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Dive Bars/Hole-in-the-Wall Venue.


PrinceAli94

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PrinceAli94

I'm been hanging out at a dive and this curious concert building where rock/electronic/hip-hop shows are put on, was invited by a long time friend and former fling. I've met a bunch of cool people and they're all really nice and interesting for the most part, but something about the atmosphere is telling me to leave it alone.

 

All the second hand smoke, the booze, the constant late nights into the early mornings...I'm not from this world, and can't help but feel I'm making a personnel compromise in trying to assimilate myself into the group.

 

On top of that, there's my old "buddy". We dated a couple of summers ago but I think she likes keeping me around as a reserve guy, or maybe she likes the indirect attention I give her by being around. Not good enough to be the boyfriend, but perfect at enhancing her social life.

 

It's all painfully tempting, the scene is full of new opportunities with ladies and to make friends..and this town is pretty small so if I let it go it's tantamount to embracing solitude. Am I being a sqaure/stiff? Or having a prescient intimation?

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On top of that, there's my old "buddy". We dated a couple of summers ago but I think she likes keeping me around as a reserve guy, or maybe she likes the indirect attention I give her by being around. Not good enough to be the boyfriend, but perfect at enhancing her social life.

 

Is there a reason you're suspicious of her motives? Maybe she just likes having you as a friend.

 

Since you say this is one of the only opportunities you have for socializing, can you keep attending, just go home early and don't drink? Maybe you can form friendships with some of these people and eventually start doing other things with them, and can go to the club less.

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Not good enough to be the boyfriend, but perfect at enhancing her social life.

 

This ^ is the definition of "friend". Someone who's company you enjoy, but you're not romantically attracted to them. Of course, you don't have to have her as a friend if you don't want to.

 

If you're happy to have her as a friend and enjoy the environment, keep going. I fail to see how the environment would harm you. But if you don't enjoy it, then stop going and find friends who do what you enjoy.

 

What do you enjoy doing?

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PrinceAli94
Is there a reason you're suspicious of her motives? Maybe she just likes having you as a friend.

 

Since you say this is one of the only opportunities you have for socializing, can you keep attending, just go home early and don't drink? Maybe you can form friendships with some of these people and eventually start doing other things with them, and can go to the club less.

 

There is reason, we've known each other for 6 years and I feel she goes out of her way to reinforce the fact that we're just friends (indirect comments about the friendzone etc)

 

It's weird because I'm no longer romantically interested in her at all, but it gets on my nerves when she plays off of our past history in that manner. Just getting the impression that she thinks I'm in her pocket or something. I tried bucking conventional thinking in so far as going NC with an EX, mainly because I found closure and didn't see any reason to lose a good friend. But the way she's been acting recently, she must think I've still got the hots for her.

 

This ^ is the definition of "friend". Someone who's company you enjoy, but you're not romantically attracted to them. Of course, you don't have to have her as a friend if you don't want to.

 

I guess the goal is to try and form new social circles without her, whereas before we'd hang all the time and share mutual friends. It'll seem like I'm kicking up sand though, in saying "Don't invite so-and-so" whilst simultaneously ignoring/avoiding her out in town. So I've gotta make all new friends for the most part with only so much space at the watering hole.

Edited by PrinceAli94
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