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Will She Believe Me?


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Im a guy. I used to be great friends with a girl named Lisa. Lisa and I both served in the same church. Things were great until one day I found out that the pastor had been telling some lies to me and other friends for years, which had turned us all against each other.

 

Lisa didn't believe me. No one did. (I didn't go telling everyone, just my closest friends). Since then things went south with me and Lisa because it appeared that I was at odds with church. Now Lisa won't even talk to me.

 

Now Lisa serves faithfully on the worship team, which is a BIG DEAL at our church. I know the team quite well. Especially the 2nd in command, Richard.

 

Richard is a great musician and everyone loves him at church. And for a while he was my good friend. But I've found that Richard has been filming close-ups of Lisa's ass while she walks and while she's bent over when her underwear shows. Lisa has no idea. She thinks he's a saint.

 

I've gotten the videos from Richard's phone without him knowing. And I plan to tell Lisa. But I don't go to church hardly ever and so Lisa thinks I'm not-a-saint. Do you think she will believe me? Or should I not tell her?

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Do I think Lisa will believe you? I doubt it. For a myriad of reasons (her religious proclivities being just one), she's decided you are NOT a person worthy OF being believed. I can't see anything good/positive/worthy of you telling her, other than the smug satisfaction of "I told you so" you'll have when and if it gets blown sky-high in the future.

 

 

As an aside, this reads like a Tyler Perry sex-and-scandal-laden drama series rather than a religious institution which purports to teach others right from wrong and how to operate within God's plan for leading The Good Life to ensure everlasting salvation.

 

In Lisa's defense, it reads like NO ONE is to be trusted, either within the inner or outer circles.

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TaraMaiden2

How did you get the videos from Richard's phone without him knowing?

And how will you convince Lisa it was him and not you, if you are going to be the one showing her?

 

How old are you all, exactly?

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I bet you took those videos and you're trying to frame Richard.

 

Cmon that's it, right?

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The video is of Lisa at a place that I would never be. In the video Richard is talking to her. That's how she'll know.

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How did you get the videos from Richard's phone without him knowing?

And how will you convince Lisa it was him and not you, if you are going to be the one showing her?

 

How old are you all, exactly?

 

Richard's phone didn't have internet so I filmed a playback of the video with the audio up. The video was filmed at a place doing something while I was nowhere near. The audio is up, so she can clearly hear Richard talking.

 

We're in our early 20s

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Clarence_Boddicker

It's not gonna work bro. She's gonna be pissed that you watched the video. Move on. She's not worth your time. Find a different church. Don't get involved in church politics.

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So this video, is taken by Richard, while he's talking to Lisa, while she's walking and he's zooming in on her ass, and also while she's bent over showing her underwear?

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TaraMaiden2
Richard's phone didn't have internet so I filmed a playback of the video with the audio up. The video was filmed at a place doing something while I was nowhere near. The audio is up, so she can clearly hear Richard talking.

 

We're in our early 20s

 

I might have guessed you were still young.

Just move on.

Drop it.

You're just setting yourself up for more hostility, trouble and mess.

 

Whatever you are hoping to achieve by this will pale into insignificance compared to the sh*tstorm you're going to cause.

 

Really, just forget the whole thing.

 

*Waits for protest, argument and OP going ahead anyway because he wants to....*

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So this video, is taken by Richard, while he's talking to Lisa, while she's walking and he's zooming in on her ass, and also while she's bent over showing her underwear?

 

Yes, they were working on something.

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I might have guessed you were still young.

Just move on.

Drop it.

You're just setting yourself up for more hostility, trouble and mess.

 

Whatever you are hoping to achieve by this will pale into insignificance compared to the sh*tstorm you're going to cause.

 

Really, just forget the whole thing.

 

*Waits for protest, argument and OP going ahead anyway because he wants to....*

 

You're absolutely right to be waiting on that TaraMaiden. Although your answer is greatly appreciated because I actually believe you are 100%. This will not bring about what I'm trying to bring about. In my past experiences with these people, an appeal to reason has never worked.

 

I predict that this will cause Lisa to resent me all the more simply because my name is involved. Churches do a good job of excommunicating those people who are "stirring up dissension". The church leaders will say: "The devil would do anything to break up the relationships you have with the other young adults. Kaiten is an outsider for a reason. He only seeks to stir up trouble, the devil has him. And etc."

 

I'm young. I'm going into this knowing that the chances of a good or mature outcome are negligible. However, I know that when I am old I will regret not doing this. I don't see what I have to lose.

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Thank you guys for giving me wisdom and letting me know it won't have a positive outcome. Once I finish telling her, I will come back and post what happened.

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Clarence_Boddicker

Why don't you consider her feelings? You know she doesn't like you. She probably has a thing for Richard. How is she gonna feel when you show her the video of her ass & thong? She's gonna feel violated that this creepy guy (you) has a video of her & has probably been fapping to it. You'd be better off just leaving it alone or send her an anonymous message that Richard has panty vids of her on his phone. Why do you want to make her feel bad & be the villain?

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Thank you guys for giving me wisdom and letting me know it won't have a positive outcome. Once I finish telling her, I will come back and post what happened.

 

If you think it won't have a positive outcome, then what do you think you'll accomplish by telling her?

 

Personally I don't think it will hurt if you got Richard dead to rights filming her underwear while he's talking to her but as others have suggested don't admit that you masturbate to her.

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If you think it won't have a positive outcome, then what do you think you'll accomplish by telling her?

 

Learning my lesson about situations like these.

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TaraMaiden2

So really, why bother?

You will make her insecure, angry mistrusting, afraid and she will hate you for exposing such an issue.

Richard will find you and hold you to account for exposing him.

