Zzyxx Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 So basically I've known this girl for 8 months and have fallen in love with her. We dated for about 6 months, but she's in an open relationship with her serious long term girlfriend, and she said that it was too much and she felt guilty (even though the gf knew and said it was ok) so then we kind of just became super/best close friends. It was said in the beginning that if she were single, of course she would have wanted to be with me, but I never expected that cause she and her gf always seemed really solid, and I would never wish a breakup on anyone if things were ok, and I was kind of fine with the way things were. Well now the gf is unhappy in the relationship and is thinking of leaving or moving and of course my best friend is freaking out and super depressed. I'm trying to be there for her, but of course now I'm depressed because I guess I had subconciousy got it into my head that if she were ever single maybe we could be something (but that's not why I stuck around, I genuinely care about her as a friend as well) and that the reason she didn't want me anymore was because of the gf. Her Mom might also have really bad cancer. So there's basically no way I can separate myself from her now, as I'm her best/only closest friend, and me leaving would just make me feel like a horrible person. However, it's really hard watching her cry over her gf when I then go home and cry over her. Any advice on how I can still be there for her while also trying to sort my feelings out? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 You want the tough-love news? You can't. You cannot split your emotions like that. You have to be true to yourself, and honest with her, then give her the choice of whether she wants to do this without your support, or with your support, but fully aware of how you feel. You withholding your expression is lying and cheating yourself, and doing her no favours. You have to be honest, or this will kill something within you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zzyxx Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 Thank you! I really appreciate that, and I'm a fan of tough love You're right, it is really tearing me up inside, and I need to make some kind of move to extricate myself from it. I guess I'm just waiting for a pause in the unfortunate stuff to happen to her to drop the bomb, but I don't know when that will be, so I'm trying to give myself a deadline. Link to post Share on other sites
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