carnelian Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Recently, I drove a lady home from work with her husband's approval. We had been friendly at work,nothing personal. She is in her fifties and I had no desire for anything more than work friends.(Not my type, I am single. So I mention that I was low on gas. Then I told her that I remember my parents telling me that long ago men would say that on a date, just so they could" park the car"--and you know. Then she turns to me and says "don't park." I was stunned and said nothing. It did even occur to me to do that. Nothing ever happened of course. Am I right--she was thinking that I want to make out? Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 wow escalated right up the awkward tree to the top huh? should have laughed when she said don't park. was it silence after that? You are probably wrong because who knows. She could have been joking, you could have been joking. Who's the socially awkward one in this car? You? Her? Both? Tone and timing are everything and I am not sure where it was in this case. BUT, the fact you have to defend yourself and came here to ask advice about it makes me think perhaps you DID want something? A non-issue banter small talk thing and you need to justify it here with us? Hmmm. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 You made a remark that could be taken as flirtatious. She responded in kind. She was not thinking that you wanted to make out with her. Relax. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
InvisiBlonde Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I wasn't there, of course, and I also don't know how old you are compared to her, but I'm assuming you weren't giving her some Groucho Marx-type leer when you said that. I woulda been laughing out loud in her place. You were wryly remembering a long-ago bit of excellent advice for how to conduct yourself like a gentleman (by being taught how some genuinely-innocent thing might be misconstrued by a lady). Most girls are given similar advice when they first start going out alone with boys: Always have enough cash to get yourself home if things get out of hand; he doesn't really want to show you his "etchings;" no, he will not get "sick" from having blue balls; etc. To be fair to your friend, she might have had some really-unpleasant experience in similar circumstances. A thing like that is one thing that would explain her Shut-You-Down reaction. IMO, IT WASN'T YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Eh, it was an awkward joke on your part. Permission from her husband? This was discussed?! The whole thing sounds a bit awkward the way you presented it. Like the fact that you were a man and a woman in a car was a big deal. Got permission, made you think about warnings about mixed sexes in cars…. I get rides from my (male) boss all the time. I didn’t really seek “permission” from my husband to do so. I would never expect him to seek my permission to share a ride with a coworker, regardless of their sex. And yes he often stops of gas (Tuesdays!) – if he had said what you did, he would have gotten an uncomfortable laugh from me. The line is HARD between us, and strictly professional. Lots of joking, but zero of it is about flirting, or sex, or any of that – you just don’t go there. What do you think would have been an appropriate, non flirty response from her? I can think of awkward “don’t park,” or an uncomfortable laugh, or flirty “oh no, we defiantly shouldn’t park then” Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Most girls are given similar advice when they first start going out alone with boys: Always have enough cash to get yourself home if things get out of hand; he doesn't really want to show you his "etchings;" no, he will not get "sick" from having blue balls; etc. . sure - but this shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with a ride share between platonic co-workers. The subject of sex should be consciously avoided. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InvisiBlonde Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I didn't say it should. I was talking about trading anecdotes. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Many people put out "feelers" in a non-intrusive manner as a way to gauge whether or not the other person is interested in more...in this case, more than a ride home. (You have already stated that was not your intention, so the moment got a little misconstrued.) Rather than laughing it off or beating around the bush, she defined the boundary so there would be no misgivings. It was an awkward moment that turned even more awkward by the silence that followed. In the future, rather than going silent, just be honest and state that your comment wasn't meant that way...just reminiscing about the past. Hopefully doing so will ease the tension. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
InvisiBlonde Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Many people put out "feelers" in a non-intrusive manner as a way to gauge whether or not the other person is interested in more...in this case, more than a ride home. (You have already stated that was not your intention, so the moment got a little misconstrued.) Rather than laughing it off or beating around the bush, she defined the boundary so there would be no misgivings. It was an awkward moment that turned even more awkward by the silence that followed. In the future, rather than going silent, just be honest and state that your comment wasn't meant that way...just reminiscing about the past. Hopefully doing so will ease the tension. I agree, and I'll remember this for myself. Sometimes it's best to escort that elephant right back out! Link to post Share on other sites
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