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Down to earth close friend to egotistic distant acquaintance

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Old 8th October 2017, 8:02 AM   #1
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Down to earth close friend to egotistic distant acquaintance

Hi All.

Looking to get your opinions on the following situation.

I had a close friend you was in a bad place in terms of depression etc.

I helped him to get a job at a company I was working at in order to get him some focus and get him back on track and active.

First year or so of him in the role was great and I noticed a real difference in him. Was really pleased to see him in such a positive place.

He then mentioned to me he was seeing a coach, aka a life coach. I wondered why at the time.

Then thing started to get a bit strange. On a night out be began to start telling me how my life wasn't good enough and how I needed to start doing this at that. Albeit I didn't take this very well and told him where to go as I was in a very good place in life.

He began to start cutting people out of his life, certain friends but not me. He wouldn't go to many social things with people he would usually hang out with etc.

Over the last year he has recently gone a bit over the top in my opinion. Whenever he did meet up with people he would be going over the top with positivity to the point where it seemed blantently ungenuine . He would big up how well he is supposedly doing in work and over egging how well things are going.

One thing that has been very irritating is that when someone says something they have done or been involved with he will then try to say something to make himself sound better than the person.

It has gotten to the point where I no longer enjoy talking to him or being in his company.

He only talks about work to people, and lies about things happening at work to make himself sound amazing. He also seems to be repeating the same things over and over again and has an obsession with money (telling people how much his brother earns in the us etc and over egging his position).

It got to the point where I told him I'm not interested in talking about work.

I feel it's quite sad how a person I got on well with and could trust has now turned into a false person that I find hard to trust.

I feel ever since the life coaching it has put him in a sort on unrealistic trance.

Any ideas how I could approach a revival of this relationship?
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Old 8th October 2017, 1:22 PM   #2
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Before there was life coaching, there were motivational speakers and authors and I can tell you although I can see the value in learning some things from them, especially if you are not good socially, those who tried to walk the walk exactly came off as fake and predictable. I got real tired of it shortly after some guys went on some sort of seminar or retreat that I had to work with. All using the same manipulative gestures and words. Yuck.

I have a friend who spouts positivity and I had to really tell her to stop. She used the excuse that she was doing it for herself to make herself feel better and I told her, then don't say it out loud because it's insulting. I told her nothing was more negative than conveying to people that weren't positive or were somehow slacking because they weren't painting the world with rainbows and unicorns. I was the to point I was ready to walk away but talking to her did help some. Hurt her feelings and made her mad, but she'd done that to me plenty of times. So just tell him you don't like what he's become and why you find it unpleasant.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 10th October 2017, 4:31 PM   #3
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Thanks for your response.

Yeah I think I need to say something. I am a bit concerned it could lead him back down towards a depressive road so I need to be careful what I say. There seems to be an unawareness of the situation from him as well as I haven't really responded to his chat about work as I don't want him to then go off on another bull**** story. But he doesn't seem to register it.

Anyone else with any similar experiences?
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Old 14th October 2017, 9:52 PM   #4
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I had a good friend for 30+ years. We knew each other from the time we started grade school. He was the same old guy until he became part owner in a business, then it went to his head and he became cocky. He started interrupting people when they talked as if they didn't even matter, regaling them with stories of his greatness. Everything was about him. Talking to him became a chore, and I finally left that friendship far behind and never looked back. I haven't spoken to him in 5 years.
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