Maharishi Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 One of my closest friends is a woman who is intelligent, kind and generally sensitive. However, she bangs everyone, including or even especially other women's men. At present she is sleeping with one guy who is married with a small child. The wife thinks she is happily married (we are all acquaintances). My friend is also banging another guy who has a serious long-term girlfriend. She recently met a married man in the street and she is banging him now as well. She has a boyfriend in addition to these other guys. Isn't this a nasty thing to do? It doesn't make sense that an otherwise nice woman would do this stuff, surely? I don't mean the sleeping around but rather the fact of sleeping with men you know are married or in a relationship. These aren't cases where the men are in an open relationship. They are cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Nope, that's not normal. Why be around this woman? I would end this relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 The only women I've known who don't differentiate between taken and not taken when pursuing a man had at some time in their past been some form of sex worker, stripper, escort, sugar baby types. And what they had in common was in order to get a married man to sleep with them, they would openly tell them no one else would ever know and that it was strictly no strings attached, no expectations. And of course, all sex workers pump the guy up and tell them they deserve more and nothing is their fault; it's their woman's fault and she doesn't deserve him. All my life I have heard about women who seek out men who aren't really available because they have intimacy issues, but I haven't actually come across one of those personally. And then of course you have so-called sex addicts who don't want to limit their pool for any reason, and they have real issues as well. As you say, nothing wrong with sleeping around. Lots and lots of men do it. But it's wrong if you are misleading anyone or hurting anyone directly or indirectly. So it's a moral problem at the bare minimum and may run much deeper. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 One of my closest friends is a woman who is intelligent, kind and generally sensitive. However, she bangs everyone, including or even especially other women's men. At present she is sleeping with one guy who is married with a small child. The wife thinks she is happily married (we are all acquaintances). My friend is also banging another guy who has a serious long-term girlfriend. She recently met a married man in the street and she is banging him now as well. She has a boyfriend in addition to these other guys. Isn't this a nasty thing to do? It doesn't make sense that an otherwise nice woman would do this stuff, surely? I don't mean the sleeping around but rather the fact of sleeping with men you know are married or in a relationship. These aren't cases where the men are in an open relationship. They are cheating. Who are you criticising, her, or them? People can do whatever they like, you know. Whether they should or shouldn't is purely a matter of opinion. Sure, you believe they shouldn't. They obviously disagree. Of course, consequences always arise.... but that's for them to deal with. Whether this is normal or not is also a matter of conjecture, because 'normal' is subjective.... Everyone has their own opinion of what 'normal' is to them, but in essence, the state of 'normal' is non-existent, because there is NO standard by which to measure it, no 'yardstick' to go by. Social morals do not dictate 'normal'..... Link to post Share on other sites
DC77 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 That's the thing, people are doing whatever they like, whenever they like, without regard to social morals and integrity. It's selfish and self indulgent. This type of free for all thinking is why morals and integrity are becoming faded novelties of the past. Cheating is not okay. What she is doing is not okay. There are other people involved that can and will get hurt. The men involved are weak and lack integrity. The woman involved lacks self respect for herself and respect for others... Integrity. Trust. Honor. Respect. These aren't ground breaking social movements. It's not like you're debating if it's normal to put mustard on a hot dog or wear white after Labor Day. We're talking core values that most self respecting people with a conscience acknowledge as 'normal.'... Back to OP, it's apparent her behavior bothers you or you wouldn't be here asking. It's unfortunate that there are such destructive people out there, but she probably isn't going to change any time soon. Your values don't match up and that will eventually surface some day, if you're not there already. If it were me, I would distance from her. Nothing good can come from her behavior or exploits. Link to post Share on other sites
nadine5 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 OP, have you told her that her behavior bothers you? Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 I'M not aware that a new Rule/law has been passed making this normal and expected behavior, now. One would think that since I'm one of Those People whose behavior warrants "sex-shaming", I'd most assuredly be on the distribution list for getting the word out. Link to post Share on other sites
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