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Introducing New GF to Rude Friends


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Old 22nd November 2016, 7:52 AM   #1
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Introducing New GF to Rude Friends

We have a party coming up soon with old time friends from my married days. We rarely keep in touch because almost every time we get together and I have a new GF they are blatantly rude to her and make comments to me (in front of her) "gee, you are like a revolving door", "Who's this one?", "I didn't know you had ANOTHER GF".

Originally they were my best friends from our married days. Ive been shocked by the way they acted so Ive completely distanced myself from them. So now I'm going to a party with a new GF and I will definitely see them there.

Should I warn GF in advance? Should I contact these people and ask the to be nice?

They are the only ones in the crowd I am worried about, based on past history
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Old 22nd November 2016, 8:08 AM   #2
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If they are rude to you like that then put them in their place, don't take crap like that from anybody and they are no longer your friends.. obviously...

A friend wouldn't disparage a person you are dating.

I would mention it to your GF, say something like they are rude and seem to not use a filter rather than bring up that they are from your marriage and have taken to your ex's side.
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Old 22nd November 2016, 8:38 AM   #3
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They are just jealous because you are single and dating and they are in boring marriages. Come up with some rude things to say back to them when they are rude to you.
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Old 22nd November 2016, 11:23 AM   #4
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I'd give her a heads-up but don't bother asking them to be nice - that'd be like putting a target on your face for ppl like that. And like Art says, if they actually step too far, check them. At some point your self-respect (and her dignity) is threatened by that nonsense and you can't have that in a significant way.

Really if it's such a risk you should avoid them completely and not go anywhere they are.

(Also I don't know your GF but she might be perfectly capable of handling them herself.)
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Old 22nd November 2016, 1:06 PM   #5
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I just went through this with the new guy and met his married friends. They weren't rude but they weren't warm either.

I would warn her so it doesn't catch her off guard. I know for me I would likely bite my tongue at those things so that I didn't cause a scene so I would encourage you to stand up to them being your friends if they get too out of hand. I know for myself, I would likely remove myself as much as possible and talk to you rather than cause a scene directly with your friends and leave you to deal with them.
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Old 22nd November 2016, 1:16 PM   #6
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Given their history, rude behavior, and desire to sabotage or undermine you, I'd definitely give her a heads-up. You know what they say about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure? That probably applies here. Also, I agree with not warning your friends. Most likely, that would egg them on to dish on you even more so.
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Old 22nd November 2016, 5:05 PM   #7
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Yes, warn your girlfriend. But I would caution you to not use the word "friends". "People I used to hang out with" or "they used to be friends" or similar would be fine.

Don't warn these people. And please stand up for your girlfriend (or walk away from them) if they are rude to her.
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Old 22nd November 2016, 5:27 PM   #8
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I would tell your girlfriend that they are always jealous that you have a girlfriend, ever since grade school, and not to be shocked when they are rude about it. Then I'd tell them, "Hey, have some manners, it's not her fault you're jealous asshats."
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Old 22nd November 2016, 6:25 PM   #9
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I used to consider them very good friends but enough of these incidents have happened (of course when you arent expecting it).

Ive pretty much shut these "friends" out of my life and will walk in to the party completely ready - which means all will go well and without incident.

Definitely going to give GF a "heads up". She can handle herself but she shouldnt have to and there's no way they will get away with any rude comments.

Last edited by Otter2569; 22nd November 2016 at 6:29 PM..
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Old 22nd November 2016, 9:58 PM   #10
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Don't encourage these people. If there are going to be others to talk to, talk to them... I wouldn't deliberately seek out these so called friends or make any pretenses with them. If they're that kind of people they shouldn't be in your life.
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Old 23rd November 2016, 6:43 AM   #11
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Looking back it had happened with 2 of 3 former GF's. The two were petite, pretty, fashionably dressed and college educated. The one that fit in was more of a "local" person.

Still no excuse and still not acceptable by any means.
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