Nosy, ultrasensitive friend - HELP!! I want to end the friendship sometimes!

[freebird]

I have a friend who I've known for a long time. We are VERY different people and people often wonder why we are friends. I like her because although we are very different, we still get along. She is very sensitive, shy, short, very overweight, negative and cheap! She is, however, generous with her time WHEN she and I do something she enjoys doing. If I want to do something that she does not care for, she often says, shes too shy or has social anxiety about going out in public.

 

I've learned to accept this and realize I can't make make her do anything. however, recently, she's gotten to the point where she is taking everything I say to extremes. If I give her business advice, she thinks I think she stupid. If I speak frankly, she gets offended.

 

Worse, she does not work. She can't even find a job since she feels she is not qualified to do anthing, YET, she often gives me advice on how to better my life!! I don't get it.

 

Last night, she asked me how much money I made. I am sick of walking on eggshells around her. While we have known each other for about 20 years, I'm realizing I don't TRULY know her since we've always been casual friends and not the closest friends. The issue is I moved home after being away for a long long time and all my best friends live in other states.

 

Do I stay and hang around with her, or slowly disengage from the friendship. Any advice on any of the above would be helpful!!

 

Guess I'm just sick of her princess, spoiled ways!! and yet, she calls everyone else spoileD!! HELP ME!

[Pocky]

If you dislike her then stop pursuing a friendship with her. If you honestly don't feel you'd be losing anything if she were no longer in your life then I don't see any reason for you to remain friends. If all you can see are the negative points and all she tends to do is irritate you, there's not much of a friendship there anyway.

 

If you want to spare the "we're not going to be friends anymore" talk then just stop inviting her, stop returning calls and stop pursuing a friendship.

 

I've had to let a friendship eventually fade after a year I realized that I really didn't like the person.

[Firesqueak]

yeah, I agree Pocky.

 

Sometimes, if you are in a toxic relationship, you just have to distance yourself. I have learned that the very hard way, because sometimes you feel that the person needs you, or whatever.

 

When I was in that situation, I just stopped returning calls. If M wanted to hang out, I'd make up an excuse why I couldn't. Of course, I did sit her down prior to this so that I could tell her why I was going to be backing away. I was polite, but very firm. She got upset, did some hystronics, but then was calling again the next day. I ignored it like I said I was going to do.

 

 

But, they did just fine before you came into the picture, and they'll keep going after you've moved on.

 

Besides, maybe you need to meet some new, interesting people.