Everyone will ostracise you more and be hostile and resentful.

 

You will gain absolutely nothing from this except a whole load more grief.

 

Your brain isn't fully formed, yet, did you know that?

 

You are up for making the biggest mistake going.

What in hell's name compels you to create such a dreadful situation?

Why such spite?

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TaraMaiden2
Learning my lesson about situations like these.

 

You will learn nothing we haven't already told you.

This is honestly not a lesson you need to condemn anyone to learning.

To go ahead is reckless, foolish, frankly stupid and juvenile.

 

Don't lose your self-respect...

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So really, why bother?

You will gain absolutely nothing from this except a whole load more grief.

 

Your brain isn't fully formed, yet, did you know that?

 

What in hell's name compels you to create such a dreadful situation?

Why such spite?

 

Oh yes, TaraMaiden I did know that. But let's assume I didn't.

 

You don't actually feel that the link you provided would have swayed my not-fully-formed brain did you? Of course not. If you say to someone, "You shouldn't do that. Your brain isn't fully formed yet" you must know that the chances of convincing them are slim.

 

So what compels me?

 

1) Even though I don't like her that much anymore, I still hate to see this done to her. I would want someone to tell me if it happened to me.

 

2) this is the truth. Richard is not who he appears to be at church. In fact most of those people our age aren't who they appear to be. I feel strongly that a person is more than welcome to run from the truth but they should at least be presented with it to begin with. Just like you showed me that link. She can make that choice herself.

 

3) Honestly, I'm pretty hurt that this was done to her myself.

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TaraMaiden2
Oh yes, TaraMaiden I did know that. But let's assume I didn't.

 

You don't actually feel that the link you provided would have swayed my not-fully-formed brain did you? Of course not. If you say to someone, "You shouldn't do that. Your brain isn't fully formed yet" you must know that the chances of convincing them are slim.

No actually, quite the opposite. I've mentioned it to several young people before now, within that age bracket, and so far, I would safely say they've all been grateful for the advice and had a re-think.

 

Of course, there's always one.... :rolleyes:

 

So what compels me?

 

1) Even though I don't like her that much anymore, I still hate to see this done to her. I would want someone to tell me if it happened to me.

 

2) this is the truth. Richard is not who he appears to be at church. In fact most of those people our age aren't who they appear to be. I feel strongly that a person is more than welcome to run from the truth but they should at least be presented with it to begin with. Just like you showed me that link. She can make that choice herself.

 

3) Honestly, I'm pretty hurt that this was done to her myself.

 

Well don't be surprised if it backfires on you.

Big time.

 

It's possible she actually may even know about it already.... If she's attracted to Richard, this may be just what's needed to push then together.

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Tell her.

 

Yup, I'm a dissenting opinion. Tell this poor girl.

 

Will it blow up in your face? Yes.

 

But this girl will know she's being taped without her permission and will be wary of the other dude when she's around him.

 

Victims of these type of things need to know.

 

Most people are telling you not to because you'll be ostracized more than you are currently. And????? This web of lies church isn't a place that you need to be worried about being ostracized from.

She's going to be upset at you. And???? It won't kill you.

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UPDATE! So here's what happened:

 

I told the girl. I sent her a long message -- longer than I should have. The gist of the message was "I know you don't like me. I'm not crazy about you either, but I kinda still care so I'm telling you this."

 

Things actually went completely different than I expected. They (Lisa's parents and the church leaders) would have preferred if I took it to the pastor, and then let him handle it. As opposed to just telling Lisa directly.

 

I also need to say that in the message I mentioned that she should be careful with whom she associates with, and that people are not who they appear to be. I mentioned a couple names but not what they said about Lisa.

 

Lisa was really messed up by the video. But apparently, she was just as offended by my message. They all took it as me sowing seeds of discord. Fair enough. But it was also interpreted as me trying to get back into Lisa's life, like some sort of guy who's obsessed with her.

 

In my message to her I said, "I decided a while ago that I was going to let you be. And really, I wanted nothing to do with you -- I mean that in a polite way ..."

 

^ That was my sorry attempt at convincing her that I didn't like her that much.

 

I wanted to communicate that she should be careful, and that people aren't who they appeared to be. Instead, i communicated that I was mean-spirited and jealous of the people who are in her life. Even though everything I said was true, it got seriously misconstrued. To be 100% honest I was just tired of people saying stuff about her and then pretending like they were her best friends.

 

Her parents think I'm the devil incarnate now. Specifically her father. He thinks that the only reason I said anything about Richard was to try and get back into Lisa's life. I understand he's gotta protect his baby girl, but I think that's kind of a dick way to think of me.

 

When I asked why, it was revealed to me that I was not the "correct vessel" for saying what I said to her even though it was true. As an outsider, it wasn't my place to be revealing those kinds of things to her.

 

I so badly wish that we (people my age -- in their 20s) could just handle their problems without involving all these old people.

 

All in all, everyone agrees that I am a bad person -- never mind what Richard did -- because they feel I was just trying to break apart the young adult group at church.

 

Richard left the church.

 

As far as I'm concerned, the lesson I learned is that I probably should have divided this into two battles. I should have handled the thing with Richard separately from mentioning to her that people say some pretty mean s#!t behind her back. Then again, I had no intention of talking to her afterward so I thought I may as well get it all out. I also learned because I am an outsider, they automatically assume that my motives are impure.

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TaraMaiden2

We did try to tell you.

 

That things went as you totally did not expect them to - is untrue. Because we pointed out this would happen.

 

But hey, you went ahead anyway, because you believed you were right, and we were all wrong.

 

 

So now, here it is.

 

I so badly wish that we (people my age -- in their 20s) could just handle their problems without involving all these old people.

What, like you involved us...?

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