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Tips for making friends in a new town?


MajesticUnicorn

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MajesticUnicorn

For those of you who have read my posts you may know that’s I moved about 2 months ago across the country. Things are awesome job-wise...I love my new job, the place I live and my apartment is starting to feel like home.

 

But there’s one area where I am struggling and that’s with friendships (relationships too but that’s another story!) In general I am a very social and extroverted person and have never struggled to make friends in the past. However I think moving to a place where I knew no one has put me a little bit out of my comfort zone.

 

All of my coworkers are really great, similar in age and I am starting to vibe with them thankfully. But most of them are in relationships or married and don’t seem to do much outside of work with each other. Though that’s something they mentioned doing in my job interview, but that is beside the point.

 

There’s some other things that seem to be making this challenging. I now live in a ski resort town, where the population is under 5,000 (permanent residents anyway). The guy to girl ratio is also extremely off, like 5:1 if not more. I’m not opposed to guy friends as I feel like I get along with them really well, however it’s hard at times to decipher who has good intentions. I’ve also been told to be careful because there’s rarely “single pretty girls” in this town.

 

Anyway I know that some of the advice for making friends may seem obvious, but it has proven to be challenging for me. So far the only hanging out with coworkers I’ve done is trivia happy hour, which was fun.

 

I have friends in nearby cities who come up and visit or ill go see on weekends sometimes, but it’d be nice to have at least one person here.

 

Anyone been in this situation have any advice?

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wow so fun!!

 

So I lived in summit county CO. SKI country 5 years. Worked and lived on the resort.

 

I swear guy to girl ratio was 9-1.

 

Anyway, I'm curious, do you plan to stay permanent where you are? You live in a transient situation.

 

2 months is not enough time in your situation to make close friends. You need the season to roll over once or twice to see who stays.

 

it will come. enjoy your self man. be social, meet peeps. the regs will show their faces year after year. it will come naturally because the regs know it turns over

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MajesticUnicorn
wow so fun!!

 

So I lived in summit county CO. SKI country 5 years. Worked and lived on the resort.

 

I swear guy to girl ratio was 9-1.

 

Anyway, I'm curious, do you plan to stay permanent where you are? You live in a transient situation.

 

2 months is not enough time in your situation to make close friends. You need the season to roll over once or twice to see who stays.

 

it will come. enjoy your self man. be social, meet peeps. the regs will show their faces year after year. it will come naturally because the regs know it turns over

 

Awesome!!! I’m in Grand County myself. I’m sure you can understand my situation very well then.

 

I accepted a full time position here. Ultimately I hope to end up in the city but for now this is a good place for me and an amazing opportunity for my career, not to mention incredibly fun.

 

That is what I’ve been told. One of the first pieces of advice my coworker gave me was not to rush friendships because it takes time. I’m trying to be patient, but at the same point it sucks not having a close friend to call up anytime to hang out.

 

I’ve gone out by myself for a drink a few times and when I have friends visiting I make the effort to go out and meet people. Not sure what else to do!

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Are there any small gyms that have small group fitness classes? Usually those are highly populated by women. Even cross fit if you could find a time where a lot of women go.

 

How about finding out from the library if there's a book club?

 

You could also decide to have a side direct sales business....those women seem to make lots of female friends really fast if my Facebook feed is correct lol.

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Are there any local organizations to join?

 

Given the lopsided M/F ratio, you'll likely have better luck connecting with couples over interests and taking it from there.

 

If you're into animals, volunteering at a cat or dog rescue/shelter would be one that comes to mind. Most towns, even small ones like near where I live (1600 people in town) have them.

 

Myself, I've probably met more locals at the building supply and post office than anywhere else.

 

It takes time. A couple years of being around and making an effort. If the area is too transient, it might never happen.

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Nice!! Grand county!! you must be skiing winter park. mogul central.

 

I lived on copper mountain. hated brek. loved keystone, and the basin, vail ofcourse. Guided browns canyon in summer. the rockies are beautiful and huge.

 

Climbed elbert and others.

 

my first year out there, peeps came and went. but after my second year, I found myself with my people. I basically just interacted with tourists and locals, did my thing, and my interests, outside sking(I ski Solomon) guided me.

 

I'm from Philly(essentially) and I found some philly peeps etc.

 

have fun man, tourist areas are tight. when you prove to be staying, others will come get you

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  • 2 weeks later...

Do you have a hostel in your city? In Europe, most cities has several hostels. I like staying at hostels because almost everyone is open for communication and you get to know very interesting people from other countries. It's the best place for me to socialize.

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Throw yourself a housewarming party & invite the neighbors. They are curious about the new person & want to snoop in your house. Not in a mean way but just to check you out. Plus you will then have a better sense of who belongs & who doesn't. Do invite some coworkers so you have some friendly faces. If yo are worried about safety, put all your valuables in a safe deposit box in the bank & perhaps invite a friend from back home to be there for the weekend.

 

Do join groups or organizations that do things you are interested in. Volunteer somewhere. Rescue animals. Raise money for the arts or to fight diseases. Get political. Just get involved.

 

Do go to MeetUp events, not just the singles ones but any ones that interest you.

 

Try to find alumni groups in your area from college etc. You already have something in common with them.

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