Jump to content

Inviting youself to the party


Totally OP

Recommended Posts

So I have a bit of an argument with a friend. I found out she was going to meet with someone, of whom we both hope some kind of blossoming relationship with. That person lives on another continent so we only rarely get to see each other. He, the "business guy" was apparently meeting with a group of friends at that time for some drinks.

 

Long story short, my friend claims, that she invited herself this meeting with friends.

 

That's when I called her out as a liar. IMHO; when someone tells you, that he or she is meeting with some friends, especially if you don't know these people and you're rather superficially acquainted, then you will not invite yourself to the party. I think it rude and impolite, since the other person hardly can say no:

 

..."Hey, is it for ok for me to join you at 8 o'clock?"...

 

Only if you really don't like that person or if it's impossible to come will you say no. But just because you don't hate someone or him/her being there isn't totally inappropriate doesn't mean he or she is wanted.

 

That's at least what I think.

 

So, am I totally mistaken? Is my friend likely lying or is she and a dick?

Or is inviting yourself to another group socially acceptable and I'm overthinking?

Link to post
Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic

I'm very confused about this whole story, but to answer the simple question of is it rude or not to invite yourself to someone else's party, it all depends. Definitely can be. But there are a lot of situations where it wouldn't be. This story is too confusing to try to give a good answer this time, though.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I don't understand the story. You called her a liar....what do you think she's lying about?

 

In regards to the etiquette of inviting yourself to a party, it's not something I would do. However, I wouldn't be overly bothered if someone else did it. And it does sound like her act of ignoring etiquette did get her what she wanted.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

ok, I'll give the whole story (thought reading to all of it would be too boring ;)

 

let's call her Q and the business person Z. I hope, that through Z I might get connections for a better job, Q hopes to meet 'important people'. Q and I live in Shanghai. Z thinks of Q and me as a group.

 

(Background: Q and I are away from Shanghai, Q will at some time go back on Day 2 and arrive later in the afternoon or in the night. She is busy, since she will leave for holidays in Day 3 in the morning. I plan to go back to Shanghai after lunch)

 

Day 1, around midnight:

Z contacted me, that he is in town and if we wanted to meet. I said, sure, I'd be available the next day from the afternoon on or the day after. Q would not be available (she constantly tells me tight her schedule is). Z replied, that the day after tomorrow would be fine.

 

Day 2, morning: Q casually mentions to others, that she is going to meet Z in the evening. Q and I go into different directions; after that I start to text her. I point out, that it's embarrassing for me, that I excuse Q for being busy, while she already made out a meeting with Z.

Q replied, that she had contact with Z after midnight, but I might join if I wanted. He was to meet with a couple of his friends. To that I replied, I had contact with him earlier, and since he didn't invite me, I'm not wanted there. At that point Q came up with this "inviting herself" thing. I replied, that no one invites him- or herself and that she's lying. We hadn't had talked to each other since then.

 

 

Neither she nor I do know Z that well and none of his friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites

somebody invited themselves to something of mine, it is difficult to say no, especially in front of others, tbh, it is not a "win" if you have to invite yourself

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...