LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Friendship

Friend/coworker made a comment today that I didn't like


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Like Tree41Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12th December 2016, 4:03 AM   #31
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,162
Quote:
Originally Posted by LargoLagg View Post
It sounds a lot more like Lucy teeing up the football, Charlie Brown.
I'm familiar with the Peanuts characters, but this idiom escapes me. Care to elaborate?

FTR, I don't think she has a crush on me whatsoever, or that any of this is due to any sort of sexual tension, lol. She rejected me in early 2015 when I asked her out. If she ever changed her mind about dating me at any point then surely she would have made it clear.

I think I simply shared too much with her, and when you spend 5 days out of the week with someone, some issue is bound to crop up sooner or later.

Usually, good friends can reassess a situation properly and carry on with the friendship. But in hindsight it was clear I was more invested in the friendship and so, I'm happy ending it for all intents and purposes.

Working on controlling my boundaries and not giving anyone my "heart" so to speak so easily.
Teknoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th January 2017, 3:09 AM   #32
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,162
Update: We got on speaking/friendly terms again. Even started texting once in a while.

However, Friday set the "friendship" back. I came into her work space trying to bless her. She had been going through some stuff and a mutual friend of ours told me to tell her an anecdote that might shed wisdom on her situation. I came with the intent to do that. By the end of the convo, it turned awkward because the gym issue got brought up and I said "I thought we hashed that out." She said she didn't think so because in her words "You got butt hurt and have been avoiding me ever since."

Wow. Just wow.

So fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I don't need to be friends with this person any more. Professional, yes. Always. But never am I going out of my way to talk with her again.

I still can't believe she used the word "butt hurt." If she was really about hashing things out, then she wouldn't have invalidated my feelings as such. A simple "Did my comment bother you that much?" would have been a nice way to start the conversation/hash out. You don't say to someone "You got butt hurt and avoided me."
Teknoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th February 2017, 6:25 AM   #33
Established Member
 
Miss Clavel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 862
why, for the love of god, didn't you just skip the gym!!??

go to her and tell her that taking time for both the gym and the game was kinda greedy. own it. drop it. move on.
__________________
take aim. reload.
Miss Clavel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th February 2017, 5:40 PM   #34
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,083
Yeah I would just distance myself, she's being pretty unreasonable.

I also wouldn't have left work early but anyhow.
dispatch3d is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st March 2017, 2:18 AM   #35
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teknoe View Post
Update: We got on speaking/friendly terms again. Even started texting once in a while.

However, Friday set the "friendship" back. I came into her work space trying to bless her. She had been going through some stuff and a mutual friend of ours told me to tell her an anecdote that might shed wisdom on her situation. I came with the intent to do that. By the end of the convo, it turned awkward because the gym issue got brought up and I said "I thought we hashed that out." She said she didn't think so because in her words "You got butt hurt and have been avoiding me ever since."

Wow. Just wow.

So fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I don't need to be friends with this person any more. Professional, yes. Always. But never am I going out of my way to talk with her again.

I still can't believe she used the word "butt hurt." If she was really about hashing things out, then she wouldn't have invalidated my feelings as such. A simple "Did my comment bother you that much?" would have been a nice way to start the conversation/hash out. You don't say to someone "You got butt hurt and avoided me."
Bro i've been in your shoes and i've learned the hard way: if someone constantly disrespects you and throw passive agressive insults at you, even if sometimes they are nice its NOT worth it, run far away. Don't avoid her, but don't go out of your way to talk to her. A quick nod when you see her to show you aren't mad but don't engage in small talk. If she talks to you be polite but don't ask open ended questions. Don't respond to her unless she is talking to you directly. If she says something to put you down in front of other co workers when you weren't talking to her, come with a comeback.
La Trese is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd November 2017, 2:51 AM   #36
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,162
Just a quick update on the situation. The one year anniversary of the "incident" passed recently (see first post) and Stranger Things 2 got it right. It's funny how the one year mark can trigger flashback memories.

I've been at a new better job since August, so thank goodness I've been able to split from her. She still reaches out on text once in a while, but this past weekend I was reading a post about a girl's BF teasing/bullying her and somehow it triggered me to think of my old "friend."

I felt a heaviness and finally did what I knew I should have done a while back: I defriended her on FB. After doing so, a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. I normally don't care to defriend anyone, but this shows you how bad our "friendship" got in the past 2 years that I just had to break things off completely. She was really a bad friend to me and I took her abuse for years. It did teach me a lot though, especially now that I am in a loving relationship based on respect. That even further highlighted how badly I let this "friend" treat me. Good riddance!
Teknoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st June 2018, 10:13 PM   #37
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,162
Update: since deleting her from FB, my life has been so much better. She has not texted me since last summer. I'm sure she found out I defriended her, and I'm sure she understands why.

That whole experience with her taught me a lot about myself and life. If someone is abusing you or making you the butt of jokes, it's time to walk out and never look back.
Teknoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd June 2018, 10:45 PM   #38
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 19,229
She might not even have known you were gone if you hadn't said something.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th June 2018, 3:32 AM   #39
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,162
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
She might not even have known you were gone if you hadn't said something.
Maybe, but I'm pretty sure she kept tabs. Last we talked, she knew I just got a new girlfriend, and I'm sure out of morbid curiosity she looked me up at some point, especially when we were texting on a daily basis prior to the fall out. FTR, she's told me in the past that she has had many issues crop up with different friends. Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Teknoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Thinking about a comment that a friend made... purplesoccer34 Friendship 8 16th August 2016 2:10 PM
Comment made Angel29 Dating 3 22nd March 2015 7:59 PM
Friend made a comment about my ex crederer Breaks and Breaking Up 7 15th June 2013 2:55 AM
bf made this comment and im freakin out a bit tara.tang Dating 2 11th September 2009 12:49 PM
Comment Made parentdetective Business and Professional Relationships 13 30th April 2006 10:41 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:57 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.