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Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 9th November 2017, 5:09 AM   #16
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I guess I am differnet. I meet a new woman that I am dating. I am not going to be concerned with her male friends. At age 46. I am not into that. If would be one thing if JC and I had a romantic relationship and were on a heavy day to day basis.

Not a friendship where we only get together 4-5 times a year.
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Old 9th November 2017, 5:30 AM   #17
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I guess she was gung-ho about meeting you as usual but her bf put a spoke in the works.
The "thinking it over", "more comfortable", "respect" came across as stilted and weird as they were not really where she is at, but where her bf is at.
Those, I guess are his words and her reactions to his words.
This is his "big deal", not hers.
I guess she is peeved in reality. and embarrassed that this innocent meet up is seen by him as an excuse for her to cheat on him....

He, on the other hand, no doubt went "Wtf, who is this male "friend"?"
Although YOU and SHE know there is nothing going on, HE doesn't, so he is just mate guarding...
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Old 9th November 2017, 6:12 AM   #18
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Elaine. Your right on the money. I saw a pic of him. He does not seem that way. He has got to know that she has some male friends. She is with her GF's more than her Guy Friends. When we were planning things. She did not mention him. Its only a week or so after that plans were not finalized that she did this Operatic Txt.

I will meet him. I want to meet him. I just kind of wish she would have been a little bit more cut and dry.
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Old 9th November 2017, 10:47 AM   #19
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Hi Mysterio. You are thinking about this in the wrong way. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. You should not take it personally.

This girl is my hero. She is very cool and thoughtful. I wish my ex acted like her. My ex had a guy (gay friend she said) sleep over and never asked me if that would make me feel uncomfortable. Never offered to have me meet the guy. Nothing. Just told me it was going to happen. It completely sunk our relationship. I never trusted her after that.

Basically your girl "friend" is dating someone she cares about. Out of respect for HIM (this has nothing to do with you) she doesn't want HIM to feel uncomfortable in any way. This is about her relationship with him and making HIM feel comfortable. That is her #1 priority in life and that is the way it should be. She is doing the right thing. Your reply should be "Sure whatever makes you feel comfortable". Don't analyze it any more than that. She is probably acting the same way towards any male friend in her life. This is not anything unique or personal with you.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 3:45 AM   #20
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I saw JC today and I talked about the meaning behind the txt. I peppered the txt with humour and she said it was basically the BF that structured her txt that way.

He felt odd with her having a male friend. Even though I am one of 3. She is having problems with him and they are on the verge of a break up. It will happen as he was supposed to meet me today and he bailed.

So I said that I would not do that, but she stated that some couples are not that flexable. She really seemed down about him.

Anyways. I wanted to update.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 7:23 AM   #21
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This is likely coming from the boyfriend. I'm in a relationship of 5 months and most of my friends are men. My guy doesn't really have opposite sex friends, he's been cheated on a couple of times, etc. I've been the person dropped many times when my friends have gotten girlfriends despite have zero interest in my friends romantically, so I'm not willing to get rid of friendships now that I'm in a relationship.

We had a discussion just the other day and I could tell the idea of me having opposite sex friends made him a bit uncomfortable. I offered that he can come along with me when I meet up with any of them (I see these people every couple of months, like your situation with JC), and that I'd like him to be integrated into my friendship circles anyway over time. But if he doesn't want to join me I'm not going to stop attending annual BBQs or other events.

So, I think JC is doing this so that everyone knows the friendship is above board and platonic and to help her man feel more secure.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 2:50 PM   #22
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JC and I only get together 4 times a yr. No pics of us on Facebook. For me. I thought it was her doing this akward txt. It was her basically apeasing the BF. JC is 36 and she is wanting to settle down. Thats why she is putting up with this. Although for him. D just lost her now.

I said she should give him this month of Feb to make things right. Just from what I hear of him. He would have to make a major turn around.

I have female friends and when I have a GF there will be no major issue going out with them. Only JC/DS are the ones I go out with. JK is my friends wife and we only go out with him. Unless he is running late. AG lives in the states and AM is in Austrailia.

So there is no issue.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 3:27 PM   #23
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I would not be happy at all to find out that my gf was talking about our relationship problems with another man. That's something she should talk about with her closest girl friends if she needs to talk about it.
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."
George Eliot
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Old 2nd February 2018, 8:10 PM   #24
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All she talked about is that he was supposed to come out with us and bailed at the last minute.

I don't know major details other than that.
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