ZA Dater Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Undoubtedly this should provide some with ample entertainment and that's fine! The closest I have ever come to having a gf is a California based pen pal I have been chatting to for the last 6 years so, met her on a forum, we have a common interests (its no moaning and moping if anyone was wondering). We communicate fairly often, its very much friend type stuff which is great but I am at the stage where I am curious to meet her in person. Realistically its a bad idea for many reasons but the big reason is what I call the Cinderella syndrome, you try the shoe on and you like it but then you need to give it back. Being a bad idea and being an accountant I am toying with the idea, at the moment its really nice to have someone to communicate with on this friend like basis, the risk is I go and meet her and I loose that communication or I end up liking her too much (I have seen pictures of her) I guess this says more about me that I cant find anyone in SA... Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Have you discussed this idea with the girl or is this just your inner monologue? Personally, I prefer to live by the motto nothing ventured nothing gained. Yes, you run the risk that what you have online doesn't quite work in real life. Six years of continuous communication is a lot to lose and will no doubt leave a huge void in your life. At the same time if you're at this point where you're constantly wondering about all the what if's with this girl it may (if it hasn't already) prevent you from truly putting yourself out there and finding someone closer to home. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Why is it a risk to meet a friend in person? It's one sleep and lunch. My apologies for Cali being on fire right now but it's a drought. Enjoy your flight. (And yes, I've done this many times over the last three decades, including men, women, even LS 'friends'). Life is to be lived. Do friendships change and end? Sure! All part of life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Do you Skype? In 6 years she could have put on quite a few pounds, and I know you do not like fat women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Until you meet her in person and spend time with her in real life, you've just wasted the last 6 years investing in an online fantasy. You're better off going offline, looking for a girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Until you meet her in person and spend time with her in real life, you've just wasted the last 6 years investing in an online fantasy. You're better off going offline, looking for a girlfriend. I don't consider having a pen pal a waste of time, a true waste of time was investing $ and time into the cesspool called OLD. What I may do it tie in a meet up with her with a holiday, that way if it turns out badly and I am underwhelmed I can at least enjoy the holiday. You are right in one respect I am better of looking locally, alas that boat sailed many years ago. At the moment the only female friend I have is this pen pal. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I think you have wasted 6 years hiding behind letters. This has kept you from finding a real relationship. My vote is to go see this girl. If romance is in the cards it made the trip worth it. Even if no further connection is made and you fail to move the relationship to the next level you will now have the motivation to find someone new locally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 you will now have the motivation to find someone new locally. I have absolutely no inclination of going through the whole looking for someone thing again, I spent over 10 years looking and in that time I found absolutely nobody, what I did find was constant rejection and to be honest I can live a better life if I can weed out rejection from it. 31, never had a gf= that boat sailed ages ago. Link to post Share on other sites
shylane Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 There is no risk and nothing to fear. From what you describe, you have a FRIENDSHIP. This doesn't change by meeting in person unless one of you has romantic expectations. Take the romance aspect out of it and just have fun! You may both get lucky and find a spark, but that shouldn't be your goal. Just be happy to know that there's someone who knows a bit of who you are, that appreciates that, and she's willing to connect as a friend in person. Good friends can be vastly more important than love interests. Link to post Share on other sites
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