Country_Girl Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Met this girl 2 weeks ago, I am a female as well. She 20 years older than me. She's been stalking me ever since, she lives 2 buildings over in the same apt community. Some people warned me about her, but I didn't take them at their word, I just figured she was lonely. She started blowing up my phone with texts and calls, to the point where I told her my phone wasn't working anymore (that's how excessive it got). Then she started knocking on my door, 2-3 times a day, calling my name. She even leaves gifts at my door step. If this wasn't enough, there is something she did with her dog, that I cannot repeat. This thread will be locked and deleted if I said what she did. That info was the kicker for me and I knew right then I did not want to be friends with her. I'm a pretty passive person and I hate confrontation. Is there a nice way to make this friendship slide? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 No, there is NO nice way to get rid of a stalker -- and the longer you put off telling them you don't want any more contact, the less likely they will ever go away. As for the dog, call animal services!! As the expert Gavin deBecker says, "People who can't say no attract people who won't let go." Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Yikes! That's quite a situation. No, sadly there is no nice way to get rid of someone like this. No need to be downright mean right off the bat--plus you don't want to set her off in any way. You have to be firm and disinterested. Any niceness for someone like that is only encouragement. You say: "Listen, [name], this is too much for me. I don't want you to call or text me or visit me anymore. You've stepped over the line and I do not want to be friends with you. I am going to have to ask you to leave me alone." If she does ANYTHING other than exactly what you ask, then you will have to be mean. For example: "I told you to leave me alone. I want no contact with you at all. If you continue calling/texting/visiting/leaving gifts for me, I am going to get the police involved." Make that the last time you speak with her or acknowledge her in any way. If you see her in passing, look the other way. ANYTHING else will be seen as encouragement. And if she steps over the boundary you've set, don't talk to her, just get in touch with the police. Especially if you live in a small town, the police take harassment very seriously and they will go to her apartment and have a talk with her. Sorry you have to go through this. Be sure to take steps to put a stop to it immediately, before anything escalates. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 My friend was in a similar situation with an ex. Any type of attention you give her, be it friendly or mean will probably still attract her. If that's the case, you'll have to call the police. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Met this girl 2 weeks ago, I am a female as well. She 20 years older than me. She's been stalking me ever since, she lives 2 buildings over in the same apt community. Some people warned me about her, but I didn't take them at their word, I just figured she was lonely. She started blowing up my phone with texts and calls, to the point where I told her my phone wasn't working anymore (that's how excessive it got). Then she started knocking on my door, 2-3 times a day, calling my name. She even leaves gifts at my door step. If this wasn't enough, there is something she did with her dog, that I cannot repeat. This thread will be locked and deleted if I said what she did. That info was the kicker for me and I knew right then I did not want to be friends with her. I'm a pretty passive person and I hate confrontation. Is there a nice way to make this friendship slide? If you really think she is stalking you, please take it serious. I do. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Put it in writing when you have to tell her no more contact, and keep that, just in case you need it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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