I lied to my friend and now she doesn't talk to me?

[Rosielar]

I don't know what to do. A year ago I pulled a little white lie about where I live because I wasn't ready to tell my closest friend that my parents had gotten divorced. I haven't accepted it myself. I just never told her and the lie kept growing until not so long ago when a friend of ours found out that I live somewhere else because she saw me, she found out. She told my two friends and that include my closest one. Hell I even let my friend drop me off at my old old place then walked home. I lied to her ok. In general we haven't been much in touch becayse we've both been busy but we met up whenever we could and she would text me a lot you know staying in touch. I could've put more effort into our friendship same way she did but I haven't really been seeing anyone that much lately. What I'm saying is that we have lost touch a little and when she found out about this lie she hasn't talked to me. I guess it was kind of the cherry on top but not in a good way. Our two other friends hasn't talked to me either but I never considered them my real friends because of the way they've been acting during the past year. Well anyways I don't know what to do! I really miss her and I feel super bad, I want to reach out to her which I have not and maybe apologize. I know I can but it's scary and I want someone else's perspective on this situation too, like was it really that big of a deal that I lied? Have I hurt her or? I feel super confused..

[Methodical]

Had you respected and trusted her as a friend, there would have been no need to lie about where you live. Where you live is trivial. It's that you lied and played the part by having her drop you off at another location to keep up appearances to support your lie that's bad. Obviously this wasn't a stalker situation, so why lie?

 

Apologizing is going to feel awkward no matter what. Since you want to reach out, it would be a good time to clear the air. IMO, facing the music and taking your lumps will be better received than sweeping it under the rug and pretending it never happened.

[Rosielar]

Had you respected and trusted her as a friend, there would have been no need to lie about where you live. Where you live is trivial. It's that you lied and played the part by having her drop you off at another location to keep up appearances to support your lie that's bad. Obviously this wasn't a stalker situation, so why lie?

 

Apologizing is going to feel awkward no matter what. Since you want to reach out, it would be a good time to clear the air. IMO, facing the music and taking your lumps will be better received than sweeping it under the rug and pretending it never happened.

 

I lied because I didn't want to tell her about the divorce and explain it all since I hadn't accepted it myself. It's been a sensitive spot to say. I figured it wouldn't hurt once but like I said the lie just continued to grow. Yeah I feel super bad.. I didn't want to face it when it went so far. I'm going to reach out to her but it feels so scary, I just keep thinking what if she won't forgive me or just ignore me.

[O'Malley]

Has your friend ever met any of your family? Lying about where you live and never meeting your family might lead someone to believe that you're embarrassed of them, consider them not good enough. Obviously that's not why you were lying but your friends don't know your real reasons for doing so.

 

I'd contact her once and tell her what you've said here, then give her space. It sounds like your friendship wasn't at a strong point when this happened, but hopefully she will get back in touch with you. At the least, you'll have owned up to what you did and tried to make things right.