Lady2163 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 (edited) A few months ago, I bought my dream house. I have more room than I could ever use. It took me a long time to get here and I had to sacrifice a lot. I chose not to have kids, I was a workaholic and I went 2.5 years without a full 24 hours off. I was able to buy my house and retire early. I have a friend who came to visit for a few days. We aren't super close. She stayed longer than what I wanted and she would like to move into my finished basement in 8-10 months. We had talked about this before I moved and I was onboard with it. But, after spending the time together, I just don't want her as a roommate. We are just too different. There's a few warning signs. She makes good money, not great money, but good. My basement is almost 1000 square feet. She asked me what I would charge for rent. Most one bedroom apartments in the area are less than 400 square feet. So, while she would have to " share" a kitchen, she's getting something twice the size and only has to share the washer/dryer with one other person. I told her to check out what one bedroom apartments cost in the area. She got huffy. "Well, if you're going to charge THAT much, I might as well get my own place." I wasn't planning to charge her for utilities, Internet or cable. So, that's a warning sign. She's a different socio economic status than I am. I was raised upper middle class and I am upper middle class. I'm educated. I have different manners and expectations from people. I was raised in a small town, but I've been all over the world. She was raised poor and is still poor. Her folks lived in different rental houses, always in the country. Country life is different than big city living and even different than living in a small town. Plus, she told me a couple houses her folks rented were condemned after they moved out. When she was here visiting, I fixed most of the meals. We went out a couple of times. One time we had gone to do something and she wanted to come home and eat lunch. I knew I would be cooking supper, I'd already made breakfast. She was pretty resistant to spending money on lunch. I was also doing all of,the clean up from meal preparation. She never once offered to help me. She didn't treat me to a meal. She didn't even buy me a dessert when we stopped at a specialty bakery. She didn't bring a hostess gift (a bottle of wine, a candle, etc.). Essentially, I got to wait on her hand and foot and she had several free meals and was catered to. Not surprising, she wants to come back.... Now that I've griped and whined, I just don't want her to move in. She really isn't awful, she's just not enough like me for me to look forward to this. I don't want to share my house. I don't want to give up the space I'd like to use for working out and for a game room. How do I tell her? I don't hate her, I'm not mad at her, I just don't think we are compatible. What do I say? When should I tell her? Part of me thinks I should tell her now so she does t keep making plans to relocate and doesn't continue to waste time looking for a job. Her life kind of sucks. She hasn't dated in many years. She never married, no kids. She was sort of strong armed into moving in with a family member to help them financially and health wise. Several years later she is ready to get back to her life. Edited October 18, 2016 by Lady2163 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 She got huffy. "Well, if you're going to charge THAT much, I might as well get my own place." I wasn't planning to charge her for utilities, Internet or cable. After making the above comment, has she mentioned moving in or has it died down? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lady2163 Posted October 18, 2016 Author Share Posted October 18, 2016 After making the above comment, has she mentioned moving in or has it died down? She's just mentioned it on Friday. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Just tell her you've decided to turn the basement into a home gym and games room. No need to tell her any more than that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Just tell her you've decided to turn the basement into a home gym and games room. No need to tell her any more than that. I agree with this. And if she asks for more of an explanation, you can say that you don't want to rent out your house to anybody right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Given what you shared, I think it would be best for you to be upfront with your friend about how you feel. All the best! Link to post Share on other sites
amkxoxo Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I too think I would upfront, in the nicest way possible. Tell her you value her as a friend and would never want anything to happen to screw it up. Tell her because of that I think it would be best if we were not roommates. I think we might end up fighting. We are different people, and I want to keep us as respectful friends and not enemies. This way she thinks you want to preserve your friendship so badly. She seems quite desperate to live in your place for cheap. Its kind of strange. Does seem like she wants to mooch. You seem nice, fixing her meals and doing things for her, so she probably knows she can use you since you too nice. Probably not the best roommate situation. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 She's just mentioned it on Friday. Be honest but nice and respectful when you talk to her... tell her that you feel you two aren't compatible to live together as roomies that it will ruin your friendship. Don't let her bully or manipulate you into changing your mind. It's your house, your decision. If she gets pissy about it, so be it that's on her. Link to post Share on other sites
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