Sad and friendless

[sickoflove11]

I think I'm just a really bad friend. I basically have no friends. I can't hold on to any of my past friends. I figure we are all living our own lives and it is just not as convenient to hang out with each other anymore. Whenever they come into town they never contact me and I'd be more than willing to meet up with them.

 

I generally spend my time around people I work with because I see them most. But once they quit or move somewhere else, we pretty much stop talking or spending time together. It's just not as convenient for me. I am very anti social, have a lot of anxiety, and don'y really mind spending time alone. At the same time, I do get very lonely. I see everyone dating or having holiday parties with friends and I'm always alone. I realize I could put more of an effort but I just don't. I think something is wrong with me. Maybe I am depressed or just don't enjoy other people? They always seem to let me down and it doesn't seem worth it to me to put myself through that hurt over and over.

 

Am I weird? What's wrong with me? Can anyone related to or understand what I am saying? I'm only in my 20's and this is already my life... sad and friendless.

[Satu]

Sorry that you're hurting.

 

 

You have to build things from the bottom up.

 

 

That means engaging with all the people you come into contact with, even if that contact is relatively brief and mundane.

 

It means engaging with the librarian who checks out your books, the guy in the health food shop, the person who makes your coffee, your neighbours, the lady at the dry cleaners.

 

People love to be noticed and acknowledged, as a person.

 

"Hi, how are you today?" can make a real difference to how a person feels.

 

Then they reflect it back to you.

 

It's out of these encounters that friendships grow.

 

Give everyone a little bit of your inner sweetness.

 

They will give a little of theirs to you.

 

Everyone is enriched.

 

But we always have to make the first step ourselves.

 

From my journal:

 

 

"To be loved, be loving.

To find peace, be peaceful.

To find forgiveness, be forgiving.

To be cared about, be caring.

To be treated kindly, be kind.

To be understood, be understanding.

To have friends, be friendly."

 

 

Share your sweetness.

 

 

Take care.