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I think this guy took me wrong. Idk if i should just explain to him, or back off?


JESSICABOWELS

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JESSICABOWELS

So a few weeks ago I went to a friend's bdaywith my kiddos. I recently got back with my ex, father's of my children. Anyways my friend messages me, asking if I'm single, and that a certain guy at the party was a little interested in me. I asked who, and said I did get back with my ex.

 

A few days later, I messaged him via FB said Hey! (I am not trying to hook up, date, or cheat -- i don't have a lot of friends though. I messaged him for conversation. He says "You look familiar." "You're the quiet girl from the party" etc. I just asked him what he was doing. He said he wished me luck with my relationship etc.

 

Then somewhere in the convo he says "What did you expect me to say when u contacted me lol". I said "nothing". so he goes "Well I don't ignore pretty woman... So saying nothing would be dumb"

 

and so i said --> lol i didn't think conversation hurt anyone? but i wasn't trying to bug u, or intrude.

 

Haha you are something else <-- is what he replied.

 

I told him I'm confused, i didnt get why he was acting like that.

 

Don't be.. well thank you for contacting me I'll ttyl best of luck <-- so he says this.

 

 

Woooah. I'm sorry for making you angry by saying Hi. lol alrighty then. <-- i respond with this.

 

He says... I'm far from angry lol just trying to figure you out

so I said -->lol idk what i'm saying to come off so bad

 

Then he ssays, -->You aren't coming off bad.. I'll start over

Hi I'm Jacob lol

 

he read me saying my name and hasnt said anything since. what did i do? i wasn't trying to have a side guy, or cheat. I don't have time for that, ick! I have trouble making friends though, and him having kids definitely was cool because my kids got along with his. I just feel embarassed right now.:(

 

i have problems with being SUPER shy, and for me facebook, or texting etc is easier for me to be able to communicate you know. i did NOT contact to hook up etc, esp with us having a mutual friend, and the fact that cheating is wrong. Ick

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What in gods name makes you think it would be a good idea to pursue a man who has shown interest to become your friend? He wanted to date you possibly not get friend zoned. He was being polite and basically trying to tell you to leave him alone. He knows you have a bf, he's being a stand up guy here.

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JESSICABOWELS
What in gods name makes you think it would be a good idea to pursue a man who has shown interest to become your friend? He wanted to date you possibly not get friend zoned. He was being polite and basically trying to tell you to leave him alone. He knows you have a bf, he's being a stand up guy here.

 

 

I figure why not be friends esp with having a mutual friend! If he wanted me to leave him alone, he should've just not replied. I didn't intend something wrong, and its actually super embarrassing because i didn't realize how it looked until after.

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Well, he wasn't asking about you to be your friend. That's why he's thinking you're crazy. Guys reach out it's because they just want to see if a romantic situation with you will go anywhere, not to become your friend. And now he knows you're back with your ex, so I mean, he just doesn't understand why you are reaching out at all. What's he to think? That you want to cheat on your ex? Or that you only want to be friends? He doesn't want either of those things, so he's rolling his eyes now.

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JESSICABOWELS
Well, he wasn't asking about you to be your friend. That's why he's thinking you're crazy. Guys reach out it's because they just want to see if a romantic situation with you will go anywhere, not to become your friend. And now he knows you're back with your ex, so I mean, he just doesn't understand why you are reaching out at all. What's he to think? That you want to cheat on your ex? Or that you only want to be friends? He doesn't want either of those things, so he's rolling his eyes now.

 

Ookay, jeez. I get he doesn't want to be friends now, but i personally didnt want to sleep with him and dont see why he was so rude to me. I don't even get the point of him saying "let's start over, and introducing himself." Why even bother then.

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He was interested in dating you, not "friending" you.

 

Your message to him was odd "hi not looking to cheat, let's me friends".

 

How about this. Let's say your guy hears that a woman was interested in dating him, and he reached out to her and said, hey let's be friends, I want to get to know you better.

 

How would you feel about that? About your partner looking to start a friendship with a woman who wants to persue him for a romantic relationship.

 

Does that make sense?

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JESSICABOWELS
He was interested in dating you, not "friending" you.

 

Your message to him was odd "hi not looking to cheat, let's me friends".

 

How about this. Let's say your guy hears that a woman was interested in dating him, and he reached out to her and said, hey let's be friends, I want to get to know you better.

 

How would you feel about that? About your partner looking to start a friendship with a woman who wants to persue him for a romantic relationship.

 

Does that make sense?

 

No i can understand that. my boyfriend isnt mad though.

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