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Speaking online versus in person (pros and cons)


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Speaking online:

 

Pros: You have the conversation forever, can speak about private things easier. You have more time to think.

Cons: Not as "real". More anonymous.

 

In person: pros body language.

Cons: Other people can overhear. Has to be in person.

 

Can anyone add anything?

Edited by Liquinn
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The pros of online conversation are that you can have it forever, you can talk about private things and you have time to think??

 

I don't understand the first two at all, but I'll agree that when you're writing as a primary means of communication you have more time to think about exactly what you want and how to say it.

 

Generally speaking, direct, in person communication, which allows for facial expressions, tone, and of course touch, is much more effective and satisfying.

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The pros of online conversation are that you can have it forever, you can talk about private things and you have time to think??

 

I don't understand the first two at all, but I'll agree that when you're writing as a primary means of communication you have more time to think about exactly what you want and how to say it.

 

Generally speaking, direct, in person communication, which allows for facial expressions, tone, and of course touch, is much more effective and satisfying.

Well, you can talk about things online you may not speak about in public/in person. Plus you have written conversation's forever. That's what I mean. :)

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Not sure I'd want my most private thoughts to be out there in writing forever.

 

Some day you'll meet a person with whom you can tell your private thoughts to face to face and you'll realize how much better it is.

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Not sure I'd want my most private thoughts to be out there in writing forever.

 

Some day you'll meet a person with whom you can tell your private thoughts to face to face and you'll realize how much better it is.

You have a very important point. What if I have to wait years for that? :)

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You have a very important point. What if I have to wait years for that? :)

 

Why would you have to wait years to speak to a person face to face?

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Why would you have to wait years to speak to a person face to face?

I mean - wait years to meet a person with whom I can tell my private thoughts to face to face.

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Why do you think it will take years to meet a person with whom you can have a face to face private conversation?

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Why do you think it will take years to meet a person with whom you can have a face to face private conversation?

I mean what if I have to wait a few years to tell my private thoughts face to face?

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Why would you have to wait a few years to tell your private thoughts to someone face to face?

 

I don't know what your situation is, but I'll guess your single and looking to meet someone.

 

At a ripe 52 years of age with a failed marriage behind me and the last 10 years of dozens of first dates and a few long term relationships including the one I'm in right now which is 3 years long and going strong, I can tell you that generally speaking it's easy to meet women, I use online dating sites primarily. I have never been single for more than a month or two my entire life, I am not bragging, nor am I suggesting it's a good thing to go from one relationship to another, I am merely saying that it's not at all difficult to meet new dating partners.

 

So you put yourself on there, you start chatting and messaging with women, suggest a first meetup, and before you know it you've got someone to talk to with whom you can share your private thoughts face to face. Is there a reason why you cannot do this?

 

It's weird... when I talk in person I feel as though I don't know the person :/

 

Maybe you don't know them that well. How long have you been with these people with whom you feel that way?

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Why would you have to wait a few years to tell your private thoughts to someone face to face?

 

I don't know what your situation is, but I'll guess your single and looking to meet someone.

 

At a ripe 52 years of age with a failed marriage behind me and the last 10 years of dozens of first dates and a few long term relationships including the one I'm in right now which is 3 years long and going strong, I can tell you that generally speaking it's easy to meet women, I use online dating sites primarily. I have never been single for more than a month or two my entire life, I am not bragging, nor am I suggesting it's a good thing to go from one relationship to another, I am merely saying that it's not at all difficult to meet new dating partners.

 

So you put yourself on there, you start chatting and messaging with women, suggest a first meetup, and before you know it you've got someone to talk to with whom you can share your private thoughts face to face. Is there a reason why you cannot do this?

Well, I go into town a lot but I'm much more comfortable speaking about my foot fetish online - but if I speak to a female in person (I never mention it in person). There's no reason. =)

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It seems like I'm playing it safe by speaking about my fetish online... versus not talking about it in person.

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A foot fetish is not something you'd bring up in casual conversation with a woman you haven't known that long. Whether it was by text or face to face makes no difference.

 

That's something you'd talk about after you're involved with her, in an exclusive sexual relationship. At which point you'd say something to her like "You are amazing, our sex life is great, and there's something that I'd like to share with you about my sexual preferences..you see I've got something for feet".

 

It's something I've had to deal with in virtually every one of my sexual relationships, because I have a fetish too, and I've found that if I just pull out and cum all over their faces without advance warning, she may react unpredictably.

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A foot fetish is not something you'd bring up in casual conversation with a woman you haven't known that long. Whether it was by text or face to face makes no difference.

 

That's something you'd talk about after you're involved with her, in an exclusive sexual relationship. At which point you'd say something to her like "You are amazing, our sex life is great, and there's something that I'd like to share with you about my sexual preferences..you see I've got something for feet".

 

It's something I've had to deal with in virtually every one of my sexual relationships, because I have a fetish too, and I've found that if I just pull out and cum all over their faces without advance warning, she may react unpredictably.

I see. What if she can't accept the fetish? Which is probably the main worry.

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It seems like I'm playing it safe by speaking about my fetish online... versus not talking about it in person.

 

Well if you just want to talk about your foot fetish to a bunch of strangers so you can get feedback and that sort of thing, then that's perfectly fine, but that won't get you any closer to finding someone who will share it with you, which I assumed was your intention.

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Well if you just want to talk about your foot fetish to a bunch of strangers so you can get feedback and that sort of thing, then that's perfectly fine, but that won't get you any closer to finding someone who will share it with you, which I assumed was your intention.

You have a good point. Approval is okay to some degree but not what I want. I have spoken to a few women in person (they spoke to me first) but the conversation's were quite short.

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I see. What if she can't accept the fetish? Which is probably the main worry.

 

I can tell you from personal experience that once a woman falls in love with you she'll put up with almost anything to please you.

 

I'm thinking a foot fetish would not be a dealbreaker to most women, they'd probably find it cute or something and go right along with it.

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I can tell you from personal experience that once a woman falls in love with you she'll put up with almost anything to please you.

 

I'm thinking a foot fetish would not be a dealbreaker to most women, they'd probably find it cute or something and go right along with it.

As long as I focus on her as a person, who she is and her feet. I should have no problem.

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You have a good point. Approval is okay to some degree but not what I want. I have spoken to a few women in person (they spoke to me first) but the conversation's were quite short.

 

Short first conversations about non private matters are a perfect way to break the ice. Then you gotta take it further. Say to her, "it was nice chatting with you, how about I take you to dinner on Friday at 6 pm".

 

Then you've got her attention for a good hour or two and the conversation will, by necessity, be that much longer. That does not mean you need to bring up your foot fetish during dessert, that's way too soon.

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What exactly do I get from girls online approving of the fetish? I've accepted it as well.

 

I need to shift things online to in-person... I guess?

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As long as I focus on her as a person, who she is and her feet. I should have no problem.

 

Don't do that. Focus on her eyes. I guess you can occasonally shoot a brief look at her feet but don't make it obvious.

 

Pretend you're adjusting your napkin or looking to see where a dropped lettuce leaf went or something along those lines.

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Short first conversations about non private matters are a perfect way to break the ice. Then you gotta take it further. Say to her, "it was nice chatting with you, how about I take you to dinner on Friday at 6 pm".

 

Then you've got her attention for a good hour or two and the conversation will, by necessity, be that much longer. That does not mean you need to bring up your foot fetish during dessert, that's way too soon.

You have a point. Why do I prefer older women though? I prefer someone over my age (23).

 

What am I getting out of the online approval? Not much now.

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