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should I bring a gift to this bridal shower?


disneyfan90

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disneyfan90

One of my good friends from college is hosting a bridal shower which turned out to be almost $40 per person. The problem is that the guests have to pay, and I am a broke grad student. I'm not sure if it's normal for guests to pay--I've never been to a bridal shower. If I didn't go, I'd have felt bad because she and I used to be great friends. Since l'm paying $40 to attend, what would be an appropriate gift? Would I be expected to bring a gift at all? I'd really struggle to pay anything that's too much over $40.

Edited by disneyfan90
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Do you know the bride? Or are you just tagging along with your friend? If you don't know the bride, I don't know why you'd want to go. But if you are friends with the bride, then I guess you pony up and buy a present as well. I never heard of charging people for the privilege of attending your bridal shower, but I assume there must be a restaurant reserved, food and drinks paid for with the $40, and that it's a buffet or whatever. But if it's just at someone's house, I guess I just think that's going too far.

 

Seems like if you were invited to the wedding or the shower, you'd already have received a written invitation that said on there where she is registered for gifts. Then you'd know what to get her.

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disneyfan90
Do you know the bride? Or are you just tagging along with your friend? If you don't know the bride, I don't know why you'd want to go. But if you are friends with the bride, then I guess you pony up and buy a present as well. I never heard of charging people for the privilege of attending your bridal shower, but I assume there must be a restaurant reserved, food and drinks paid for with the $40, and that it's a buffet or whatever. But if it's just at someone's house, I guess I just think that's going too far.

 

Seems like if you were invited to the wedding or the shower, you'd already have received a written invitation that said on there where she is registered for gifts. Then you'd know what to get her.

 

Oh sorry! My wording was totally off. I meant that my friend is the bride and that her sister is hosting the shower. And yes, the bride is a very good friend of mine. So in that case, I should buy her a gift. It is at a pretty fancy restaurant and everything is paid for. I guess it makes sense to pay that amount then.

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Would I be expected to bring a gift at all?

 

I mean, yeah, pretty much. A shower is specifically a gift-giving party. Attendees "shower" the bride with gifts. That's where the name comes from.

 

And no, it's not really normal to pay to attend a party someone else is "hosting." And $40 is pretty pricey.

 

Since l'm paying $40 to attend, what would be an appropriate gift?

 

Something small and inexpensive, if anything. (Something handmade by you? Maybe something like this: Year of Dates Binder : The Dating Divas )

 

Remember that you'll probably still want to buy the couple an actual wedding gift. Do not go broke or overextend yourself for this wedding. If you can't afford the shower, don't go.

 

Edit: Let us know what you decide to do, yeah? I'm always interested in how this stuff plays out.

Edited by CC12
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Being asked to pay to attend a shower is horribly tacky. If whoever is throwing this shower can't afford $40 pp that host should have selected a more affordable venue. I'd send a $40 gift & stay home.

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Still, anyone can choose to rsvp "no." Brides are getting all the wrong idea from all these stupid bride shows on tv.

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disneyfan90
I mean, yeah, pretty much. A shower is specifically a gift-giving party. Attendees "shower" the bride with gifts. That's where the name comes from.

 

And no, it's not really normal to pay to attend a party someone else is "hosting." And $40 is pretty pricey.

 

 

 

Something small and inexpensive, if anything. (Something handmade by you? Maybe something like this: Year of Dates Binder : The Dating Divas )

 

Remember that you'll probably still want to buy the couple an actual wedding gift. Do not go broke or overextend yourself for this wedding. If you can't afford the shower, don't go.

 

Edit: Let us know what you decide to do, yeah? I'm always interested in how this stuff plays out.

 

I've decided to attend the party because she's been a real good friend of mine for several years. She'd always buy me pretty pricey gifts on Christmas and my birthdays (even when I insisted she not do such a thing), so I think I owe it to her. But I don't think I will spend more than $20 on the gift. I like the idea that you suggested though.

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whichwayisup
I've decided to attend the party because she's been a real good friend of mine for several years. She'd always buy me pretty pricey gifts on Christmas and my birthdays (even when I insisted she not do such a thing), so I think I owe it to her. But I don't think I will spend more than $20 on the gift. I like the idea that you suggested though.

 

Just buy her something sentimental and from your heart. It can be simple and inexpensive.

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