Her Bridges Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I have several old friends from high school and college that I keep intermittent contact with... You know how that goes. I was chatting with one of them online yesterday, just the usual "what's new in your life" sort of stuff. Talked about weekend plans, family, job, whatever. Normal conversation between two normal people. I just ended a 7 year LTR less than two weeks ago. In the talk of family that tidbit got brought up, and it's like a switch flipped on my HS friend. He's determined now to meet up and hang out, "as friends" but has made it clear he "calls dibs on me." It got really awkward when he started suggesting ways to build himself into my weekend plans, offering to help train for my fitness event and help "stretch out" after. To which i clearly said no thanks. At one point he made a hookup/sex joke about the exercise. I mean I'm not prudish but with the minimal level of friendship we have it made things really uncomfortable. I outright said "it's not happening." He did not apologize but continued to insist on ways to get involved in my various weekend plans, including even participating in the event himself. I'm not sure if this is awkwardness from him just being single so long after a messy divorce, or if he really is just being creepy. Now the weird part. Part of my weekend plans involve a prior obligation for a free public event in a local park. An obligation made with my ex, so he will be there. I can't back out. This friend knows my plans because we were taking about them before things got weird, and I have a feeling he's going to choose to show up. With obvious intentions. If he can't respect my clear "no thanks" then I really don't care about sparing his feelings, but should I let the ex know that this old "friend" may pop up? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 No. Wait and see what happens. If he turns up, feign surprise, but have no hesitation in cutting him off at the knees. They say patience and persistence pays, but this guy is cruising for a $20 bruise in the kisser.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Her Bridges Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 (edited) No. Wait and see what happens. If he turns up, feign surprise, but have no hesitation in cutting him off at the knees. They say patience and persistence pays, but this guy is cruising for a $20 bruise in the kisser.... No kidding. He might just get one if he persists. I forgot to mention that my ex is in charge of the section of the event I'm working in. So my thoughts besides the obvious, were that he might want to be aware if he needs to kick someone out. But you're right, it probably would just make things awkward. Edited August 6, 2015 by Her Bridges Link to post Share on other sites
shylane Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 You need to be blunt with the old friend and let him know your boundaries. If you have absolutely no intention of "getting with him", tell him you are glad to just have his friendship, and that he needs to back off of the dreamin'. If you might have an interest in him but its too soon, then tell him that. The fact that you mention the word "creepy" makes it seem to me that the former option is the solution. Link to post Share on other sites
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