Fun = Friends

[preraph]

I've been reading LS posts for years and I'm especially interested in the ones in the friendship categories. There are long stories, short stories, stories filled with detail, others with loneliness and neediness. You can dissect the details every little thing and that little thing and say, Well, this wasn't maybe the nicest, or why do you think that's okay, but after thinking about my own life, I feel it distills down to this one truth: I've never met a person who was fun and entertaining who had trouble making or keeping friends. That's the simple requirement for friendship. If you're fun to be around, you have friends.

 

If you're only using friends to prop yourself up so you're not alone going somewhere or to fill your time or to complain to about life, that's just not reason enough to attract and keep friends. Friends will put up with a certain amount of that if there's a good and fleeting reason and you're fun the rest of the time, but no one wants a steady diet of it.

 

To attract friends, you have to be fun. Thoughts?

[rester]

 

To attract friends, you have to be fun. Thoughts?

 

Agreed, although one person's variety or type of "fun" is going to be different from everyone else's. "Fun" is a general term that could extend to "interesting", so maybe people have friends they don't consider "fun", but may in fact consider "interesting" enough to want to be around them.

[preraph]

Right. Which "interesting" is the pretty much the same as "entertaining," and yes it is subjective what people find fun and entertaining or interesting. But for contrast, no one thinks it's fun to be around someone who is always unhappy or complaining or demanding on a regular basis. My point was there is a face of a fun, entertaining person. You can spot them. They're have an "up" energy and are active and visible and make a point to interact in an entertaining way with others. My point is, if anyone is needing direction in finding friends, this is a type of person who can always find friends, so cultivate those traits.

Edited January 8, 2016 by preraph

[Alamo657]

People with real strong friendships are not necessarily funny, but they are always good-natured, positive, being around them make you feel good.

 

Having an interesting job or hobbies that help you attract and keep the attention of others in social gatherings (for example, being a chess expert does not - playing music and doing theather does), is a big plus.

 

For women, i noticed that being cute and laughing loudly while cracking jokes is sufficient to have tons of people around you. Doesn't matter if their job is boring, or they have no hobbies, as long as they always have something witty to say.

[Wewon]

I think that it depends on the depth of the friendship that you're looking for. I think that if you ask most people about their current friends, the words "fun" and "interesting" would be some of the adjectives that they would use. However, if you ask those same people about a sustained friendship or better yet, friendships that didn't withstand the test of time, you would get a more complete picture.

 

You would hear about issues with loyalty, trust, consistency, and being there when times were not so fun. As a matter of fact, I would say that a major milestone in life is the first time a person realizes who their true friends are, usually when you're not very fun and have little to nothing to offer. After an event like that, most people draw a strong line of demarcation between the people that they share recreational activities with and the people that they have deeper relationships with.

 

Ultimately, if a person is constantly glummy or pessimistic they shouldn't expect to be teaming with friends, but most people have also had the wake call of that fair-weather friend that couldn't be bothered if they weren't being entertained as well.

[preraph]

^ Yes. And there is some legitimacy on the issue of fair-weather friends. For example, someone goes through a bad patch and maybe a friend or two can't handle being around them like that temporarily, well, that's not very sustainable. But then there's those who also treat you as disposable when they get a mate or have kids or whatever and everything changes. But the fact remains, if you're fun, that's what friendship requires as a foundation.

[Wewon]

^ Yes. And there is some legitimacy on the issue of fair-weather friends. For example, someone goes through a bad patch and maybe a friend or two can't handle being around them like that temporarily, well, that's not very sustainable. But then there's those who also treat you as disposable when they get a mate or have kids or whatever and everything changes. But the fact remains, if you're fun, that's what friendship requires as a foundation.

 

I guess to each their own. I can't see fun being the foundation that a friendship is based on, maybe the price of admission into the friendship. Friendships that last for years usually have more substance than that as the foundation.

 

Like I said, meeting fun people isn't that difficult, they're in the club every weekend.

[preraph]

Yeah, but if you don't enjoy their company, then you usually don't want to be around them often.

[pro100pk2]

Friends is an important part of our lives

[pro100pk2]

With friends is always fun

[tasev1]

I draw my 'fun' energy from friends. But as it stands now, I don't have that many I have fun with any more. Thus, my vibe is very low. I need fun friends to be out and fun myself - I am naturally introverted, so that positive energy of others is essential. I try to go out alone, but it is difficult to ramp up the social energy to meet new people.

[deckard11]

I made the decision last year to end all my friendships. I'm doing just fine without anyone.

[Sunlight72]

I see what you're saying OP, and it's not far off, but I disagree if you want to be specific.

 

I think to be more precise I would say I want to share something in order to make a new friend. Of course, it does depend what we share, but I think to say someone needs to be 'fun' for me to want a friendship, and enjoy maintaining a friendship, isn't true.

 

I'm thinking of a few of my friends that I make an effort to maintain friendships with. Some are not people I would describe as fun. I would be hard pressed to say I have fun when I'm with them.

 

I certainly would say I like them, and I like being with them, and we share interests and / or perspectives.

 

Others I would certainly say I have fun with. But I would say I share perspectives with all of them.

[SpiralOut]

I think it is true to a certain degree, but it also depends on your definition of "fun." I've met my fair share of people who are fun to spend time with, but have other qualities that don't make it worth it.... like being two-faced.

 

But yes, I'll agree it is hard to be friends with someone (or be a good friend to anyone else) if one is perpetually gloomy.

[LeoneCool]

hehe I think you sum it up very nicely. yes you need to feel happy and fun with activites you both enjoy. people actually bond better with activities than with only words.