high cost of events?

[d0nnivain]

I saw an old friend on Friday. She said her & her BF were going to a beer festival near my home on Saturday. My husband likes beer & I would have liked to spend more time with my friend so I said we'd go without checking the costs of the tickets. When I looked they were sky high because it was last minute. Had we known about the event earlier there had been discounts, including a 2 for 1 groupon which sold out the month before & even $20 off for liking the event on FB. None of that was available the day of.

 

 

Given the high cost we decided to skip it but I only bailed on our friends hours before. They went anyway because her BF's brother was working the event & he got them in free.

 

 

I haven't spoken to my friend yet today. I'm supposed to go to her house tomorrow.

 

 

But I feel bad.

 

 

What would you have done? Bought the really expensive tickets or bailed?

 

 

FWIW, DH & I went out to dinner & then to a bar to see some live music last night & only spent about 2/3 of what the beer festival tickets would have cost us, plus I got to drink wine, which I prefer to beer. Food at the festival would have been extra.

[Popsicle]

This tends to depend on whether your friends think you have the money or not. Yes, it becomes hard to justify stating that something cost too much when they see you spending money on other haphazard discretionary things. So then they realize that you just didn't like the event and didn't want to go, or just didn't want to hang out with them.

 

Even still, they should get over it. People don't always want to go to things you have invited them too. I'd refrain next time from blaming it on the cost and just say you'll pass and have other plans.

[d0nnivain]

I'd refrain next time from blaming it on the cost and just say you'll pass and have other plans.

 

 

We had the money. We just didn't want to spend that much money on that kind of festival. It was the value proposition. What it would cost us to attend that wasn't worth it to us, even with the added value of spending time with the other couple.

 

 

I couldn't say we had other plans. I said yes to those plans before I found out the cost. After discovering the cost, I backed out at the last minute. I was bad for not asking about the cost before agreeing to attend. When I told my friend she was a bit shocked at how expensive the tickets were' remember she got in for free.

 

 

My friend wasn't mad or anything. We've been friends for 40+ years. This isn't even a problem.

 

 

I just wondered what others would have done in the situation.

[preraph]

I think you did the right thing and your friends will understand. Just tell them you were going to go but last-minute tickets were sky-high so you decided to do something else fun instead.

 

I got into a kind of event/money jam a while back. One of my exes who is married with kids and I share love of some of the same music so we've gone to a couple of things, one with and one without his wife. He likes to take charge. So in the past, it wasn't that expensive. But our favorite artist was here. I wasn't really worrying about tickets yet. Didn't know when they went on sale but didn't think it would be that early. He knew better.

 

So one day I was out of state doing physical therapy (no smartphone) and when I get home, he's been frantically trying to reach me because he's buying tickets and I'm who first told him the date of the show because I get email about it from the artist's management. So he left messages and emails wanting to know the fan "password." Well, I've never used that before or knew about it. In the past, I was always given tickets because of being in the business and haven't been buying too many tickets.

 

So I got home and sure enough, I have the password on an email and give it to him. He buys 4 tickets, him and his wife, me and his cousin. But he buys the best tickets, which was logical it being our favorite old band. They were kind of expensive for my budget. If I'd gotten my own, I'd have put them on my charge card. Instead, he put them on his and then I owe him cash, which made me a little strapped and all.

 

And then it got even more complicated because apparently he didn't tell his wife ahead of time -- and SHE decided to surprise him and bought them just two tickets for them. So now they have too many tickets. Well, it put me in an awkward position because the cousin absorbed one of the tickets and bought a pair -- and I know they both just thought I'd say "Oh, well, I'll buy both of them," but the only person I knew who'd have spent money on it had to work that night, and I didn't really want to depend on him anyway to pay me back as he's loosey goosey even about picking up a lunch tab.

 

So it put me on the spot, but there was no way I was going to have to buy two tickets.

 

I mean, I felt bad, but

1) We hadn't discussed going together when he decided to buy tickets.

2) He has money so it never occurred to him I might be short on cash money.

3) I'm not the one who screwed this up. Neither one of them communicated with each other and they share a house, for Christ sake.

 

And then on top of that, I was having trouble walking and where we were seated down front was perilous for me to get to, no handrail or anything. So it was kind of a mess. And I think it has caused some tension, too. He acted weird at the show. He did end up selling a ticket, he said, but then when I saw who he sold it to, the guy said he was sitting elsewhere, so I think he might have gotten burned on it. But it certainlty wasn't may fault.

[d0nnivain]

In the end I think we made the right decision. Although I haven't spoken to the friends who invited us, apparently a lot of our circle was there. Everyone I did speak to say it wasn't worth it & we didn't miss much.

 

 

Now I'm just sad that they all apparently had this plan for a while & got the cheaper early tickets. I know why we were left out -- because it's not really my thing -- but I hate that they make these decisions without asking.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I'd have done the same thing you did, explaining to my friends that when you decided to go you didn't realize how expensive the tickets were.

 

There are a lot of wealthy people who refrain from spending money on a thing or on an event just because it feels overpriced to them. There is no need for them to justify their decision to anyone.

 

Seems to me the financial decision of choices we make is pretty subjective most of the time and hard to explain to others. Most of the time we just accept the financial decisions our friends make without wading into the decision making process with them unless they request our input. We all have enough financial decisions to think about without trying to decipher the validity of our friends' financial decisions!

 

You can show your friends you value your time spent with them in another way and a true friend won't even question your call on this.