up with a guy touching you when you don't want them to. But when a friend does it, set a boundary and do it confidently and firmly with out accusations of assault or harassment. If they don't respect the boundary you set that's when it starts to become harassment or possibly more/worse.

If I had a female friend and I accidentally touched her bum and that female friend snapped at me with accusations of assault/harassment. Then I'd be running from the woman. I would be insanely uncomfortable around her, what would she do if I accidentally bump into her again?!

Nadine123 8th March 2018 6:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dork Vader (Post 7553624)
There are a lot of unknowns in this post. But I will say this.. If you snapped at him and got rude with him when he touched your bum, then I might be able to understand why he's cut you out of his life. Now by no means am I saying you should put up with a guy touching you when you don't want them to. But when a friend does it, set a boundary and do it confidently and firmly with out accusations of assault or harassment. If they don't respect the boundary you set that's when it starts to become harassment or possibly more/worse.

If I had a female friend and I accidentally touched her bum and that female friend snapped at me with accusations of assault/harassment. Then I'd be running from the woman. I would be insanely uncomfortable around her, what would she do if I accidentally bump into her again?!

If there are any questions I can answer to help you understand this but I dont think you read my post properly. I spoke to him about it and let it go as I said. For the next three days, he became really rude and aggressive and was looking for a fight for no reason so I left.

basil67 8th March 2018 7:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nadine123 (Post 7553670)
If there are any questions I can answer to help you understand this but I dont think you read my post properly. I spoke to him about it and let it go as I said. For the next three days, he became really rude and aggressive and was looking for a fight for no reason so I left.

Long story short: he thought you were romantically interested in him but he got it wrong. He has disappreared due to feelings involving sadness and disappointment. You also didn't answer as to whether you knew he had a crush and if the two of you were camping alone...if you did know and you were alone, then he's also likely feeling like you led him on. And you felt his actions were hassassment.

His actions are really not hard to figure out if you put yourself in the shoes of a guy who's got a crush.

littleblackheart 8th March 2018 7:27 AM

Sequence of events:

1. You go away as friends on a camping trip with someone you've known for 3 years and already travelled with for 3 months just as you start a new relationship with someone else.
2. He touches your bum during the camping trip
3. You blow off on him and tell him it's harrassment, then you let it go.
4. He is rude to you for 3 days
5. You leave without letting him know
6. Nothing happens for 3 weeks, neither of you gets in touch with other (you to explain why you left, him to understand why you left without warning)
7. After checking his social media, you realise he's blocked you everywhere.

Question: is there any way at all that he actually was telling the truth, ie he did in fact touch your bum by accident and thought the whole thing got blown totally out of proportions and didn't take well the fact his travel-buddy / good friend of 3 years' first reaction is to scream harrassment? Even if you let it go, he clearly didn't. Probably even moreso if he doesn't have any romantic feelings for you whatsoever.

Nadine123 8th March 2018 7:31 AM

Noone slaps your ass by mistake. I know what's it like for someone to touch your ass by accident or not. The reason I let it go was exactly as u said, I couldnt believe a fact that a good friend would do this.

If he was upset that I called him out, he could have told me since I was totally cool with him afterwards. When he started being rude, I tried my best to diffuse the situation.

If anyone feels like I still did something wrong, do let me know. Im a person that learns from my mistake so I dont repeat them again.


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